Bakerstown Chief NOT BITTEN

Officials form Bakerstown have told us that earlier reports that their chielf of police, Shy Ruparel, was bitten are in fact false. He has spoken with us, and reassured us taht they are doing their “darn tootin best” to protect their citizens and share information and best practices with neighboring towns. Mr. Ruparel says his political opponents are likely behind the lies, saying the move was “immature, inappropriate, and insensitive”.