Northland Public Health Agency issues new advisories

The Northland Public Health Agency today released revised health guidelines for the month July.

“We are warning all Northlanders that plentiful spring rains, followed by a warm summer, have resulted in unusually high pollen levels across southern Ontario and Quebec.” said it statement. “Consequently, watery, itchy eyes and frequent sneezing are likely to afflict those suffering from seasonal allergies. These can be treated with simple over-the counter medication.”

The statement continued: “In addition, if travelling South of the Border this summer, travellers should be aware that growing numbers of Vicious Animated Corpses have been reported in areas of Mishigamaa and Adirondack. If VACs are encountered, we advise against approaching. Instead, it is recommended that Northlanders apologize politely, and withdraw from the area immediately.