Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (AP Aurelia Ontario)

“Well I don’t know, they just showed up at the door”, stated Mrs. Ida Olgunquit, when asked about her new American “friends”.

Ida, a kindly 84-year old resident of Aurelia, Ontario, took in a family of people who she believed to be lost, beleaguered American tourists.

“They were all dirty and grunting, wearing their ‘Make America Great Again’ hats. I thought they were lost so I invited them in for tea.”, the lovely lady continued, “I didn’t suspect anything until one of them tried to bite Captain Majectic’s tail [editor’s note: Captain Majestic is Ida Olgonquit’s Persian Cat].”

Mrs. Olgonquit called 911 shortly after serving the American visitors her reknowned steak tartare, which seemed to please them very much. When asked why she didn’t call authorities earlier, she simply stated “that wouldn’t have been very polite, dear.”