“Zombie outbreak” reported in various states

Citizens in various states have been advised to “stay home” after reports of zombies have been sighted. ¬†States affected include Ouisconsin, Adirodack, Ahao, Mishigamaa and Powhatan.

Benjamin Gill, the Press Liaison officer for the Joint Chief of Staff, was quoted as saying, “I have every bit of confidence that the States are able to handle this on their own.”

The White House has yet to make an official press release.