Official Statement from Homeland Security re Reports of Zombie Outbreaks

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Department of Homeland Security

The President and her team are aware of the developing situation involving
an infectious disease in multiple states across the north-east region.

We are in contact with state and city officials and relevant federal
agencies including the CDC. We have full faith in them but stand ready to
assist in any way we can. We are currently considering a range of steps
which can be taken.

We would urge all citizens to report any strange activity to the relevant
local authorities. We would also urge the press not to inflame panic by
indulging in idle speculation or sensationalist gossip. White House
officials are ready and able to brief the press where appropriate.

Sincerely,
Sec. Homeland Security.