Homeland Security: We Have a Cure – Distribution by either Aerosol or Dart

Homeland Security has informed national media that they have developed a cure and have developed two delivery methods: aerosol and darts. They are currently in the process of determining which method to use. While the national media welcomes this news, it is intriguing that numerous state and local governments appear to have developed a cure before the federal government. Perhaps the federal government’s prior preoccupation with nuclear weaponry, which has been confirmed through confidential sources despite protestations to the contrary from the White House, was the cause of the federal government’s lackadaisical behavior.