Head of Emergency Services flees Aurora as State of Emergency declared

The HoES of Aurora was seen fleeing the city at high speed moments before the mayor declared an official State of Emergency. The local Badger News office in Aurora reports that ‘zombie-like groups’ have started siegeing the building and that law and order has collapsed.

The news of the fleeing official came ironically at the same time the governors office released a statement urging people not to speed. Meanwhile the Halperin Chief of Emergency Services has stated that ‘This country has more guns than people. We’re not worried’ before shooting his pistols wildly into the air and dancing a jig.

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