Archive For The “Ouisconsin” Category

Wild Card candidate tipped to win

Wild Card candidate tipped to win

Outrunner Candidate Cleatus Melaetus is tipped to win by a Laaaaaan’slaaaad after promising the electorate the Cleansing fire of retribution and a grilled cheese sandwich.

 

In other news the Mayor of Racine defo shagged a Zombie and it’s true because everyone says so, even Geoff on security. an he don’t say much

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Ouisconsin, Politics- Your next Governor

Ouisconsin, Politics- Your next Governor

There are two candidats running in this state:

Wright City Mayor Jonathan Durrant under the Democratic ticket and Rerunning this term is Governor Chris Gannon.

Durrant has managed to maintain the safety for the majority of his citizens despite constantly being on the edge however he has failed to fully recover from this incident. He claims that “Resolve, Determination and experience are required to deal with this threat”

Meanwhile Gannon has had to manage the situation at a larger scale, alhough hes had some mishaps such as the pushing of the Necrotec cure which was claimed as an acceptable loss considering what would have been lost otherwise. However he has been quoted on his presidential candidate saying that “it is taking the piss considering [Osa governed] the state where the infection started.”

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A new hope? FoG

A new hope? FoG

Clietus, Leader of Fists of God runs for Wright City Mayor, the group highly responsible for cleaning up the majority of Wright City runs for office.

With support growing at an unprecedented speed

Could this be the new world order?

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Editor in Chief Runs for President!

Editor in Chief Runs for President!

I, the Editor in Chief of the Kanawha Newspaper am running for President of the United States of America! I have been dutifully representing the voice of the people during this pressing weekend, and I have been the only voice of reason amidst all of this chaos. I hope you will consider giving me your support.

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Death crusade for Kenosha Police

Death crusade for Kenosha Police

The Kenoshan police have set off on a certain death crusade of vengeance through Racine and Wright city. These desperate men have vowed to sell their lives dearly and take as many deadies as they can from this world to the next. This doomed party look as though they face their deaths fighting a path to the hospital, many souls are gathered there as they fight hand in hand with the fist of God militia

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Cure being mass produced by NecroTec in Ouisconsin

Cure being mass produced by NecroTec in Ouisconsin

As we speak, samples of the cure are on its way to NecroTec, Ouisconsin to be mass produced. The states of Adirondack and Wabash are mass creating the delivery systems to be used by the states of Adirondack, Wabash and Susquehannock, who has been delivering the cure.

Helicopters provided by another state, but under the control of the governor of Susquehannock are transporting the delivery system. The delivery system will be filled with the mass-produced cure at the NecroTec factory in Ouisconsin, after which they will fly back to Susquehannock for distribution. Adirondack and Wabash will retrieve their filled delivery systems in a similar way.

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BREAKING: Frightening evidence of zombie conspiracy

BREAKING: Frightening evidence of zombie conspiracy

Posted through our letter box from a trusted and respected source, an admission of guilt maybe from the Mayor of Racine.

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Firefighters Hold Desperate last stand in Kenosha

Firefighters Hold Desperate last stand in Kenosha

The heroic fire service of Kinosha continues to hold a final stand against unwinnable odds in the crumbling city. These bold men and women of the fire service continue to fight for their community even after the police and politicians have abandoned them. Shame on all others who were supposed to protect this city, for letting this city along with another Badger News office fall to ruin.

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Last Stand of Madison

Last Stand of Madison

As a last ditch attempt the brave and ever charismatic Mayor Bernardis of Madison is making a personal last stand alongside the police and emergency services. Despite the many attempts to drum up support from both the local cities and the government those attempts have unfortunately failed and as Madison have been abandoned Bernardis is taking it into his own hands and prepares to launch the “cure” himself.

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Ouisconsin, Greenbay- 17 die in Initial test of Necrotec cure

Ouisconsin, Greenbay- 17 die in Initial test of Necrotec cure

The National Gaurds deployment of their cure has proven fatal. Although the infected in the area were cure an unforeseen Biohazardous effect killed them after being cured. A total of 17 casualties have been declared.

Necrotec commented “The attack was pressed forward due to the unredeemable nature of the target location. The Biohazard effect was an unforeseen side effect that given more time to test could have been dealt with. We are confident that the Dart Delivery system we are producing will not have these unfortunate effects.”

It is particularly notable that this test was pushed forward by the Governor of Ouisconsin despite concerns from congress and locals. However he is “condemning [Necrotec] for lying about the situation.”

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Govenor Chris Gamon “Your children will thank you” as a Potential Cure is Deployed

Govenor Chris Gamon “Your children will thank you” as a Potential Cure is Deployed

The governor gave a rousing speech encouraging the use of a potential cure, despite federal instruction not to deploy. The speech, which was a call back to American independence stirred the hearts of many. Calling representatives to “Obey the distant whims of an uncaring elite … or do the right thing” , this emotive display ended with a stark, but clear message ” You may struggle to sleep at night after [making this choice] . Your children will, however, thank you.”

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BREAKING: DO WE KNOW THE CAUSE OF THE CURSE?

BREAKING: DO WE KNOW THE CAUSE OF THE CURSE?

During the day our reporters at Badger News have been working tirelessly to bring you the news and updates as they have been happening.

Although we have been under the cosh with constant information coming in and the pull of different political powers to get they’re message out we have also been investigating the situation in order to try and report the truth and any other questions of authority involvement.

We have been quite open in our support for the political leaders as they struggle to get a grip of they’re individual cities, the Police and the Emergency Services have our highest praise for limiting the body count within our great State.

But one thing just doesnt taste right….

The Mayor of Racine has been the star of the show today remaining calm under the pressure, maybe too calm? the emergency Racine faced was very different from the emergency every other city faced and as the other cities burned to the ground the Mayor of Racine began his plot to overthrow the Mayor of Kenosha. Plot maybe a bit strong? lets face it, Kenosha was handed to him. it seems the outbreak has benefited some people?

As others crumble Racine are throwing parties and celebrations.

Maybe they were never in danger?

CEO of the Necrotech made a public statement celebrating the collaboration of the Mayor and Racine city.

Would it not be in Necrotechs interest to protect Racine, especially as Racine is the location and home of theyre forefront research facility.

We have also heard from good sources Necrotech senior officials being evacuated from neighboring cities well before the outbreak had even taken hold, before there was ever a sniff of a problem.

Was this whole thing, this disaster a test? a power grab?

Who is the most likely to run this state beyond this disaster than the unflappable James Wiggins?

All we know as of now is that Necrotech and Racine have a lot of questions to answer.

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Daring Escape from Green Bay

Daring Escape from Green Bay

After a zombie hoard overran our office in Green Bay, this daring reporter made a swift and courageous exit from the city. I would like to ask other city officials to take better care of our offices going forward, and we will be seeking damages in the future if and when this crisis is resolved.

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Governor Jon Drops Out

Governor Jon Drops Out

Governor Jon has decided to drop out of the race for president and endorse Mayor Mike who has officially started running for president also has the full support of both the Republican Charlottes Ville and the Democratic Roanoke. Governor Jon is now running to be reelected as Governor, with Mikes support. Mike believes that one of the reasons the Governor is so disliked is that he was dealt a bad hand he did his best and pulled through everything and our city was bettered by his support.

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Breaking News: Necrotech May Have Cure in Ouisconsin

Breaking News: Necrotech May Have Cure in Ouisconsin

National media has learned of reports that Necrotech may have developed a cure in Ouisconsin. Further reports as the situation develops.

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82nd Airborne Division Deploy into Ouisconsin

82nd Airborne Division Deploy into Ouisconsin

To the relief of many, the famous division has now been deployed into Ouisconsin, bringing much needed military support to the state. Residents are hoping that this move hasn’t come too late to restore some semblance of order to the disaster-ravaged state.

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Wright City Mayor Arms vigilantes

Wright City Mayor Arms vigilantes

Wright City Mayor, in a move of apparent desperation has chosen to arm the religious extreme group The Fists of God.

 

Armed to patrol the streets and rid them of the undead (quoted from the leader of the group) The vigilantes are “only targeting the undead and infected” when pushed further the leader said: “We want to rid this city of the Devil and the godless” Arming civilians is a clear indication of the terrible state in Wright City. It is yet to be determined if we should be more fearful of the vigilantes or the undead.

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A New Fight-Back Against the Zombie Threat?

A New Fight-Back Against the Zombie Threat?

Several reports are coming in from cities across Ouisconsin of the new, heroic, and at times unconventional methods the American people are using to take the fight back to the undead scourge. From Madison, where local firefighters have taken to modifying their fire trucks to be used to run down the undead, to Green Bay working with Necrotech to try a new aerosol cure method delivered by helicopter. The American spirit refuses to die down. Congratulations also to various town mayors on deciding to fight side-by-side with their people.

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BREAKING: Bernardis Evacuates Madison

BREAKING: Bernardis Evacuates Madison

Mayor Bernardis issues evacuation order to Madison as city becomes completely overun and uncontrollable. Bernardis allegedly is prioritizing “important people”as they flea the capital.

Seen first hand the Capital is falling rapidly, citizens are urged to head to Border Dam for santuary.

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National Guard Announces withdrawal of support to Racine and Kenosha

National Guard Announces withdrawal of support to Racine and Kenosha

An official representing the guard spoke to badger news and clarified that this decision was made due to the greater needs of Green Bay and Madison at this time.

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Breaking News: Mayor takes charge

Breaking News: Mayor takes charge

James Wiggins now being coined the Savour of Oisconsin has been handed power of Kenosha.

 

It has now been confirmed the mayor of Kenosha has stood down and James Wiggins will represent both Kenosha and his beloved Racine City. what better man to lead the people than the man of the people.

 

Do we have a political shift happening in Oisconsin?

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UPDATE: Injured Man Escapes From AIM Officials After Attempted Capture

UPDATE: Injured Man Escapes From AIM Officials After Attempted Capture

After a brief interview with the man who stumbled into our office, it transpires that AIM had been looking for volunteers to carry out field research on the outbreak. After refusing to volunteer for the research project, AIM employees refused to let the man leave and it was only after making a daring escape against steep odds that he was able to reach us to break the story.

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BREAKING NEWS: Necrotech successfully produced new cure for Zombie virus

BREAKING NEWS: Necrotech successfully produced new cure for Zombie virus

Necrotech has finally managed to create a cure and initial tests are proving successful. The cure will be delivered either via Dart or Aerosal, with an initial distribution being handled at a Greenbay cite.

Joe Lunnon

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Warrior of Racine!

Warrior of Racine!

Amidst the ongoing chaos Racine appears to be standing firm and strong, whilst the other Cities and State in general struggle to get a grip of they’re ongoing problems James Wiggins, Mayor of Racine is personally guarding his cities border in the frontline of defense against the unliving force. in an interview he says:

“We are working closely with the Mayor of Kenosha and have always had a good working relationship, As far as we in Racine are concerned every Politician should be on the frontline in defense of this great nation”

 

Racine are holding a cultural celebration today at the University.

the Mayors press release says:

“Everyone is invited, except the undead”

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Breaking News- Derailed train brings undead to Wishicama

Breaking News- Derailed train brings undead to Wishicama

The undead have gotten past border controls by careening through them. A refugee train crashed past the quarantine and to the shock of locals the occupants had been long dead. Local forces are doing what they can to handle the issue.

Joe Lunnon

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Wright City Chief of Police Fails Basic Geography Question

Wright City Chief of Police Fails Basic Geography Question

In  a recent press conference, Wright City Chief of Police showed a lack of basic understanding of his state by failing to state correctly the capitol of Ouisconsin. Are our citizens safe with these officials in charge?

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BREAKING: Mysterious Man Rushes Into Badger News Building

BREAKING: Mysterious Man Rushes Into Badger News Building

A severely injured man has rushed into our office in Madison amidst claims of mistreatment by the AIM corporation. While full details of events have yet to be released, our organisation will be working closely with Madison officials to insure this man’s safety until more details can be released.

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Oisconsin, Science- Necrotech close to cure

Oisconsin, Science- Necrotech close to cure

Necrotech have been tirelessly working towards a cure for the undead and their scientists claim they are “on the verge of a breakthrough. We have almost finished work on early morphology but need more samples.” They have also confirmed that the undead can be revived.

Joe Lunnon

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Zombies spread to Minnesota and Iowa

Zombies spread to Minnesota and Iowa

Reports of the Zed problem becoming under control in question as confirmation comes in of Zombies spreading to Minnesota and Iowa.

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BREAKING: Green Bay Mayor Roger Laidlaw Takes to Streets Armed with AXE

BREAKING: Green Bay Mayor Roger Laidlaw Takes to Streets Armed with AXE

Reports from Green Bay say their Mayor has rushed onto the streets armed with an axe to fight back the waves of zombies personally. This heroic move comes after a very large number of zombies laid waste to the city. The Democrat mayor decided that enough was enough, and that direct action was required. This Badger News reporter has found these inspiring stories comforting as Zombies have laid siege to our offices, knowing there is a person out there in the city working hard to wipe this menace off the map.

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Breaking: State of Emergency Declared!!

Breaking: State of Emergency Declared!!

During a recent press conference Governor of Oinsconsin declares state of emergency. the Governor did stay around long enough for any questions to be asked and amidst a ripple of disapproval he slopes away.

 

What has this state come to?

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Benardis appeals for help

Benardis appeals for help

Mayor Benardis administration is doing everything possible to keep things in control in surrounding cities, however the capital city is now under attack and is believed to be a major target.

The Mayor has appealed for state and Military presence.

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Racine Remain Calm in Chaos

Racine Remain Calm in Chaos

Amid reports of the rumored state wide state of emergency Racine Mayor James Wiggins stands calm. Not only have Racine appeared to have dealt the all threats thrown at them in what this day may be remember as “Day Z” but they have opened they’re doors to receive those seeking shelter and safety.

 

In a statement the Mayor says he has “no faith in state governance” and believes the talk of “state wide state of emergency is unnecessary”

Is he a man of the people? a modern hero maybe? or someone who is only in touch with Racine and not the wider State?

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Wright City Mayor Assists Distressed Citizens

Wright City Mayor Assists Distressed Citizens

Reports of heroism from the Mayor of Wright City have inspired citizens of the city. The mayor, who has been issuing orders on the ground alongside his emergency services, has been praised by residents for his willingness to get stuck in with the effort to repel zombies from the city.

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Wright City plea!

Wright City plea!

Fire Officer of Wright City Jenny pleads that anyone with fire hoses to please donate them in the fight to keep the flames at bay.

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Ouisconsin, Green Bay- Green Bay Governor refuses to accept Whitehouse support

Ouisconsin, Green Bay- Green Bay Governor refuses to accept Whitehouse support

Sources close to the mayor of green bay have expressed concerns of the governor as he refuses to declare a state of emergency. Despite the city being in a catastrophic state the White House is unable to deploy forces due to the governors inaction. “[The Governor] should get his ass down here”

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madison collaboration

madison collaboration

madison emergency services collaborate with green bay to put out fires in city.

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STATE OF EMERGENCY DECLARED: Kenosha is falling!!

STATE OF EMERGENCY DECLARED: Kenosha is falling!!

A state of emergency has been declared by Kenosha. amid reports of evacuation we can confirm that Racine Mayor has opened his doors to Kenosha.

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BREAKING NEWS: KENOSHA EVACUATE

BREAKING NEWS: KENOSHA EVACUATE

Breaking: we have information from a solid source that Kenosha Mayor is making plans to evacuate the city and head for Racine.

Quoted source “mayor walking around with some kind of god complex, taking selfies hitting dead zombies, what a salad”

 

“kenosha needs help from the Military”

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Ouisconsin, Ouisconsin, Racine- “We are doing what we can, if that requires working with Necrotech so be it”

Ouisconsin, Ouisconsin, Racine- “We are doing what we can, if that requires working with Necrotech so be it”

The chief of police has openly admitted to working with Necrotech, however he refused to comment as to what that relationship entailed. Necrotech also refused to comment on the live captives their holdng.

Joseph Lunnon

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State Governor Speaks out Against Domestic Flight Ban

State Governor Speaks out Against Domestic Flight Ban

the governor has spoken out against the federal government’s decision to ground all domestic flights around the US as “a severe federal overreach”. He also calls for no more talking around the issues, saying “dead is dead, they’re not undead Americans, or medically challenged, let’s call them what they are”.

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UPDATE: Wright city siege

UPDATE: Wright city siege

In an update to the developing situation in Wright city, the city’s mayor personally lead a raid in order to free those trapped in the hospital. Whether courageous or stupid, the move was successful as local law enforcement take back control of the situation.

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BREAKING NEWS- Necrotech confirms Zombies

BREAKING NEWS- Necrotech confirms Zombies

The leading scientists at Necrotech have identified the strain of virus causing the Infestation we now experience. They have confirmed that the virus is indeed resurrecting the dead. In oher news Max Brooks Zombie survival guide rockets in sales.

Joe Lunnon

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Ouisconsin, Racine- Necrotech in kidnapping Conspiracy with local police

Ouisconsin, Racine- Necrotech in kidnapping Conspiracy with local police

A source within the Oisconsin Mayoral office has witnessed the police collaborating with Necrotech in kidnapping people across the city, some undead, others alive. My source wishes to remain named for his own safety. Further reports will come soon.

Joseph Lunnon

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Ouisconsin, Madison- Sever Action against Undead threat

Ouisconsin, Madison- Sever Action against Undead threat

Military police have been mobilized in the city of Madison

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BREAKING NEWS: WRIGHT CITY UNDER SIEGE!

BREAKING NEWS: WRIGHT CITY UNDER SIEGE!

Wright City Police HQ and Hospital under siege from zombies, the buildings are completely surrounded.

 

More to follow

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State Police Intervene in Madison

State Police Intervene in Madison

After a large disturbance of the ‘Medically Impaired’ in the city of Madison, state police units have been scrambled to resolve the situation. From my vantage point in a helicopter over the city, the situation is widespread, however there is also a strong presence of state and city police working on the issue. In an Interview with the state governor he stated

” The extraordinary response of the Republican  administration of Mayor Bernandes of Madison shows how effective leadership can help cities overcome dire situations that other administrations may succumb to”

Representatives from Wright City have also spoken to Badger news stating that the situation in Madison is “a higher priority right now” and that their city emergency services would respond to the situation for the time being, leaving state forces to assist in Madison. I wonder how citizens of Green Bay feel about this?

Ouisconsin’s Head of State Police – Ready for action.

 

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Ouisconsin, Politics- Necrotec and President in talks

Ouisconsin, Politics- Necrotec and President in talks

In discussion with the Necrotec CEO he has commented that “I am close friends with the president and we are hoping to deal with this situation swiftly.” When questioned about an earlier comment that “this is a minor issue not worth concerning ourselves with.” He has re-evaluated his stance saying “the situation has developed rapidly within the last six hors.” Its good to see such swift action.

Joe Lunnon

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Ouisconsin, Madison City- Local forces collaborate with Governor to handle issue

Ouisconsin, Madison City- Local forces collaborate with Governor to handle issue

The Madison administration has successfully managed to quell the recent fires and deal with the recently undeparted with collaboration with the local police force in an effort mobilized by the Governor of the state of Ouisconsin. There have been zero casualties and all wounded have been mobilized to their local Hospitals.

Joe Lunnon

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Oinsconsin,loosconsin more like

Oinsconsin,loosconsin more like

At the dawn of another bright and beautiful day in our sweet state it seems the rosy tint is not so rosy. What appeared like another average day in our state has become quite the opposite. Hooliganism, Nefarious corporate deals, forces deployed on our streets and now reports of Zombies!! what is happening in our state?

It is yet to be known the full story and too early to know all the facts. what we do know is the state is mobilizing where mobilization can be made and the politicians Politicking where that can be done, same as any other day right?

Think again! Stay at home! Stay Safe!

 

We will bring you the news as the news breaks

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Ouiscnsin, Wright city- The dead walk on Wright city

Ouiscnsin, Wright city- The dead walk on Wright city

The mayor of Wright City  has personally lead the charge against what he describes as a “Zombie Horde” within the west city. He refuted comments abut these being the end times claiming that “this is just “One more challenge to be faced”. However one look at the situation room would have you questioning his seeming lack of concern.

Joe Lunnon

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Small Fire in State Badger HQ

Small Fire in State Badger HQ

We would like to assure readers that despite a small fire which caught  in our press headquarters, we are committed to the continued publication of timely news and will continue our work. A thank you also to the fire department for responding so rapidly to the fire.

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Mysterious ‘Impairment’ hits city

Mysterious ‘Impairment’ hits city

Representatives for Green Bay have today stated that the recent spat of violent behavior in their city is due to the “Medically impaired”. The cause and full symptoms are as yet unknown, but it has been proposed that a contaminant in the water, or excessive phone use may be the cause. Science has a way to go it seems.

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Ouisconsin, Racine- Riot at Sport event

Ouisconsin, Racine- Riot at Sport event

A riot has broken out at the Racine Cricket Tourney the Kindles. A Mayoral Official comments “We have deployed riot Police to the event… There have been no casualties so far”

Joe Lunnon

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Ouisconsin Stay at Home!!

Ouisconsin Stay at Home!!

Mayor of Medicine encourages citezens to remain in they’re homes. with fires popping up throughout Oinsconsin and no information on the source the officials are rightly in a panic, although there are spotted reports on casualties we have no concrete evidence at this time.

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Ouisconsin, Science- Are the Stars right?

Ouisconsin, Science- Are the Stars right?

Local astrology enthusiast Ann Loaf has been arrested for being a public nuisance. “The stars are right. Beware the end times for they be coming.” She shouted from her cell. The local retirement home called a disturbance and she was promptly arrested.

“The stars are all right, nothing out of the ordinary” quotes Dan Hambridge of the College of Minor Importance Technologies.

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Green Bay Quarterback reassures Ouisconsin

Green Bay Quarterback reassures Ouisconsin

A.A Ron

Excited Green Bay Fans

Six times Pro-bowl quarterback A.A. Ron today reassured fans that the ongoing undead apocalypse won’t affect the teams performance.  “I mean sure the crowd is a bit more bitey than usual” he told Badger news earlier today, “but we’ve always had (re)animated fans and I know that the guys will rally round and keep playing no matter what”.

Director of stadium security at Lambeau Field Brian Favre also wished to reassure Ouisconsin  football lovers.  “While a higher than average number of stadium goers were eaten during the first game of the season, we have moved quickly to address the situation” he stated at a press conference last night.  “Since we began stocking fresh brains at all concession stands things have improved significantly.  We are also looking at suspending the season ticket of any customer caught devouring a Packers supporter”.

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