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Results elections - Susquehannock Reporter C - 5:37 pm
Elected Fugitive+ Fighting, Kevin Letanche, Hero of Mercy Hospital!
2nd place: Chris de Bruijn
3rd place: Martijn van Beek and Andreas Huttig
State police results: Robert Bor
Mayor of Yarbrough: Chris de Bruijn
Chief police results of Yarbrough: Bram Hesselink
Chief of Emergency services of Yarbrough: Luke Doodeman (reelected)
Mayor of Allentown:Rob Koppendraier
Deputy Mayor of Allentown: Judith ‘t Horst
Chief police results of Allentown: Maarten Smit
Chief of Emergency services of Allentown: Harmen Leusink
Mayor of Erie: Jelmer Lok
Chief police results of Erie: Jeroen van Dijk
Chief of Emergency services of Erie: Jacob Boersma
Mayor of Pittsburgh:Johan Jans
Chief police results of Pittsburgh:Johan Jans
Chief of Emergency services of Pittsburgh: Friso Holtkamp
Mayor of Scranton: Oliver Brettschneider
Chief police results of Scranton: Frank Oderkerk
Chief of Emergency services of Scranton: Reinier Rutten
AAAAAAAnd GAME! - Badger News - 5:05 pm
Thank you so much for an amazing day!
Feel free to use the menu at the top to see the reports for each site – the All tab shows all the news published throughout the day, but please be aware that we’ve had over 600 stories posted so it may take a while to look through!
Massive thank you to the Press team for putting out so much amazing content, and the players for providing so much to report on!
Mega thanks to the Control Team, who I’m sure you’ll all agree did a stunning job to keep the game running smoothly and making sure we all had fun.
And THANK YOU to Jim Wallman for conceiving this crazy idea in the first place.
Presidential Candidates Chosen - Badger News - 5:01 pm
The Republican Presidential Candidate is Governor Osa of Mishigamaa, running with Hollman as VP.
The Democratic Presidential Candidate is Governor Crow of Kanawha.
We wish them both the best of luck in the election.
Northland offers unity with US - Susquehannock Reporter A - 4:57 pm
Northland offers to annex the United States to bring true unity in this time of crisis. “While America is in chaos, the North stands united. We could join together to make the Great White North.”
Northland stresses that this is an offer, not a takeover.
End of Game - Northland Editor - 4:56 pm
Despite all the zombies and fires in London, they were regaining control of the city. The mayor proudly fought on the front lines the entire game, killing zombies, civilians, putting out bad fires and starting good ones.
Niagara ended the game without ever reaching mass panic, in complete control of the city.
Northland effectively dealt with refugees with enormous camps in Toronto and Cornwall, and sent good reinforcements to Adirondack but never heard back. Our planes went North to shoot down the nuclear Russian bombers, but the game ended before we heard what happened.
Chief of State Police extorts votes! - Ahao Editor - 4:55 pm
FORTRESS CLEVELAND, AHAO:- News has come to light from the Dayton PD chief of operations, Alex Sanne, that Andrew Easton, chief of the state police of Ahao, has been holding influential citizens families hostage in order to garner votes towards his re-election. We are calling for an immediate investigation into this situation and if necessary for his election to be annulled.
Verbeek: “We should arrest the president on sight” - Susquehannock Reporter C - 4:52 pm
The canditate for presidencity, the governor Verbeek, has stated that the President must be detained. In light of the Ouississagua’s controversy, he reacted that arresting her should be priority. He has not contacted any other Governor states to discuss this matter.
Exclusive: Nutrivend statement on the cure - Mishigamaa Editor - 4:52 pm
Exclusive announcement from the CEO of Nutrivend.
“We are investigating two possible cures for the infection. Our first has proven ineffective – we tested it in a limited area in Romero City, but unfortunately effects were negative. We tested with full support of the Mayor.
“We are now working with the White House to release a healing agent which should reverse the effects of the infection. We are waiting for White House permission to test.”
Are cures being traded for votes? - Adirondack Political News - 4:51 pm
Rumours have reached the Badger News that in certain cities cures, are only being distributed to people in exchange for votes.
When questioned about this, however, authorities denied the practice and stress that cures are being distributed in function of the city’s requirements and the distribution possibilities.
Let’s hope this rumour is indeed false. This would otherwise be a new low.
Big Business Bombs Marquette - Mishigamaa Editor - 4:51 pm
A quick statement from a LexCorp representative say that they have developed a custom “Zombie Choke Bomb” over a large portion of Romero City, in conjunction with the National Guard.
What does this mean for Romero City, which was previously reporting a solid defence against the hordes? Is the state capital now overrun as well?
Cure distribution initiated - Powhatan Reporter A - 4:50 pm
Wagon and Lexcorp have merged and Governor Jon has gotten them to start distributing the cure to civilians. Hopefully all goes well from here.
Voter suppression in Ahao - Ahao - Naomi Young - 4:50 pm
AHAO: I can confirm that no differently animated citizens have been allowed to vote in Ahao. This is blatant voter suppression. The 15th Amendment clearly states that the right to vote cannot be denied for race or color. This is also clearly discrimination against Americans with disabilities. A differently animated source in Dayton confirmed this and said it was clear discrimination against the undead.
Wild Card candidate tipped to win - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 4:49 pm
Outrunner Candidate Cleatus Melaetus is tipped to win by a Laaaaaan’slaaaad after promising the electorate the Cleansing fire of retribution and a grilled cheese sandwich.
In other news the Mayor of Racine defo shagged a Zombie and it’s true because everyone says so, even Geoff on security. an he don’t say much
Evacuation started in Albany. Governor will stay behind? - Adirondack Editor - 4:48 pm
According to the latest information the City Council is evacuating from the State House towards a nearby refugee camp.
However it seems like the Governor will stay behind together with State Troops. According to the State Office the Governor wants to keep his word and protect the State House. The eact reason for this is unknown.
Presidential candidate Verbeek announces his program - Susquehannock Reporter A - 4:48 pm
Presidential candidate Verbeek, currently governor of Susquehannock, has announced his goals as president:
- Uniting and rebuilding the country after this crisis
- Reconstruction of infrastructure and healthcare
- Immediate help for refugees
- Strengthen the National Guard because they were proven not to be effective enough
He stresses he wants to work with all people from both parties to achieve this, in addition he wants an investigation into what exactly happened and the effectiveness of the White House during this crisis.
A-Holes on Fire - Ahao Editor - 4:47 pm
DAYTON, AHAO:- The offices used by the governor and his staff in Dayton, reported to be on fire. No reports of him leaving could it be that our esteemed governor is battling through fire and flame to escape? City EMS say that what units can be spared from other more important fires shall be sent to the blaze as soon as they become avilable.
Ouisconsin, Politics- Your next Governor - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 4:46 pm
There are two candidats running in this state:
Wright City Mayor Jonathan Durrant under the Democratic ticket and Rerunning this term is Governor Chris Gannon.
Durrant has managed to maintain the safety for the majority of his citizens despite constantly being on the edge however he has failed to fully recover from this incident. He claims that “Resolve, Determination and experience are required to deal with this threat”
Meanwhile Gannon has had to manage the situation at a larger scale, alhough hes had some mishaps such as the pushing of the Necrotec cure which was claimed as an acceptable loss considering what would have been lost otherwise. However he has been quoted on his presidential candidate saying that “it is taking the piss considering [Osa governed] the state where the infection started.”
Pentagon praises Toledo - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 4:46 pm
DAYTON, AH: Pentagon officials have said that the performance of Toledo’s emergency services are “admirable” when compared with those in other states.
The city has suffered no casualties among emergency personnel since the crisis began, and has hospital beds currently empty. One in three police officers have been slain, however.
Huntington Chief of Police to Endorse Bakerstown Chief of Police for Governor - Kanawha Editor - 4:43 pm
Huntington’s Chief of Police has abandoned all hope of retaking Huntington. The cure promised did not work, and his attention has instead turned to endorsing the Bakerstown Chief of Police. Officials have stated that they hope to one day find a cure, and restore their former home.
People of Shawnee: Deputy Mayor Milliken - Shawnee Editor - 4:43 pm
Deputy Milliken comes from humble beginnings. Daughter of a rock farmer and tarantula (separate people) she remembers her childhood fondly. Since becoming Deputy Mayor, she is proud to tell us she’s made fires worse, for the purpose of fighting zombies, and if that was her aim, then she was certainly successful
For more news, look out for Shawneee Social – Press you can be sure of
Alex Montrose and Hugo Lewkowicz
A new hope? FoG - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 4:42 pm
Clietus, Leader of Fists of God runs for Wright City Mayor, the group highly responsible for cleaning up the majority of Wright City runs for office.
With support growing at an unprecedented speed
Could this be the new world order?
Breaking News: Ahao State Police recommends city wide evacuation - Ahao, Susannah - 4:42 pm
The Head and Deputy Head of State Police have stated that they are recommending a complete evacuation of all the cities in the state. They say that the remainder of the state is safe and free of infestation, and they are bringing bottled water in to stop the spread of infection. They stress they have 100% efficiency when it comes to dealing with outbreaks of the virus outside of city limits.
Badger News wonders what the Governor thinks of this plan?
BREAKING: Cure success in Romero City - Mishigamaa Editor - 4:42 pm
The Mayor of Romero City is testing a cure in partnership with Nutrivend and early reports are indicating a success.
More to follow as this develops.
Northland troops arrive – attacking abandoned Albany - Adirondack Political News - 4:42 pm
Badger News has received the first reports that Northland troops have reached Albany’s city limits.
Strangely enough, they appear to be attacking the Ombie hordes in the city on their own, instead of focusing on getting people to safety.
When pressed for information, the Governor’s press agent indicated that they were unaware of the arrival of these troops.
BREAKING: Governor Oda claims Feds are refusing to release cure - Mishigamaa Editor - 4:42 pm
In an exclusive interview with Governor Oda, she claims that the Federal Government have the cure to the epidemic sweeping the nation, but are not intending to distribute it, despite the state of emergency.
All our hopes seem to now be pinned on the cure coming out from Nutrivend, trialled in Romero City and Marquette.
Cure in Huntington FAILS - Kanawha Reporter A - 4:41 pm
The alleged cure that was sent to Huntington to retake the city did nothing more than irritate the zombie hordes.
Rumours of ‘Cure’ Lethality - Wabash Editor - 4:41 pm
Some conflicting reports have both assured that the new cure for the zombie menace does its intended job, whilst others have labelled it as being lethal to living organisms.
This occurs as the President has launched ‘cure’ air strikes on the Wabash city of Gary. The Mayor of Gary, the leading candidate in the upcoming elections, confirms this to be the case, saying that the strikes are occurring without her permission.
Mayor Fighting For His Life - Powhatan Editor - 4:41 pm
Mayor David of Roanoke and Ben chief of emergency services have been injured by the Zombies but they escaped to the hospital and barricaded themselves in there fighting for their lives.
BREAKING NEWS: White House and Secretary of Defense Illegally Ordered Arrest of Mishigamaa Governor - National Reporter B - 4:40 pm
As previously reported, national media has learned of allegations that the DHS and the Pentagon told the Mishigamaa National Guard to arrest the Governor of Mishigamaa.
Since then, we have learned of far more disturbing developments.
In particular, the White House and the Secretary of Defense gave written orders for the Pentagon to coordinate with the Mishigamaa National Guard to illegally act in Mishigamaa.
According to our sources, it was the Pentagon (and not the Mishigamaa National Guard) that determined that such actions were illegal.
Given that there is written proof that the President gave authority for the Pentagon to act in Mishigamaa, it is now only a question of when (rather than if) the President and her Secretary of Defense are arrested and charge with high crimes and misdemeanours.
Breaking news: politicians evacuated from Yarbrough - Susquehannock Reporter C - 4:40 pm
The highest politicians located in Yarbrough have been evacuated from the city after the constant rise zombie threat. A vigilante group called the “Truth Crusaders” have been raiding the city hospital. As the mayor of Scranton was nearly killed by the vigilantes, it was decided to evacuate the officials.
Kittens saved - Susquehannock Reporter A - 4:39 pm
Last sunday morning the fire department of Allentown valiantly fought its way through a zombie horde to save some kittens that had fled into a tree, proving that they wish to save everyone, not just humans.
After this heroic rescue, the mayor of Allentown adopted the kittens.
Voters go to polls across Ahao. - Ahao Editor - 4:38 pm
FORTRESS CLEVELAND, AHAO:- With the Zombie menace still threatening the state, voters have gone to the polls in city and statewide elections. The early indications in the Gubernatorial race show the current Mayor of Cleveland, Lucinda Quinn is likely to be our next governor.
Advertisement: Mayor Buono Is The Right Choice - Kanawha Reporter A - 4:38 pm
Mayor Buono, despite being slammed from all sides by an undead menace, is attempting to cure his city and retake control. His strong leadership, along with the help of our Governor, may yet save Huntington. Kanawha needs a man who can work under pressure. Kanawha needs Mayor Buono for governor.
UPDATE – Insurrection by local police in Albany - Adirondack Editor - 4:38 pm
According to a statement from the newly appointed Chief of Police in Albany the “insurrection” is nothing more than a misunderstanding.
Badger News can only conclude it is still unclear who is really in charge in our State Capital and if the Governor is still acting in the people’s best interest?
Meanwhile the Governor, City Council and your Badger News reporters are still barricaded inside the State House.
Latest rumours say we will soon be evacuated…
Huntington being cured! - Kanawha Editor - 4:37 pm
As I write this, Huntington i sin the process of being cured! Officials from Huntington hope to retake control of the city, and return the citizens to their homes.
Ad: Kleveland Kremes – - Ahao - Naomi Young - 4:35 pm
Donut worry, sugary treats are the yeast of your problems now
Scientists from Yarbrough helping Eire - Susquehannock Reporter C - 4:34 pm
Research scientists from Yarbrough are providing additional manpower to the State’s capital.
Zombies are still registered voters - Iliniwek Sports - 4:34 pm
The mutated intelligent Zombies of Iliniwek are still registered voters and as such they cannot be refused access to the ballot box in what is turning out to be the remarkable election in history.
****Stop Press Corporal Ray Winsor (Ombie) is standing for Rockford Mayor***
Editor in Chief Runs for President! - Kanawha Editor - 4:32 pm
I, the Editor in Chief of the Kanawha Newspaper am running for President of the United States of America! I have been dutifully representing the voice of the people during this pressing weekend, and I have been the only voice of reason amidst all of this chaos. I hope you will consider giving me your support.
A-Whole: We’re both a-holes, get your facts right! - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 4:32 pm
Governor Hollman would like to clarify, contrary to earlier reports, that he and Governor Osa do not, in fact, cross party lines – they are both dyed-in-the-wool Republicans
Northland troops seen in North of Adirondack - Adirondack Editor - 4:31 pm
Locals in Plattsburgh and Saratoga Springs have reported the presence of Northland troops in their area, apparently moving towards the city of . However, Adirondack State Governor Tim Duerinck claims to have no news about the whereabouts of the Northland Army. There is still no clarity about the intentions of the Northland Army on our grounds.
Signout from Boyle City - Wabash Editor - 4:30 pm
A single broadcast came from Mercy City hospital- “Goodbye and good luck. This is Boyle City, signing off into the night”.
End of Crisis Presidential Bid? - Wabash Editor - 4:29 pm
In this time of political and humanitarian turmoil, the Governor of Wabash has announced a bid for the Republican Presidential Nomination, with the Vice-Governor acting as his running mate.
It appears that despite their illegal arrest scandals, and subsequent exoneration by the President, that the pair believe they have produced a strong response to the Wabashian Crisis and hope to come out the end of this with whatever mandate they can achieve.
The actions of the President have shown faith in the pair, and this support should bolster their bid. The Bloodhound will wait and see.
Zombie cure? - National Editor - 4:29 pm
Nutrivend claims to have discovered a cure and will be testing it shortly in the city of Marquette; results to be announced shortly.
DHS and Pentagon Illegally Ordered Arrest of Mishigamaa Governor - National Reporter B - 4:27 pm
The national media has learned that the DHS and the Pentagon previously told the National Guard of Mishigamaa to arrest the Governor of Misghigamaa. DHS and the Pentagon attempted to convince the National Guard that the Governor was unstable and not fit to govern.
The National Guard subsequently determined that such orders were both illegal and immoral. They consequently refused to comply with such order.
It is unclear at this time whether the order was due to the fact that the Mishigamaa Governor is currently running for president and does not appear to be favored by the White House.
This leads to the question of whether the White House has taken advantage of the crisis to further its own political agenda over the well being of American citizens.
Death crusade for Kenosha Police - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 4:25 pm
The Kenoshan police have set off on a certain death crusade of vengeance through Racine and Wright city. These desperate men have vowed to sell their lives dearly and take as many deadies as they can from this world to the next. This doomed party look as though they face their deaths fighting a path to the hospital, many souls are gathered there as they fight hand in hand with the fist of God militia
Ombie hordes cured – Politicians fighting to claim prize - Adirondack Editor - 4:25 pm
2 Ombie-infected hordes have effectively been cured in the city of New Amsterdam. The cure is currently being deployed by helicopters.
Meanwhile, the governor and the city mayor are fighting to take on the honor of developing this cure. There is hereby no clarity about who is responsible for the development of the cure and it might as well have been developed in another state or by another company.
Anyhow, most importantly: THERE IS A CURE!
Sadly, politicians still seem to be more concerned with their image than with curing their people.
Ordered evacuation in Scranton - Susquehannock Reporter E - 4:25 pm
Scranton, which has been holding up valiantly under Mayor Andreas Hüttig is now clearing a corridor to Allentown with the help of the national guard. From here civilians will be evacuated to the national guard base in Harrisburg.
Sad Note – Badger News Albany offices demolished - Adirondack Political News - 4:24 pm
Word has reached us that our Albany offices have been demolished in the past hours.
It is a sad day for free press when the base of your operations has been demolished.
However, we keep on reporting from another location and we have every confidence that our proud nation will overcome this crisis.
Endorsements Between Governor Crow and Chief Ruparel - Kanawha Editor - 4:24 pm
The current governor of Kanawha is endorsing Chief of Police from Bakerstown Shy Ruparel to take his place when he moves on to the presidency. The chief is in turn endorsing Crow’s bid for the presidency.
BREAKING NEWS - Iliniwek Sports - 4:24 pm
THE STATE GOVENER IS GOING INTO RETIREMENT
Cure being mass produced by NecroTec in Ouisconsin - Susquehannock Reporter D - 4:23 pm
As we speak, samples of the cure are on its way to NecroTec, Ouisconsin to be mass produced. The states of Adirondack and Wabash are mass creating the delivery systems to be used by the states of Adirondack, Wabash and Susquehannock, who has been delivering the cure.
Helicopters provided by another state, but under the control of the governor of Susquehannock are transporting the delivery system. The delivery system will be filled with the mass-produced cure at the NecroTec factory in Ouisconsin, after which they will fly back to Susquehannock for distribution. Adirondack and Wabash will retrieve their filled delivery systems in a similar way.
Governor Verbeek: “we need stronger leadership” - Susquehannock Reporter A - 4:23 pm
In an exclusive interview with our reporter Tapia Jr governor Verbeek reaffirmed that he wants to be running for president. “In these dire moments, we need stronger leadership”.
Governor Tim Denmink of Adirondack state has pledged his support of governor Verbeek of Susquehannock. He will be joining the campaign as vice-presidential candidate.
“Kill them all”, says Mishigamaa governor - Mishigamaa Editor - 4:23 pm
Following her last press statement, the governor of Mishigamaa has confirmed that she will call in federal forces to deal with the outbreak, either to cure, or to kill every single infected person if not.
“I’m doing it for the country”, she said when questioned about her motives as she declared a State of Emergency. It has been noted that state Mayors have been asking her to do so for several days. Is she finally giving into their demands?
The Governor has also announced that she is running as a Vice Presidential Republican candidate.
The Vice Governor has endorsed the Fists of Jebus working with the State Police, and has officially made their leader a Police Deputy.
In other news, fires are spreading out of control in Grand Rapids, and Bay City has formerly requested the state to firebomb the entire city, as it is now lost to the hordes.
BREAKING: Frightening evidence of zombie conspiracy - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 4:22 pm
Posted through our letter box from a trusted and respected source, an admission of guilt maybe from the Mayor of Racine.
Big Pharma, Big Prices – A cure – but at what cost? - Ahao - Naomi Young - 4:19 pm
The white-house liaison has confirmed that corporations in other states have been asking for zombie samples, but that they are offering nothing in return. She stated her worries about the price of any cure, that it may be vastly inflated. She also confirmed there was no governmental research going on, that the only research was the pharma corporations, so it seems that people will literally have no choice but to pay whatever the companies are asking for.
Breaking: Russian military over Northland - Northland Editor - 4:18 pm
Russian military planes have been spotted north of Northland. The Prime Minister has sent air forces to meet them as a precautionary measure to issue a warning. More as this develops.
State Police Issue Emergency Services to Several Cities Across the State - Kanawha Editor - 4:18 pm
The Chief of State Police says that emergency services have been successfully deployed in Parksburg and Bakerstown. The fall of Huntington has caused significant tax stress on the people of Kanawha, but the State Police are confident we can make it through.
Correction to Presidential nominees - National Editor - 4:17 pm
Governor Hollman is the VP nominee and Governor Osa is the Presidential candidate
Rob Returns to Reinforce - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 4:17 pm
FORTRESS CLEVELAND, AH: Chief of Police Rob Pate made a triumphant return to the city today, delivering a helicopter to airlift injured citizens to the city’s hospital.
Reports that the helicopter had Cleveland EMS livery despite coming in from Fresno were dismissed by the Head of Police Operations
voting - Iliniwek Sports - 4:16 pm
voting is getting heated people are becoming more and more corrupt they are showing theire true colours make sure you vote for who you want to be in power
Editorial – Politics, really? - Adirondack Political News - 4:16 pm
In the past hours, Badger News has received a press statement from Governor Deurinck that he intends to run as vice-president to our neighbouring state’s Governor, Mr. Verbeek.
Really, this is what he has been doing these past days? Wondering who he should run with for the preliminaries?
As already highlighted in our previous editorial, one can only wonder what the people in charge are thinking. They are putting their own personal ambitions ahead of the safety of the people.
This can clearly not continue like this. We strongly urge our leaders to look deep and hard within themselves and come to their senses.
Badger News will not spend any more ink on the political ambitions of our leaders as long as the crisis is not solved.
We strongly urge our leaders to come to their senses and get their priorities right!
Things looking up - Powhatan Editor - 4:16 pm
In the state of Powhatan thing are beginning to look up on the streets and road they have eliminated all zombie and in the city level one city is completely clear of zombies and the other though they look bad a great tactic is being used by the national guard to clear them out. The response time for the emergency service may be slow but Ben and Michaele the head of emergency services are doing their best.
BREAKING – Insurrection by Local Police in Albany?! - Adirondack Editor - 4:15 pm
Reports tell us that local police forces have tried to capture the Governor. National guard troops have interfered and taken the chief of police captive! More info soon…
Mishigamaa State Governor claims Feds have The Cure! - Mishigamaa Editor - 4:14 pm
Following reports that the Mishigamaa State Governor had been taken into custody by the National Guard under orders from the Pentagon, it’s not been revealed that she has been released after a successful legal battle.
She claims that the Federal Government have the cure to the outbreak, and will release it to the state once a State of Emergency is declared, which she will do promtly in a press release to follow.
Fresnadillo Mayor rescinds help to Cleveland - Ahao Editor - 4:14 pm
FORTRESS CLEVELAND, AHAO:- Reports are coming in that in a blatently partisan move the Democratic Mayor of Fresnadillo has pulled out all of the forces helping battle the hordes in Republican controlled Cleveland. Sources in the mayorial office say this is to save face within the Democratic party.
This is in spite of the fact that Federal troops have arrived in Fresnadillo to help fight the horde there and slow progress is being made against the attack from the north.
Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? - National Reporter A - 4:13 pm
It has emerged that the big four pharmas are hoping to put their heads and resources together to develop a single cure for the ongoing phenomenon.
Bay City has now also appealed to the White House for help to bomb the city in light of the ombie overrun.
However, neither the pharmas nor Bay City have heard any responses from the White House.
Perhaps everyone at the White House have now taken to relaxing at the golf course whilst planning for the 4th July celebrations?
Cleveland call for State-wide Cure Cooperation - Ahao - Naomi Young - 4:13 pm
The Mayor of Cleveland has issued a statement that they have found a a pathogen in a dead zombie “Pittorovirus Sibericum B Sample” and are calling for state-wide cooperation in order to move forward and find a cure, especially in light of the news about Big Pharma not sharing any cure expect at vastly inflated prices.
It seems like Ahao is on its own as Dayton quoted the White-House Liaison as saying “We do not want to help”.
NA university finds cure to Ombie virus - Adirondack Editor - 4:12 pm
The University of New Amsterdam, supported by the state and the city of New Amsterdam, has found a cure to the widespread Ombie virus, thus claims New Amsterdam mayor Elina Gouliou. It is being deployed in the city at this very moment and production is continued in order to distribute the cure to other infected areas. Hopes are that the Ombie outbreak can finally be contained and resolved.
In Its Hour of Panic White House Hides from Press and Public - National Reporter B - 4:12 pm
In the midst of an ongoing crisis where transparent leadership from the White House is more important than ever, the President and her support staff have become increasingly paranoid about the role of the press. On numerous occasions when asked for comment on various aspects of the situation, the President has stated either, “No comment” or “We are dealing with it” with no further explanation.
The unwillingness of this administration to inform the public what is being done to stem the tide of bloodshed and chaos is a cause for grave concern. This great country has always depended in significant part on the role of a free press to inform the public and keep tyranny in check. This is the why our Founding Fathers enshrined the rights of a free press in the First Amendment. For as long as the White House continues to refuse to provide substantive comment and input to the press, it is clear that the administration values its political reputation more than the most important values of our nation.
Firefighters Hold Desperate last stand in Kenosha - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 4:11 pm
The heroic fire service of Kinosha continues to hold a final stand against unwinnable odds in the crumbling city. These bold men and women of the fire service continue to fight for their community even after the police and politicians have abandoned them. Shame on all others who were supposed to protect this city, for letting this city along with another Badger News office fall to ruin.
Republican contender - National Editor - 4:11 pm
News just in that the Mayor of Marquette is in the race as the Republican candidate for the Presidential election
Last Stand of Madison - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 4:11 pm
As a last ditch attempt the brave and ever charismatic Mayor Bernardis of Madison is making a personal last stand alongside the police and emergency services. Despite the many attempts to drum up support from both the local cities and the government those attempts have unfortunately failed and as Madison have been abandoned Bernardis is taking it into his own hands and prepares to launch the “cure” himself.
Change of Tactics in Burning Remains of London - Northland Editor - 4:10 pm
A statement from the mayor of London following announcement of a cure to restore zombies to regular humans: “We will be using the cure to its full effect as soon as possible. We will be continuing to use military and police action only to restrain and prevent more outbreak, police are using as much restraint as possible.”
When asked if this change in tactics was due to a firetruck filled with gasoline exploding in a suburban area, the mayor said “Of course not. That was part of the plan.” The mayor was now wearing a tie again, but had not put on a shirt or cleaned the ash and warpaint from his body.
Mishigamaa Badger News office overrun - Mishigamaa Editor - 4:09 pm
From our lead reporter:
“So we just managed to escape. I was in the middle of a review of Mishigamaa’s premier sushi restaurant when I heard the ever present moans of the walking dead increase and ascend the stairs to our third floor office. Luckily the fire doors delayed the horde long enough for us to escape down the rear exit and into my Editor in Chiefs very expensive four by four. My very well payed Chief then whisked us away to his forest retreat from which we will continue to report events.”
Spearing Chief of Police deserts - Mishigamaa Editor - 4:09 pm
The Chief of Police for Spearing has joined the Free Militia that has held him captive. He is apparently suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and has relinquished his duties for Spearing Police.
Real estate prices set to crash - Iliniwek Sports - 4:09 pm
Financial planning advisor are warning that property prices are set to crash as zombification has upset demand for new homes. “It really will be a buyers market out there, with only the most secure cabins in the woods holding their value.” said Analyst Rudy Crispini.
The new economy is expected to be dominated by localised barter systems. “Sales of size C batterys have been incredible” said Ash Williams, Retail clerk at S-mart.
Ouisconsin, Greenbay- 17 die in Initial test of Necrotec cure - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 4:08 pm
The National Gaurds deployment of their cure has proven fatal. Although the infected in the area were cure an unforeseen Biohazardous effect killed them after being cured. A total of 17 casualties have been declared.
Necrotec commented “The attack was pressed forward due to the unredeemable nature of the target location. The Biohazard effect was an unforeseen side effect that given more time to test could have been dealt with. We are confident that the Dart Delivery system we are producing will not have these unfortunate effects.”
It is particularly notable that this test was pushed forward by the Governor of Ouisconsin despite concerns from congress and locals. However he is “condemning [Necrotec] for lying about the situation.”
Massive Political Corruption - Parker Biro Wabash - 4:07 pm
Media involvement in political corruption… Any honest reporters left?
Huntington Prepares to Retake the City - Kanawha Editor - 4:07 pm
Officials from Huntington have told our office that they are preparing to take back their city from the zombie hordes. Only time will tell if the plan will work.
Presidential hopefuls - National Editor - 4:07 pm
It has just been announced that Governor Hollman has added Governor Osa as Vice President on his ticket for the Presidential race
Necrotech offices overrun, Badger reporter Tapia dead - Susquehannock Reporter A - 4:07 pm
We are sad to announce that our reporter Tapia has died in the line of duty. He was reporting about the offices of Necrotech in Yarbrough because they seemed to be deserted when we lost contact with him.
Later we got a report that the Necrotech offices had been overrun by zombies. It has now been confirmed that our reporter was one of the casualties.
Route to Savini Palace - Powhatan Editor - 4:06 pm
Charlottes Ville is working hard to create routes for Refugees from cities like Washington DC can travel through their city Savini Palace though it may appear to be dangerous it is safe if you go through the designated path. Charlottes Ville is also working on fire weapons to fight off the zombies because they seem particularly weak to it.
A-Whole Backs An Osa - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 4:06 pm
Governor Hollman today announced that he has crossed party lines to stand with Governor Osa as Veep in her bid to become the Democratic nominee for President.
Police Chief Nominations - Ahao, Susannah - 4:06 pm
Below is a list of candidates for the upcoming Election for Police Chief.
- Alex from Dayton. Nominated by Dayton City Mayor
- Andrew Easten, current Chief of State Police. Nominated by Deputy Chief of State Police
Free pizza! - Adirondack Political News - 4:04 pm
The New Amsterdam mayor has communicated to Badger Press that there is free pizza at the New Amsterdam City hospital.
“Now is No Time For Politics” - Kanawha Reporter A - 4:03 pm
Bakerstown Mayor Alex Nagler and Chief of Bakerstown police Shy Ruparel have issued a bipartisan statement that we must cross party lines and work together in this time of crisis.
Breaking news: Lexcorp says “NO”, new company for mass production needed! - Susquehannock Reporter D - 4:03 pm
LexCorp has just stopped with the production of the cure for unknown reasons.
The chief of Emergency services of Yarbrough is looking for one or more large pharmaceutical companies to mass produce the cure.
The scientists of Yarbrough can only produce the cure in small quantities, but they already do have the means of delivering the cure.
Update: NecroTec is able and willing to mass produce the cure!
Governor Crow is Running for President! - Kanawha Editor - 4:03 pm
Governor Crow is running for president. With his 10 years of experience and a masters degree in Intelligence studies believes that he is extremely experienced in navigating . When talking about how he has dealt with this outbreak by declaring a state of emergency immediately. The second move made by the Governor was to reestablish trust and loyalty between himself and the mayors. Using extreme wit and experience for his time serving in The USMC the Governor lead himself and his cabinet to safety. In an interview the governor stated that he believes that he owes his coal mining father for teaching him all the lessons that he applies in day to day life.
Updates of the state of Susquehannock - Susquehannock Reporter E - 4:01 pm
- Necrotech HQ is overrun
- Yarbrough hospital overrun
- Yarbrough is blowing up bridges
- Yarbrough is ungovernable due to a shorage of police. There is now exactly one SWAT member
- Yarbrough is in a state of mass panick
- clearing a passage to Allentown for evacuation
- new Capital
- confiscated Lexcorp property
Yarborough Emergency department found a cure! - Susquehannock Reporter A - 4:01 pm
The deputy chief of the Yarborough emergency department announced that they have found a cure. They captured zombies, isolated the virus from them and developed a antidote. It has been tested now, and it is proven to be able to turn zombies back into humans.
The Scranton mayor Hüttig announced they have found a way to mass-produce this cure. Yarbrough works with the military and the scientists in the city to deliver this to the production facility.
Cure Here - Powhatan Editor - 4:01 pm
The department of Homeland Security have found a type of aerosol cure which the will soon be spreading en masse to the populace currently they are trying to obtain all crop dusting planes so they can more easily spread this cure. Two large corporations Necro tech and Neutrovin have also created a type of that are in testing.
Erie new state capital of Susquehannock - Susquehannock Reporter E - 4:00 pm
After the fall of Allentown the Governor declears Erie the new state capital of Susquehannock. “Erie, the only town that has not needed state intervention is happy with this honor” says Mayor Martijn van Beek
Governor Nominations - Ahao, Susannah - 4:00 pm
Below is a list of candidates for the upcoming Election for State Govenor.
- Lucy from Cleveland. Republican. Nominated by Holly and Josh
- Georgia from Fresnadillo. Democrat. Nominated by Andy and Daniel
- Holly from Dayton. Democrat. Nominated by Alex and Chris
- Alasdair, Lieutenant Governor. Republican. Nominated by James and Peter
- Kype from Cincinatti. Republican. Nominated by Dan and Seumas
Safe zone in Fresnadillo under threat - Ahao - Naomi Young - 3:59 pm
FRESNADILLO, AHAO: The safe zone in Fresnadillo is under threat as much needed supplies are stuck in zombie-infested Cleveland. The mayor said that without this support it would be ‘unlikely’ that the safe zone would be constructed in time, as the police were severely stretched and would not be able to patrol the wall. They have decline an offer of an Air-strike from the Pentagon as they do not want to risk human life.
Goblins From Space? - Kanawha Editor - 3:58 pm
The Bakerstown Militia has come to us and claimed that “The entire Bakerstown Police Department is Goblins. From Space.” We do not know what this means, and we don’t think they do either.
Breaking News: Military Coup! - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:57 pm
News just in that the State Governor is being held against her will by the National guard at their base.
This follows a difficult time for the governor as she was confronted by her city Mayors in a heated meeting. However this worrying development suggests a military coup rather than political intriguing. Doe the National guard intend to take over?
The Marquette City Mayor (presumptive Republican candidate from the state) comments that the state having no active government makes little difference!
Bakerstown Mayor Bids for Presidency - Kanawha Reporter A - 3:56 pm
Mayor Alex Nagler of Bakerstown plans to run for president when he finishes clearing the current menace out of his beloved city. He claims that his tours in Iraq and Afghanistan give him the command experience and the credibility needed for this role.
Badger news office in Romero overrun - National Editor - 3:56 pm
News just in that our offices in Romero have been overrun by the ‘Alternatively Animated’, and we hope again that our brave colleagues have been safely by the security forces.
Stewart Air Base overrun - Adirondack Political News - 3:56 pm
The Stewart military air base near Albany has been overrun by Ombie hordes.
Sources within the military tell us that insufficient defences where left at the base and that an overrun was inevitable.
Evacuated Albanians keeping spirit up high during hospital party - Adirondack Editor - 3:55 pm
Recently, all inhabitants (including the Badger News redaction) of Albany have been evacuated to the city’s hospital. However they are keeping their hopes and spirit up high and threw a hospital party for all the patients and evacuated.
The mayor and other city officials were present as well.
Weygand and LexCorp to merge - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:54 pm
Weygand and LexCorp to merge, says Bay City official, after talks managed by the Mishigamaa State Governor.
More to follow…
Roanoke recovering - Powhatan Editor - 3:53 pm
The situation in Roanoke is starting to be contained and resolved mayor David Ellis has pledged immediate funds to create safe shelters and long term funding for the rebuilding and recovery effort. Even this will pass.
Homeland Security: We Have a Cure – Distribution by either Aerosol or Dart - National Reporter B - 3:53 pm
Homeland Security has informed national media that they have developed a cure and have developed two delivery methods: aerosol and darts. They are currently in the process of determining which method to use. While the national media welcomes this news, it is intriguing that numerous state and local governments appear to have developed a cure before the federal government. Perhaps the federal government’s prior preoccupation with nuclear weaponry, which has been confirmed through confidential sources despite protestations to the contrary from the White House, was the cause of the federal government’s lackadaisical behavior.
Badger News Site Hits New Record - Badger News - 3:52 pm
Whether it’s election fever or the zombie virus, this weekend has seen the most activity since the site was originally launched – over 500 articles published since Friday evening!
The most prolific news team seems to be the Ahao office, with over 80 stories published in the past few days alone. Special commendation to the Mishigamaa Editor, who has been nominated for a Badger of Honour after publishing 41 articles from his desk alone.
Are Northland troops coming? - Adirondack Political News - 3:52 pm
Governor Deurinck has issued a statement to Badger News stating that Northland troops are preparing to enter Adirondack territory.
Badger News is trying to confirm the news with the White House.
Wabash Overrun - Wabash Editor - 3:52 pm
The state of Wabash has been completely overrun.
The Bloodhound will be evacuating, and advise all remaining residents to seek refuge in Ahao following an offer of sanctuary from the city of Fresnadillo. All roads south the Shawnee are still open.
And amidst this our politicians seek to maintain to claw what little power there is remaining into their own rapacious hands. This reporter is reminded of the Year of Four Emperors in Ancient Rome, in AD 69, with civil war being the hobby of the political classes when all others wanted stability, and an end to the braying of the avaricious.
As we said, flee the state, seek safety.
Why Armed Forces took so long - Powhatan Editor - 3:51 pm
The armed forces have been a great since they arrived taking down the zombies but a lot of needless destruction could have been avoided if they came sooner but what took them so long part of it was because Governor Jon took a while to declare a state of emergency. That’s not all of it that was probably on half after they were called it still took a good were they caught up somewhere or is there a more sinister reason
Govenor Chris Gamon “Your children will thank you” as a Potential Cure is Deployed - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 3:51 pm
The governor gave a rousing speech encouraging the use of a potential cure, despite federal instruction not to deploy. The speech, which was a call back to American independence stirred the hearts of many. Calling representatives to “Obey the distant whims of an uncaring elite … or do the right thing” , this emotive display ended with a stark, but clear message ” You may struggle to sleep at night after [making this choice] . Your children will, however, thank you.”
Governor Doesn’t Think Vice Governor is “Central Personnel” - Kanawha Editor - 3:51 pm
In a statement about the coup today, the Governor announced that no “central personnel” were harmed, or even in danger at any time. Dispte this, our office has heard directly from the Vice Governor that she was locked in a fierce battle with the invaders, though she managed to personally fight them off. It remains unseen whether she will run with him for reelection, or if she will back a new candidate in light of this gross oversight.
Keeping Flint Safe - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:50 pm
Police in Spearing are doing an excellent job of protecting the beautiful small town of Flint and keeping it free from zombies. The Police in Flint have kept mass panic down and are using advanced policing tactics in order to contain the outbreaks and keep people safe. Well done Spearing Police Dept!
STATE GOVERNOR TO UNDERGO INVESTIGATION - Ahao, Susannah - 3:50 pm
The Mayor of Fresnadillo has decided to launch an investigation into the State Governor, supported by heads of Cincinatti. This is due to widespread rumours of corruption, and the previously reported rumoured assassination plot.
Romero, Romero – Wherefore Art Though, Romero? - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 3:49 pm
ROMERO CITY, MI: Officials complain that current governor is in talks with corporations, and refusing to discuss the crisis with mayors. “Just because I declare myself the queen doesn’t mean it’s going to happen”, she said, referring to the Romero City Mayor’s statement declaring himself Interim Governor.
Mishigamaa state officials declare they have put out an arrest warrant for Romero City’s Mayor in response.
Let us hope that this disruption does not lead to increased spill-over from our neighbours.
Breaking news: Cure ready for delivery - Susquehannock Reporter D - 3:49 pm
The governors of Susquehannock and Adirondack and the mayors of Wabash have managed to bring the cure of Lexcorp together with the delivery system of the National Guard. As soon as these parties have physically met, the delivery of the cure will start.
State Fortress in Findlay - Ahao - Naomi Young - 3:47 pm
FINDLAY, AHAO: We have been told of a ‘ring of steel’ being erected around Findlay, large numbers of police and a helicopter have been sighted inside the compound, and we have good evidence that they have been evacuating families of state officials into the compound.
We have also received information that the State police are investigating the Mayor of Fresnadillo, is this evidence an issue with her or just further evidence of state resources being used by the governor for his own purposes.
BREAKING: DO WE KNOW THE CAUSE OF THE CURSE? - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 3:46 pm
During the day our reporters at Badger News have been working tirelessly to bring you the news and updates as they have been happening.
Although we have been under the cosh with constant information coming in and the pull of different political powers to get they’re message out we have also been investigating the situation in order to try and report the truth and any other questions of authority involvement.
We have been quite open in our support for the political leaders as they struggle to get a grip of they’re individual cities, the Police and the Emergency Services have our highest praise for limiting the body count within our great State.
But one thing just doesnt taste right….
The Mayor of Racine has been the star of the show today remaining calm under the pressure, maybe too calm? the emergency Racine faced was very different from the emergency every other city faced and as the other cities burned to the ground the Mayor of Racine began his plot to overthrow the Mayor of Kenosha. Plot maybe a bit strong? lets face it, Kenosha was handed to him. it seems the outbreak has benefited some people?
As others crumble Racine are throwing parties and celebrations.
Maybe they were never in danger?
CEO of the Necrotech made a public statement celebrating the collaboration of the Mayor and Racine city.
Would it not be in Necrotechs interest to protect Racine, especially as Racine is the location and home of theyre forefront research facility.
We have also heard from good sources Necrotech senior officials being evacuated from neighboring cities well before the outbreak had even taken hold, before there was ever a sniff of a problem.
Was this whole thing, this disaster a test? a power grab?
Who is the most likely to run this state beyond this disaster than the unflappable James Wiggins?
All we know as of now is that Necrotech and Racine have a lot of questions to answer.
State Savior Defeats Militia - Kanawha Reporter A - 3:45 pm
During the attempted coup by Bakersfield militia, heroic action was taken by Vice Governor Christine Dong. While held captive by violent militia members, Dong wrestled a weapon away from her attackers and severely injured several high ranking militia members, effectively ending the coup.
Mayor of Grand Rapids stranded in Spearing after helicopter crash - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:45 pm
News just come in that the Mayor of Grand Rapids has been stranded in the overrun Spearing City his personal helicopter crashed in the plaza mall on route to meet the State Governor and demand she resign.
Best of luck to the Mayor in fighting his way out the city.
Reports say that he left the Deputy Mayor defending the city with her own special forces, after he withdrew police protection from major areas of the city. The Deputy Mayor gave a rousing speech to rally those still defending the city.
Donut Factory Saved - Ahao Editor - 3:44 pm
FORTRESS CLEVELAND. AHAO:- The long running battle over the Cleveland city donut factory has finally ended, the so called “invincible” horde has been defeated by a combination of Ahao National Guard, US Army and state police forces. The addition of artillery has final brought the battle to an end. A spokesman for the Cleveland City mayor has stated they hope to have the factory up and running as soon as possible.
In other news the BNC offices in Cleveland seem to attracted a group of zombies, we continue to report for as long as we can and can only put our faith in the heroic defenders of the city to come to our rescue.
Badger news office in Marquette overrun - National Editor - 3:44 pm
News just in that our offices in Marquette have been overrun by the ‘Alternatively Animated’.
Our thought and prayers go out to our brave colleagues and hope that the security forces are able to protect them from harm.
Mayor of Parkersburg calls out Kanawha Governor - Kanawha Editor - 3:43 pm
From Cindy Simon’s twitter: “In times of chaos, we remain steadfast in control. Wish we could say the same for our ‘Zovernor'”. It is clear that the people of Parksburg do not trust the state government. Perhaps they have something right in all of this. They seem to be the only city not overrun with the undead.
Susquehannock military liaison has been arrested for high treason - Susquehannock Reporter A - 3:43 pm
The department of Homeland Security has arrested the military liaison of the governor of Susquehannock. Military liaison Rombouts is accused of high treason because he asked the Pentagon liaison to “join his revolution”. Reportedly he also didn’t follow orders before this.
Before his arrest, reporter Tapia of Badger News managed to meet with liaison Rombouts. Asked for a reaction, he declared that he was not talking to the federals anymore because he felt he was being ignored, manipulated and mistreated by the government, so he wanted to do things on his own.
Update: Military liaison Rombouts has escaped from custody! This may have been an inside job.
White House State Liaison rescued by special forces - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:43 pm
Following our earlier story about a White House official risking kidnap to meet with a terrorist militia group, we have had a source from the Pentagon confirm that he was in fact kidnapped, but promptly rescued by special forces within hours.
Operation 1812 – Help is Here - Northland Editor - 3:41 pm
Northland has finally gotten troops passed the border into Adirondack. “In response to the Whitehouse, we have sent three companies of strikers under control of the pentagon to help with the crisis.”
When asked about the fires in Sarnia, visible for miles around, the PM said “Our emergency crews are working to control the situation.”
NA sends burning oil tankers towards Ombies - Adirondack Editor - 3:40 pm
New Amsterdam has got a new tactic in their fight against the Ombies: setting boats full of oil on fire and sending them towards Ombie infested areas.
Who ever said oil wouldn’t save the world?
White House: 4th of July Party Still Planned Despite Mass Casualties and Panic - National Reporter B - 3:39 pm
Despite massive casualties across the country, numerous states of emergency declared, bombing of American cities by US federal forces, and unprecedented panic, the White House continues to plan to go forward with its 4th of July picnic. It is unclear if the White House will learn that the lives of its citizens takes precedence over hot dogs and burgers.
Savini Palace Place of Refuge - Powhatan Editor - 3:39 pm
Mayor Mike is declaring Savini palace a place of refuge where people whose cities have been destroyed can go so they stay safe. Savini Palace has been cleared utterly of zombies and has had no deaths. Jon and Mike have made a good joint effort on this with Jon clearing the roadways so refugees can come
State Governor Denies Cinncinatti Conspiracy - Ahao, Susannah - 3:39 pm
Ahao State Governor, Mickey Hollman, has stated he has nothing to do with the previously reported on plot to assassinate the Mayor of Cincinatti, saying there is no-one in his office with the name of the person the leak supposedly came from. He stresses he is utterly against this kind of thing.
Badger News will keep digging.
Daring Escape from Green Bay - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 3:37 pm
After a zombie hoard overran our office in Green Bay, this daring reporter made a swift and courageous exit from the city. I would like to ask other city officials to take better care of our offices going forward, and we will be seeking damages in the future if and when this crisis is resolved.
We Don’t Care About Politics — The “Al Quaeda of Bakerstown” Speaks Out - Kanawha Editor - 3:36 pm
The leaders of the recent coup in Bakerstown have spoken to us. They believe that their disassociation with politics makes them more suitable to run the state. In their attack on the State House, chaos has spread across the state. News is flooding into our office from all corners of the state, and the situation is rapidly getting out of hand.
Mass panic across Mishigamaa - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:35 pm
Following the mayoral confrontation with the state governor, there are reports of mass panic and riots across the entire state, with some reports claiming that the National Guard are beginning to desert their units to return home to protect their families.
The governor stonewalled the mayors’ demands and has refused to step down or declare a State of Emergency.
– Romero: Still defended, but situation is deteriorating. May re-instate emergency declaration. Rebuilding field hospitals and fortified base of operations with LexCorp. Mayor now declared “Interim State Governor”, and will attempt to run defence of state from there.
– Spearing: Police Chief captured by Free Militia. Militia demands federal response to save city and admit responsibility, or will execuse him. Deputy Mayor Hunt is running for Mayor, and declares Spearing one of the last safe bastions against the outbreak.
– Grand Rapids: Mass panic, Nutrivend CEO staying in secure facility to work on cure. Chief of Police has been infected. Mayor intends to force governor to declare State of Emergency.
– Bay City: Quarantined and overrun. Federal drones bombing infrastructure to strong infestation spreading. City of Police condemns Mayor for failing to coordinate City Evacuation, instead working for political gain. Police Chief declares intent to run for Mayor.
– Marquette: Fully infested by the outbreak. No news on additional funding bid.
First refugee camp up and running - Adirondack Political News - 3:35 pm
Badger News was informed that the first of the refugee camps is fully operational.
Built by the army near the National Guard base in Syracuse, the huge refugee camp is ready to receive the refugees coming from Albany.
Nutrivend Sends Dangerous Research Specimens to Shawnee News Office - National Editor - 3:35 pm
In an act of incredible ineptitude, Nutrivend has sent dangerous research specimens to the Shawnee News Office, unnecessarily endangering the lives of our colleagues and setting back future research efforts.
BREAKING: MASS PANIC SPREADS ACROSS STATES - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 3:34 pm
Widespread chaos and panic has reportedly taken hold across the states of Adirondack and Mishigamaa, according to Badger sources on the ground.
And they said moving to Adaho was a mistake!
Cure Found in Wiederhorn - Shawnee Editor - 3:34 pm
Once again, the brave citizens of Shawnee have proven the fortitude, as our Governor Firefly proudly announced today that a cure has been discovered in Wiederhorn. As we speak, federal forces are being mobilised to help spread this cure and assist our less lucky state neighbours
Firefly for President? Only time will tell
For more news, lookout for the Shawnee Social – the press you can be sure of
Alex Montrose and Hugo Lewkowicz
Where’s FEMA - Powhatan Editor - 3:33 pm
The National guard was never meant to be an army yet they have to like one why? FEMA or the federal have been called by the state of powhatan though they have not come. There has to be some blockage on the federal level for why this is happening. Most likely someone maybe in the pentagon or the white house has partnered with the corporations so they can get something out of it
Creep of Police - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 3:31 pm
FRESNADILLO, AH: Recently-reinstated Fresno Chief of Police Tomlinson refused to provide any explanation today for his indictment, citing concerns around “national security”.
An anonymous tip from within the Police Department alleged that the accusations (now retracted by the officers involved) were part of an attempted coup against the Chief by two of his captains. However, municipal and federal sources believe that questions may remain to be answered around the Chief’s links to Necrotech.
Mayor Georgia has made a firm commitment to get to the bottom of the matter.
Bombs fall in London - Northland Editor - 3:31 pm
London Ontario has taken drastic measures against the undead menace. An airstrike demolishes areas next to Lake Erie, taking out zombies and abandoned homes alike.
“This is our second airstrike,” the mayor said smugly. “Our FIRE trucks have also proven quite effective. I’m sure there were no civilians in the area.” The mayor was wearing a horrific zombie skull as a helmet at the time of the statement, appearing totally unafraid of infection.
Failed coup in Yarbrough - Susquehannock Reporter E - 3:30 pm
The deputy mayor of Yarbrough who was percieved dead after being shot in the chest suvived his injury and is now up and about again. The mayor of Yarbrough was the victim of an assassination attempt, allegedly engineered by the chief of the Yarnbrough police who was desposed of his office following the allegations. The mayor was evacuated to an unknown location, promoting the deputy mayor to acting mayor of Yarnbrough, as well as chief of police until an replacement can be found. While the assassination attempt was commited using a police weapon the former chief of police denies involvment with the crime.
Governor Jon Drops Out - Powhatan Editor - 3:30 pm
Governor Jon has decided to drop out of the race for president and endorse Mayor Mike who has officially started running for president also has the full support of both the Republican Charlottes Ville and the Democratic Roanoke. Governor Jon is now running to be reelected as Governor, with Mikes support. Mike believes that one of the reasons the Governor is so disliked is that he was dealt a bad hand he did his best and pulled through everything and our city was bettered by his support.
Retraction - Wabash Editor - 3:29 pm
The Bloodhound must issue a retraction. The credit previously given to the ex-Mayor of Richmond for this work on raising money for the city’s emergency services, combined with excellent political negotiation, was actually the work of the Ex-chief of Emergency services (now Richmond mayor).
Big four pharmas fighting over a cure - National Reporter A - 3:29 pm
Whilst Nutrivend had been singled out as the exclusive partner of the White House earlier, it now appears that the big four pharmas – Weygand, Necrotech, Lexcorp and Nutrivend are now going head to head against each other to be the first to identify the cause and cure for the zombification phenomenon.
However, it would seem that Nutrivend is still at the head of the pack, having claimed to have sent their first shipment of NutriSpeed to the Grand Rapids Police which had “give(sic) them an edge in controlling the outbreaks in the city”.
Necrotech is currently appealing for additional resources to fund its ongoing research and development, and the other two pharmas have not replied to our requests for an interview by press time.
One would wonder how Nutrivend had such stores of resources and why it has such strong vested interests in this matter.
Wabash in Disarray – Badger News Team Forced to Flee - National Editor - 3:28 pm
Due to a complete breakdown in the situation in Wabash, national media has learned that the Wabash branch of Badger News is being forced to flee. Any efforts that can be made by local, state, or federal authorities to assist our colleagues in this harrowing hour would be greatly appreciated.
To our colleagues on the ground in Wabash: Good luck and God bless.
Jon is adding more lies - Powhatan Editor - 3:28 pm
Governor Jon says that mayor Mike will drop a fire bomb on the corporations that he is investigating. Everyone else is saying that that is a complete lie, especially considering his past. The mayors have united under mayor Mike. As mayor Katrina put it “we are united, and Mike is our leader.
BREAKING NEWS: Coup in Progress - Kanawha Reporter A - 3:27 pm
The Bakerstown peoples army militia is attempting to violently overthrow the state Government of Kanawha due to alleged corruption in government. The Bakerstown government condemns this action entirely. The Bakerstown mayor is currently with the state government and is in danger of capture by the militia.
Editorial: who’s in charge? - Adirondack Editor - 3:25 pm
The redaction of Badger News is more and more faced with contradicting communications.
On the one hand we have Governor Duerinck communicating about trying to recapture the city of Albany. On the other hand the mayor of Albany is telling us that they plan to evacuate all citizens from the city, while trying to keep all Ombies inside to eradicate them.
It is not clear to Badger News what the real plans are, but one thing is clear: there is no clear collaboration between the two parties.
As Badger News is being relocated, we can only see that authorities are struggling to control the situation. If on top of that there is infighting between the different persons in charge, the population is further at risk.
We ask one thing from the people in charge: do your job, keep people safe.
Get to the Chopper! Wabash National Guard Commander on Route to Cure in Susquehannock - Parker Biro Wabash - 3:24 pm
Beefy national commander has been witnessed jumping into a chopper to get cure to Wabash! He shouted out “God Bless Wabash” before departing… The Bloodhound salutes his guts and hopes they remain within his bowels.
A-Hole Drops Out - Ahao Editor - 3:24 pm
FORTRESS CLEVELAND, AHAO:- News coming in the Governor of Ahao, Mickey Hollman has declared that he is no longer seeking election to political office. The Governor who has been mired in allegations of corruption, including allegations of an attempted coup against the mayor of Cincinatti. He has been roundly criticised for his continuing mismanagement of the zombie crisis. It is the opinion of this paper that he is not fit to be a hall monitor never mind president of this great nation.
Fists of Jebus condemn other militia groups - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:24 pm
A spokesman from the Fists of Jebus has issued a statement condemning violent action from other militia groups, and deny any allegations that they are involved in riots or kidnapping. They claim to only be interested in defence of their fellow citizens.
Joint statement from Mishigamaa - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:21 pm
“We are calling out the Governor to resign immediately, due to her poor decision making and failure to bring in the National Guard to save the people.”
They demand that she either call a State of Emergency instantly, or stand down to make way for someone who will.
They propose the Mayor of Romero City to stand to take the Governorship.
Is this a Democrat plot to take over State government? Or a simple cross-party consensus to deal with a major crisis?
The Governor responded to this with “No comment.”
A meeting is currently underway between the governor and the city mayors. The Bay City mayor is confronting her angrily. More on this story to follow.
Bakerstown and State Government Mend Ties - Kanawha Editor - 3:21 pm
Officials from Bakerstown have announced that a radical group of police have spread rumors of zombification in the city’s government. The related individuals have been apprehended, and ties have been mended.
Update of the state of Susquehannock - Susquehannock Reporter A - 3:21 pm
- Fires under control
- Important buildings cleared
- Helping the evacuation of Scranton
- Big reward for survivalists, collect at the Town Hall
- City center is safe and secure
- Civilians are given weapons to defend thenselves and their homes
- Wounded mayor emerges from hospital to speak to the crowds “Stand together”
- The only safe place in the city is the Mercy hospital
- Mercy hospital opens it doors for any evacuees, all are welcome, including evacuated Air Force personnel
- No hospitals left
- Being evacuated to Allentown, national guards are clearing the way. Civilians are to convene at city hall for evacuation.
- Lots of zombies outside the Badger office
- Mayor has been evacuated because of assissination attempt.
- Deputy mayor was reported dead, but was actually wounded.
- Only half the police force is left
- National guard is retreating behind the river, planning on blowing the bridge to prevent the zombies from following
White House: Nuclear Breach is in Northland, not Mishigamaa - National Reporter B - 3:20 pm
The White House has stated that the previously reported nuclear breach in Mishigamaa is actually located across the border in Northland. While discussions are apparently underway between the White House and the Northland Prime Minister, the White House is unwilling to share any details with a concerned public.
springfield - Iliniwek Sports - 3:18 pm
springfield holds firm says cheif of police who is pointing a gun to my head
please remain calm and dont panic its all under controll
BREAKING: Mishigamaa City Mayors to overthrow State Governor - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:18 pm
The Bay City Mayor is reportedly leading a coup organised among the mayors of the major cities in Mishigamaa to overthrow the State Governor, citing complaints over the Governor’s response dealing with this current crisis.
Georgia For Ahao? - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 3:17 pm
Fresnadillo’s Mayor Georgia today announced her candidacy for the position of State Governor. The Democratic darling is running on a platform of “Security, services, support.” A spokesman said “we care about you“.
Bakerstown Statement - Kanawha Reporter A - 3:17 pm
Governor Crow plans to redact the statement that the Bakerstown mayor is compromised. It is still unclear as to whether or not the chief of police is verified to be cleared of infection, but the Mayor of Bakerstown is clear of infection by the state
Citzens of Boyle City Cry Out for Cure - Parker Biro Wabash - 3:17 pm
City has yet to receive emergency measures.
Governor and NA mayor claim vaccin is found - Adirondack Editor - 3:16 pm
The mayor of New Amsterdam and the Governor’s office have communicated to Badger News that a “zombie” cure has been found and that funds are being diverted for distribution of the vaccin to the population.
No clear timeline or distribution channels have been communicated at this time.
No progress towards a cure in Ahao - Ahao - Naomi Young - 3:16 pm
Rumors are rife in Toledo that Dayton have developed a cure and are not sharing it. Dayton strongly deny this, they are doing everything they can to assist in research towards a cure, however research is ongoing and the mayor guaranteed that any cure would be shared state-wide and wanted to re-iterate as the only city not yet to declare a state of emergency, that they are the safest place in the state, especially considering they have introduced an additive to the water to combat the disease.
The chief of emergency services of Fresnadillo stated that “There is no progress as the university is full of thick people”
Cleveland stated that there is “good evidence” that the Cleveland Creme Donut makes a difference in prevention, meanwhile Cincinatti have passed on all information regarding the disease.
The statement from Homeland Security was less hopeful for the great state of Ahao, as they stated all cure research was being done by Corporations, of which, Ahao have none.
Heroes of Richmond - Wabash Editor - 3:15 pm
Valiant efforts have been made by the ex Mayor of Richmond, now Vice Governor, in repelling the Zombie infestation, and strident measures are being taken to bolster the defence of Richmond and drive the horde back.
A commitment of £25 million has been made towards frontline efforts to clear out Richmond city, with a message from the Vice Governor stating “We have committed in full and will continue to do so.”
A “Great Firewall” was constructed by the New Vice Governor, with support of the Emergency Services and Police, around Mercy Hospital, where the Heroic Chief of Police was last heard to have been taken out of intensive care and was now in recovery. This Firewall has been described as “appearing to work” by Becky Rose, Chief of the Emergency Services.
It seems to the Bloodhound that Richmond has been the breeding ground of heroes throughout this crisis.
In a strong move, Special Ops have also been deployed throughout Richmond and airstrikes have been conducted to halt the Zombie Horde, a move condoned by the new Vice Governor.
Breaking News: Necrotech May Have Cure in Ouisconsin - National Reporter B - 3:14 pm
National media has learned of reports that Necrotech may have developed a cure in Ouisconsin. Further reports as the situation develops.
Richmond Airstrike Own Town - Parker Biro Wabash - 3:14 pm
But with no affect….
The cure is here! - Susquehannock Reporter D - 3:14 pm
Luke Doodeman (Emergency Services Chief of Yorborough) and Bram Hesselink (Deputy Emergency Services Chief of Yorborough) are leading research on a cure to the zombie infection, together with the cities of Erie, Allentown, Yarborough and pharmaceutical company LexCorp. State police has been helping with a financial injection and by introducing LexCorp to the research. LexCorp has commited to produce the vaccin at a reduced cost. The researchers are stressing that it is their intent that the cure cannot be used as a weapon, but only as a cure; “This needs to stop!”.
A Cure has now been found, but is still in need of a delivery system. LexCorp is currently working on this delivery system.
National Guard Crushing Zombies - Powhatan Editor - 3:13 pm
The National Guard after being deployed to Charlottesville and Roanoke once Governor Jon declared a state of emergency have very much helped quell the horde they have lost no troops and have created a very succesful yactic that will in no time obliterate the zombie they have had heavy communications with all cities except Savini palace which is generally regarded as a safe haven.
Feds bomb Bay City - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:12 pm
Reports have come in, confirmed by City Hall, that the federal government have started using drones to bomb key infrastructure such as bridges in Bay City, to try and stall the “Alternatively Animated” threat.
A source in City Hall claims the authorities have abandoned the city and refuse to deal with the direct threat to the populace. Our source believes that the Governor is completely wrong to have not issued a State of Emergency.
CINCINATTI MAYOR THREATENED - Ahao, Susannah - 3:12 pm
Badger News have discovered huge corruption in state government. We can reveal that the State Governor has tried to have the City Mayor of Cincinatti assassinated by attempting the enlist the support of the Chief of Police, who bravely reported this to Badger. Cincinatti Heads have complained that they have been abandoned by the State, despite the bravery of the police. These shady dealings must be stopped!
Above- secret messages from the lietenant governor to the cincinatti chief of police
Badger News being relocated - Adirondack Editor - 3:11 pm
We are relocating from our office to a nearby hospital as the National Guard is giving up on the block where the Badger News offices are based.
But no fear dear reader, we will continue to inform you of the ongoing events as longs as technology allows us.
WARNING: Possible Nuclear breach at Bruce Power Station - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:11 pm
Reports have come in about a potential leak in the Bruce nuclear power station on the shores of Lake Huron.
The populations of Bay City, West Branch, and Gaylord have been warned, and are recommended to evacuate and move to Romero City if at all possible.
Wabash – Cure Tested - Parker Biro Wabash - 3:11 pm
FIMA have undertaken limited testing of the cure within the state.
Statement from Governors office on Theocracy - Ahao Editor - 3:10 pm
FORTRESS CLEVELAND, AHAO:- Governor Hollman has issued this statement,
“The “church” of the rigtheous is a cult instigated by the Mayor of Cincinati to dupe the peeople of Cincinati into following false prophets and cover up the Cities Mayors incompetence and baltant disregard for the Lives of Ahao citizens.”
we are now forced to wonder if the spelling errors are indicative of neurological degeneration perhaps due to Z virus infection.
Albany Mayor fighting Ombies. Heroic shot! - Adirondack Political News - 3:09 pm
Mishigamaa Deputy Governor gives calms Romero City - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:08 pm
The Deputy Governor of Mishigamaa has given an inspiring speech to the National Guard and citizenry based in Romero City, which has single-handedly stalled the sense of panic in the area.
Romero City continues as a shining example of a city dealing well with a major crisis, with the Chief of Police increasing budget for bringing on more SWAT teams to beat back the “zombie threat”. New weapons have been deployed to keep citizens safe. In the Mayor’s words, “this is going to be a great step forwards in ensuring that the people are kept safe and sound”
Nutrivend juice the cause behind zombification? - National Reporter A - 3:08 pm
Sources have informed this paper that Nutrivend juices are the cause behind the recent spate of zombification.
There’s nothing to lose by not drinking it, so please don’t.
White House Rumors of Unapproved Weapons Testing on Civilians - National Reporter B - 3:07 pm
According to sources in the Federal Government, the White House has learned of reports of unapproved weapons testing on American civilians. We will update with further information if and when the White House cares to take action on these disturbing developments.
Federal Funding Dropped from Nutrivend - Shawnee Editor - 3:07 pm
Today Federal Offices in Shawnee have confirmed that they will be dropping all Nutrivend funding due to concerns involving a federal investigation. Instead they will be funding AIM, as “they have no reason not to trust them.”
For more news, look out for Shawnee Social, the press you can be sure of
Alex Montrose and Hugo Lewkowicz
Rousing Speech by Mayor of New Amsterdam - Adirondack Political News - 3:06 pm
North New Amsterdam is still holding strong against the pressing hordes
from the South. The North stands as a bastion of order. Mayor Gouliou who
recently recovered from her injuries, rallies Police, Emergency Services
and Citizens together. “We will continue to fight, we will stand together,
we will hold the bridges. We WILL hold the North!”
Mass Panic in Grand Rapids - Mishigamaa Editor - 3:06 pm
Reports of Mass Panic in Grand Rapids, with riots and people fleeing the city. This has been confirmed by the City Mayor, who made a statement to the press, urging citizens to stay calm and evacuate to City Hall which is still protected.
Nutrivend still working on a cure in their secure facility, supported by the City Mayor providing funding and manpower. The Mayor says there is no evidence that Nutrivend are responsible for the outbreak.
President re Northland’s Offer of Military Assistance: “No Comment” - National Reporter B - 3:05 pm
When asked about the offer of military assistance from the Prime Minister of Northland, the President replied, “No comment.” In the face of an unprecedented crisis, it is highly concerning that the President appears to be unwilling to take decisive action as needed.
Northland: offering help or invading Adirondack? - Adirondack Editor - 3:02 pm
Over the past hours, several statements have been received from different branches of the government with regards to possible involvement of Northland in the ongoing crisis in our proud state.
First there was the news about an airstrike that was supposedly taking place on New Amsterdam by Northland airplanes, which has been denied by the federal authorities.
In the last hours, the Governor’s office has been issuing statements about the possible involvement of Northland ground troops in the ongoing crisis. The latest rumours are that this operation would be allowed by the White House. The Governor opposed such an operation, as he is afraid that this operations is actually a hidden attempt at annexation of our state to North Land.
82nd Airborne Division Deploy into Ouisconsin - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 3:01 pm
To the relief of many, the famous division has now been deployed into Ouisconsin, bringing much needed military support to the state. Residents are hoping that this move hasn’t come too late to restore some semblance of order to the disaster-ravaged state.
Evacuation proceeds in Allentown - Susquehannock Reporter E - 3:01 pm
The evacuation of the people of Allentown to the national guard base in Harrisburg continued after being halted by a massive amount of zombies blocking the way. The way was cleared by joint effords of the Allentown police and the national guard.
Fake Cure - Powhatan Editor - 2:59 pm
In the state of Kanawha a mayor partnered with a company and has reportedly a fake cure causing those who take it to turn in the zombies
White House State Liaison to meet with Terrorists - Mishigamaa Editor - 2:58 pm
White House State Liason to meet with militia groups to discuss possible locations and instigators of the outbreak – such groups have been accusing the federal government of collaboration.
Rumours are circulating that the militia groups may try to kidnap the Liason officer.
Mayor Mayhew speaks to London municipal employees - Northland Editor - 2:58 pm
Mayor Callum Mayhew, speaking at London City Hall today, praised municipal preparations to combat the zombie menace, and encouraged city workers to “hold your ground!”
The Mayor went on to say “Sons and daughters of London, of Windsor, my brothers/sisters,I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men and women fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day.”
He added, “An hour of undead and shattered riot shields, when the age of persons comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight. By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, municipal employees of southwest Ontario!”
PLANES IN BAKERSTOWN - Kanawha Editor - 2:58 pm
Large army planes have been landing in Bakerstown. Assistance of Bakerstown on a federal level has been escalated
Bloodhound Goes Mobile - Wabash Editor - 2:58 pm
Under the generous donation of the National Guard, the Wabash Bloodhound has taken to the streets in an APC with full media kit an capabilities.
More soon from the scene.
“Let us help” – Northland PM - Northland Editor - 2:58 pm
Northland troops are gathered on the border to Adirondack, prepared to help with the zombie crisis. “We are waiting to hear back from the White House before sending in troops” says the Prime Minister.
When asked about the problems within Northland, including a shootout on the tarmac of the Toronto airport with armed, desperate refugees, the PM responded “we have everything under control here. We’re trying to help people who need it more.”
Mayor of Cleveland’s family kidnapped - Ahao Editor - 2:57 pm
FORTRESS CLEVELAND, AHAO:- A source close to the Mayor of Cleveland, Lucinda Quinn, has reported that her family has been kidnapped and held against their will by forces loyal to the City’s Chief of Police, Rob Pate, and the Deputy head of the Ahao State Troopers, Drew Gotobed. This is surmised to be in an effort to increase the power of the Chief of Police over the city and to use this crisis to undermine and ultimately destroy democracy.
Mayor Mike Runs for President - Powhatan Editor - 2:56 pm
Mayor Mike from Savini Palace runs for president he believes he deserves this position because he has helped other cities in powhatan and because he has kept his cities completely clean he has basically been doing the job of the governor and sent most of his troops out. Mayor Mike has recieved endorsements from Charlottesville and also cross party support from Roanoke.
Governor visits Erie hospital to meet with Mayor - Susquehannock Reporter D - 2:56 pm
Today, I have been given the opportunity to share a helicopter ride with the governor to visit the hospital of Erie. During this visit, the governor met with the Erie mayor, who is currently a patient in the hospital. The governor was very impressed with the medical staff of the hospital and how they managed with the limited resources that they have available.
It seems fingers are being pointed to companies that might have caused they outbreak. The response of the governor was that research needs to be done first on a justitial level before any names should be made public.
On the way back, the governor and his personnel saved the family of the mayor, who were in an area swarmed with zombies.
Update from New Amsterdam - Adirondack Political News - 2:56 pm
According to the Mayor of New Amsterdam they are working together with the Chief of Police to organise a militia to help combat the Ombie treat. Help from the Pentagon has also been confirmed.
At the same time according to the Governor the state has organised a mega game as charity event in New Amsterdam. The subject of this Mega game is the Ombie situation itself so the citizens can see for themselves how difficult it is to search compromises. This charity event revenue is going to helps people in need
Fresnadill-uh-oh - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 2:55 pm
We at Badger HQ hear rumours that the Mayor of our state capital is working with Necrotech “against the state”. Keep your minds open, people – who knows whether the state or the Big Pharma guys have our best interests at heart?
Left to die? - Susquehannock Reporter E - 2:54 pm
Governor Vermeer informed badger news that he officially wants to start a senat wide investigation of the white house for retreating the federal troops from the Susquehannock airport base, leaving it unprotected.
Murder amongst the chaos - Susquehannock Reporter E - 2:54 pm
The deputy mayor of Yarbrough was shot dead recently. The murder was diguised as a zombie attack but the bullet wounds were still visible, redering the deception unsucessful
Wright City Mayor Arms vigilantes - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 2:53 pm
Wright City Mayor, in a move of apparent desperation has chosen to arm the religious extreme group The Fists of God.
Armed to patrol the streets and rid them of the undead (quoted from the leader of the group) The vigilantes are “only targeting the undead and infected” when pushed further the leader said: “We want to rid this city of the Devil and the godless” Arming civilians is a clear indication of the terrible state in Wright City. It is yet to be determined if we should be more fearful of the vigilantes or the undead.
Secretary of State: “We are waiting passively for things to happen.” - National Reporter B - 2:53 pm
National media has learned from well placed sources in the federal government that the Secretary of State and the Secretary of the DHS are currently engaged in infighting rather than taking productive action to counter the ongoing crisis. While the Secretary of DHS has pushed for increased action, the Secretary of State opined that their hands are tied while they wait to hear from forces on the ground. According to our source, the Secretary of State then stated, “We are waiting passively for things to happen.”
In the face of overwhelming casualties, this publication is concerned just how many more “things” need to happen before the Secretary of State takes action.
Zombies spread to Pittsburgh Air Force base! - Susquehannock Reporter A - 2:53 pm
Zombies have reached the Pittsburgh Air Force today. The base is evacuating now.
The Pentagon said that due to the intransigence of the governor they were unable to defend the base and made a considered decision to evacuate.
Spider-like Powers? - Kanawha Reporter A - 2:51 pm
More uncredited reports of a man-spider type person have been flooding social media
Fugitive Pittsburg mayor still fighting - Susquehannock Reporter A - 2:51 pm
Accused of treason, fugitive Mayor Kevin Letanche of Pittsburg is still fighting to save his city!
VP and Joint Chiefs Rule Out Nuclear Option - National Reporter B - 2:51 pm
Despite rumors of tactical nuclear weapons being taken out of storage by the President, the Vice President and the Joint Chiefs have ruled out the use of nuclear weapons on the American population. The Vice President emphatically stated that they were focused on looking for a cure for the current outbreak of infected (that are definitely not “zombies”) and that the White House would not take nuclear action.
Emergency council decides on action plan - Adirondack Political News - 2:50 pm
According to the Governor’s office during the emergency meeting between the governor and city officials it was agreed upon to use the Army and National guard to try and secure the major roads in between the cities. This should allow the government to contain the outbreak of the Ombies.
There are also rumours about troops from Northland coming into action within our state. It’s is unclear who has approved these actions.
Air strikes remain a means of last resort in case other measurements fail.
Word from - Iliniwek Sports - 2:50 pm
We have had word from Ben, he advises stay indoors and hold up, and God willing we will supping sundowners by Thursday
A New Fight-Back Against the Zombie Threat? - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 2:50 pm
Several reports are coming in from cities across Ouisconsin of the new, heroic, and at times unconventional methods the American people are using to take the fight back to the undead scourge. From Madison, where local firefighters have taken to modifying their fire trucks to be used to run down the undead, to Green Bay working with Necrotech to try a new aerosol cure method delivered by helicopter. The American spirit refuses to die down. Congratulations also to various town mayors on deciding to fight side-by-side with their people.
Nutrivend CEO denies “body-snatching” claims - Mishigamaa Editor - 2:49 pm
Various accusations have been coming in of corporations – LexCorp, Nutrivend, and Weygand – stealing corpses of decorated policemen who laid down their lives for the citizenry.
The CEO of Nutrivend claims that these accusations are completely unnecessary, and that their efforts to obtain “biological samples” are completely overseen and approved of by the City Governments, and in accordance with State Law.
Situation escalating in Dayton? - Ahao - Naomi Young - 2:49 pm
DAYTON, AHAO: Widespread reports of looting in Dayton are being met in with a statement that it is not necessary. Bottled water is being distributed at fortified buildings.
The white house have threatened to commit an unauthorized action into the city. Dayton have not declared a stated of emergency and so any such action would be attack on the Third Amendment.
However, the mayor has been involved with capture of a zombie citizen, which is a clear violation of the the Sixth and Seventh amendments, and they are boasting about experimentation on this “level 2”.
Dayton are issuing press releases stating they are the safest place in Ahao, but be very careful, if you are sick, Dayton is not a place you will be treated fairly.
Coup in Wabash - Shawnee Editor - 2:47 pm
Reports are coming in from sources close to Governor Firefly that our neighbour state of Wabash has seen rise to a coup. Rumours tell that a the National Guard, with universal mayoral support, have made moves to overthrow the Wabashian Governor. Sources tell us that the state of Wabash have authorised the use of “unconventional weapons” to deal with the “infection”. As of yet, we don’t know who by. Meanwhile, the Mayors of Powhaton have formed a possy to hunt and execute their governor for “inaction”.
In a statement today from our Governor, Firefly officially “condemns” the actions of Wabash’s National Guard and continues to support our emergency services in this time, and we in turn support her.
For more new, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can be sure of
Hugo Lewkowicz and Alex Montrose
Special Forces deployed to Cleveland - Ahao Editor - 2:45 pm
FORTRESS CLEVELAND, AHAO:- We have eye witness reports of special forces units in UH60 Blackhawk helecopters have been deployed to eastern Cleveland to tackle Zombies behind the police cordon. Fighting can be heard across the city amid the heroic struggle of the defenders against the animated corpses of their former family, friends and neighbours.
Refugee camps taking shape around Syracuse - Adirondack Editor - 2:45 pm
Badge News was informed by the White House press agency that the first three refugee camps have been established by army engineers around the base of the National Guard in Syracuse.
As the population is on the run, the authorities want to inform them that refugee camps will be established as the Army and the National Guard advance towards the big cities in the state.
“Worse Than A Nuclear Bomb” - Wabash Editor - 2:44 pm
Disturbing claims from the Mayor of Boyle state that the new Governor is considering using Non-Conventional Weapons of Mass Destruction on the now abandoned city of Boyle. These weapons have been described as being “worse than a nuclear bomb,” and there are unconfirmed eyewitness reports coming from the Governor’s Office that a WMD order has been signed.
State governor dumbfounded by funding request from Marquette - Mishigamaa Editor - 2:44 pm
A highly unusual news article today. The Mayor of Marquette has just officially requested additional state and federal funding due to the 40,000 additional citizens that have appeared in the city over the last few days.
Federal law apparently demands that if the “Alternatively Animated”, many of whom have been recognised as former Veterans, are recognised as American Citizens despite their previous reported deaths, then the city must request $180m in additional funding to offer medicare and social services.
The mayor, initially shocked by the request, has promised to discuss it with her legal team.
A-Whole A-Theist - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 2:44 pm
According to a source from the Church of the Righteous in Cincinnatti, Governor Hollman has refused to join the Chief theologist in prayer for the beleaguered citizens of Cincinnatti and Cleveland
Nico Buffing acting Mayor of Pittsburgh - Susquehannock Reporter E - 2:42 pm
Pittsburgh has a new acting Mayor in Nico Buffing while the still wanted Mayor Kevin Letance is located at Mercy hospital to help with the evacuation. Citizens of Pitsburgh are once again adviced to evacuate to the hospital!
Mayor Mike Denounces Corporations - Powhatan Editor - 2:42 pm
Mayor Mike wanted to firebomb a Corporation and steal information which without further information would be a harrowing thought but it turns out that one of the companies asking for live specimens can’t be trusted and should be investigated.
White House working with Bakerstown - Kanawha Editor - 2:41 pm
We have recieved reports from the National Government that they are working with research laboratories in both Parkersburg and Bakerstown to verify the effectiveness of the many competing blood tests. This certainly changes the game when it comes to the humanity status of the Governor and the officials in Bakerstown.
Homeland Security Press Release - National Editor - 2:41 pm
Official statement from Homeland Security states that they are:
- continuing to work closely with companies and universities to develop cure
- work is progressing quickly towards this aim but we urge citizens to remain calm
- continuing to follow all leads to investigate the source of the outbreak
When questioned about this further, the Press Liaison Officer was not at liberty to say why the Federal line has not changed since the initial outbreak. Surely some more concrete action needs to be taken to help our country, which is being ravaged by an infectious zombie outbreak that seems to be out of control.
But as Homeland Security says… “don’t panic”
Fresnadillo Chief of Police Indicted - Ahao, Susannah - 2:40 pm
The Fresnadillo Chief of Police has been indicted due to an obstruction of a Federal investigation. Federal authorities took this action as a result of an investigation at Necrotech into irregular funding. Any rumours including the mayor’s involvement must be disregarded as ficticious at this stage.
State Chief of Police Andy Eastern wishes to reassure the population that the investigation will proceed quickly and results will be reported via the press office as soon as they become avaliable. As the investigations are ongoing, the Police Captain, Andy Covell will assume control.
Blood Tests for City Officials - Kanawha Reporter A - 2:39 pm
Due to understandable doubts it is important that ALL city officials take public blood tests. The governor especially MUST be subject to this test publicly to ensure the safety of the citizens. A government sanctioned test must be administered to ensure accuracy.
BREAKING: Bernardis Evacuates Madison - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 2:37 pm
Mayor Bernardis issues evacuation order to Madison as city becomes completely overun and uncontrollable. Bernardis allegedly is prioritizing “important people”as they flea the capital.
Seen first hand the Capital is falling rapidly, citizens are urged to head to Border Dam for santuary.
National Guard Announces withdrawal of support to Racine and Kenosha - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 2:37 pm
An official representing the guard spoke to badger news and clarified that this decision was made due to the greater needs of Green Bay and Madison at this time.
FEMA Finds Majority of Corporations Uncooperative in Face of Crisis - National Reporter B - 2:36 pm
FEMA has informed the national media that they are working closely with Nutrivend on treatment of the infection, but has found most other corporations to be unresponsive and unhelpful.
Notably, the national media has heard reports that Nutrivend of Mishigamaa has been stealing corpses from hospitals without the permissions of the families of the deceased, which raises questions about the moral standards of FEMA.
London reaches mass panic - Northland Editor - 2:36 pm
“We will burn London to the ground before abandoning it!”, shouted the mayor, riding atop a black firetruck spewing gasoline. He was shirtless and had steaks of ash painted across his body at the time of the statement.
Lexcorp and Weygand abandon the people of Erie - Susquehannock Reporter E - 2:35 pm
Weygand and Lexcorp were asked to help the people of Erie by the Mayor, but refused.
Savini Palace Gives Ambulances - Powhatan Editor - 2:35 pm
Savini Palace has recently sent lots of ambulances to charlottes ville and Roanoke which they would like to thank them for. Mayor David has raised the pay for ambulances so they could better serve the citizens
Communication from Albany mayor to all - Adirondack Editor - 2:35 pm
Badger News has received the following communication from the mayor of Albany:
PSA: Emergency Council meeting organisation
This is a notice intended for all political bodies in the state of
The Governor has requested an emergency council to organise the
counter-Ombie efforts in the state. Due to continued concerns about the
health (and a possible infection) of the Governor, the Mayor of Albany is
organising an emergency council meeting by telephone. All invited parties
will receive the necessary information to join the council meeting.
The Mayor of Albany continues to care for everyone’s safety and health, and
by preventing travel and possible exposure to infection, state governing
bodies can continue functioning effectively.
We do not know if there are clear indications of the Governor’s infection or not, but it is strange in such a time of crisis to request all mayor political players to be present in person in a city overrun by Ombies.
Zombies 101 - Iliniwek Sports - 2:33 pm
Our state troopers are having success engaging with the hordes only when they can contain them first. This should be tactic our troops need to deploy
Many A Cross Word Is Taken In Stress - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 2:32 pm
Statement from Sec of Def re Military Aid - National Reporter B - 2:30 pm
The Secretary of Defense informed national media that the following states and territories have requested and received military aid:
- District of Columbia.
With regards to the situation of Boyle City, Wabash, the Secretary stated that Boyle City has been evacuated by the governor. With regards to political developments involving the governor, the federal governmental stands at the ready to help and has full confidence in the (Republican) governor of Wabash.
Romero City – A tale of two political parties - National Reporter A - 2:30 pm
The citizens of Romero City will be given VR headsets in what seems to be a bid to blind them to zombie attacks and questionable political campaigns.
Along with the announcement of free VR headsets, the Republican state governor, Maria Osa, has announced her candidacy for President. In an interesting twist of political fate, her candidacy is supported by Pollyana, the Democratic Romerean city mayor. This would be America’s first cross-party liaison for Presidency.
When questioned if this was the right time for the State to be spending funding on VR headsets, the representatives from Romero City remained adamant that this was the right thing to do, as the VR headsets seek to ‘educate the public’ about calm in the current state of turmoil.
The result of the liaison between Democrats and Republicans remain to be seen, as that between VR headsets and zombie attacks.
State of the state of Susquehannock - Susquehannock Reporter A - 2:30 pm
State: declared state-wide emergency
- Mass panic
- Evacuating to Harrisburg
- University continues zombie research
- Moderate panic
- Police are keeping the main locations, but surrounded by zombies
- Erie militia hold the line
- Zombies are spreading to the east
- Sent medical help to Pittsburgh
- Mass panic
- Situation going to shambles
- Almost whole city overrun, including government buildings, police make a last stand at Mercy hospital
- Mass panic
- Lots of zombies, including in front of the Badger office
- Mass panic
- Fighting the zombies, some success
- Police HQ has been destroyed
- Many city fires
Wabash Governor Arrested - Wabash Editor - 2:30 pm
In tandem to the organised coup by the Wabash Mayor’s Coalition, the National Guard has been authorised to arrest the State Governor but, to the Bloodhound’s knowledge, no charges have yet been announced. The formerly incarcerated Deputy Governor has now assumed the role of Governor after no charges were filed; some have claimed his ascension to be illegitimate in the wake of scandal, and a need for political stability is required.
An announcement from the President has declared the arrest of the Governor to be illegal and has urged the new Governor to open up an urgent line of communication with the Presidential Office.
The previous Governor had arranged for Special Forces and Air Squadrons to be brought in under the President’s purveyance, and the Presidential Office has stated that these forces are contingent on the immediate line of communication.
Vigilante Justice - Kanawha Reporter A - 2:29 pm
Once again, there are unverified reports about the man in the red outfit battling the infected horde. This time he has been seen exhibiting spider like qualities
BREAKING: Weygand and Government accused of creating outbreak - Mishigamaa Editor - 2:28 pm
The Free Militia have captured Waygand Corp HQ. On interrogating their records they have found evidence that their lab in Bay City was the originator of the outbreak and that they had been working with the Federal Government.
This links in with previous reports that a LexCorp facility in Bay City could be the source, which was being investigated by local police forces, and observations that the State Government abandoned Bay City to the hordes very early on, rumoured to be a coverup for their corporate dealings.
The Governor denies this, and claims that National Guard deployment were unable to get into the city to assist. As a result, they had to quarantine the city.
More on this story as it develops.
Cure found! - Susquehannock Reporter E - 2:28 pm
A cure has to the disease seems to have been found in Ouisconsin. The plans are now to spread it through the air in order to reach as many infected as possible. Further news will follow.
Governor Declares State Of Emergency - Powhatan Editor - 2:27 pm
Governor Jon Declares state of emergency so federal troops can come and help powhatan
“Don’t drink the water” Ahao State Governor warns - Ahao, Susannah - 2:27 pm
The Ahao State Governor has cautioned all citizens that the zombie virus is spread by water, and has issued a warning that only bottled water is safe. He has promised a shipment of bottled water to the state.
Fresnadillo Mayor doing human experiments on infected? - Ahao - Naomi Young - 2:26 pm
FRESNADILLO, AHAO: The mayor of Fresnadillo has advised they are accepting ‘selected’ infected from other cities. The mayor reported that “Research is going well at the university”, but declared a state of emergency in order to get federal support in creating a safe zone.
Ground Zero closer to discovery - National Editor - 2:25 pm
An unnamed but impeccable source has told us that Nutrivend caused the virus outbreak.
Apparently they’ve been stealing corpses for study for a while now, and their blundering experiments unleashed the virus.
Our reporters will be following up on this to find out what else the company has been doing, since it moved its headquarters to Missigama.
I’m sure the Mayor of Misquitte isn’t quite so happy to have asked to be quoted as saying that Nutrivend would bring a huge amount of benefit to the local community in the form of job creation when Nutrivend first opened its new headquarters less than a week ago.
Breaking News: Mayor takes charge - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 2:25 pm
James Wiggins now being coined the Savour of Oisconsin has been handed power of Kenosha.
It has now been confirmed the mayor of Kenosha has stood down and James Wiggins will represent both Kenosha and his beloved Racine City. what better man to lead the people than the man of the people.
Do we have a political shift happening in Oisconsin?
Yarborough Police HQ overrun - Susquehannock Reporter D - 2:24 pm
Zombies have now overrun a school and the police HQ of Yarborough.
Half of the City is burning and another massive panic attack is uprising.
Situation Update Cleveland - Ahao Editor - 2:22 pm
CLEVELAND, AHAO:- The Mayor of Cleveland has issued a statement today regarding the attack upon the city. The Hordes are contained within the eastern half of the city and police forces have instituted a cordon to contain the shambling undead, this along with USAF airstrikes have blunted the advance. Mercy hospital, despite being in the west of the city, remains a lone outpost surrounded by the cities former residents. We continue to report from our offices here and shall do so for as long as possible.
Parkersburg — Sanctuary City - Kanawha Editor - 2:22 pm
Parkersburg wishes to publicly welcome all citizens who can prove that they are human. Anybody fleeing the recently evacuated city of Huntington is welcome, according to Mayor Cindy Simon. Their press secretary assures us that she is doing a fantastic job.
Mishigamaa State Update - Mishigamaa Editor - 2:21 pm
State Governor says that declaring a state wide emergency was the right decision allowing her to keep control of the resources and co-ordinate Cities. Governor allocating all resources possible to aid Cities. No intention to declare State Wide emergency in future.
Romero City expected to raise state of emergency shortly. Mayor wishes to offer assistance to more of the state, while the State Government praises them as a model of how to react under a crisis.
Bay City however, is to be placed under State Lockdown, evacuated and abandoned. Press announcement from State officials to be expected shortly. A anonymous source from within the police department blames this on the Chief of Police failing to negotiate adequate resources and failing to make use of state supplies, while the State Governor promised assistance from the National Guard which never materialised. My source believes that the city was abandoned by the state right from the state of the issue. Was this a ploy to prevent full investigation of the LexCorp facility?
Marquette is not doing too badly, but has major divisions among its officials. The Police and other Emergency services are no longer cooperating in tackling issues, while the Mayor is reported to be campaigning instead of coordinating the defence efforts. She reportedly abandoned
Grand Rapids is now the last of the five major cities to declare a state of emergency. The Mayor would like to issue a bit shoutout to the efforts of all its emergency services. Angry mobs have formed at the hospital and Nutrivend HQ. Bereaved familes have had the corpses of their loved ones removed from the morque, and suspect Nutrivend of turning them into more Alternatively Animated.
As far as Spearing goes, the State Governor would like to praise the City Officials and Police Force for saving her mansion and family, but they do not deny reports that the majority of civilian protection has been outsourced to militia armed by the state.
Huntington is Evacuating - Kanawha Reporter A - 2:21 pm
Huntington is officially overrrun and is being evacuated. Mayor Tyler Karsten has stated that he will stay to the last man before leaving. The mayor places the safety of his citizens above all else.
UPDATE: Injured Man Escapes From AIM Officials After Attempted Capture - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 2:21 pm
After a brief interview with the man who stumbled into our office, it transpires that AIM had been looking for volunteers to carry out field research on the outbreak. After refusing to volunteer for the research project, AIM employees refused to let the man leave and it was only after making a daring escape against steep odds that he was able to reach us to break the story.
Scranton call to arms – We want you! - Susquehannock Reporter D - 2:19 pm
Scranton police chief and deputy mayor are calling on to the people of Scranton to come to their aid.
Everyone in town is requested to gather at the city hall to either pick up arms and support our great police force, or to be evacuated. The police force have been showing “superhuman” efforts so far and have now implemented the “special bullets” which are more effective against the infected
We repeat: all citizens of Scranton, gather at city hall!
Update – Governor confined to State House by Albany mayor - Adirondack Political News - 2:19 pm
The mayor of Albany has ordered city police to keep the State Governor secured inside the State House.
London concerned – is this the apocalypse? - Northland Editor - 2:19 pm
Citizens concerned firetrucks in London are being painted black and dumping out their water. “The are being painted the colour of smoke and ash.” Says the mayor ominously.
London is currently on the verge of mass panic.
Airstrike ordered on New Amsterdam abandoned areas - Adirondack Political News - 2:18 pm
In a joint decision between the White House, the Governor’s office and the mayor of New Amsterdam, the areas of the city abandoned to the zombie hordes will be bombed.
The airstrike will come from North Land.
Savini Palace Mayor Fighting - Powhatan Editor - 2:18 pm
Mayor Mike of Savini Palace decided it is time for him to start fighting on the front lines against the Zombie infestation him and his Police chief Bruce are going to start taking a active role in the fight and hopefully this can inspire other mayors and the people to have hope that we can overcome
Dayton Fire Department Saving The Day - Ahao, Susannah - 2:17 pm
Dayton Fire Department have been working double shifts to support their neighbours in Fresnadillo. These heroes must be recognised!
Toledo situation “comparatively normal” - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 2:17 pm
Toledo Mayor Rob has praised the efforts of the local PD in keeping a lid on the outbreaks, announcing additional funding “to further reassure the people of Toledo”
Exclusive Interview with Bakerstown Officials - Kanawha Editor - 2:16 pm
Bakerstown Officals have broken out of City Hall, and rushed straight to the press office. They claim that they were subjected to blood tests proving that they are not infected, and say the Governor has not undergone this same test. They claim the arrest was politically motivated, and was carried out by the governor’s “personal private thugs”. The Governor claims this is NOT TRUE and that they ARE IN FACT INFECTED.
Panic in Louisville - Shawnee Editor - 2:15 pm
Citizens of Louisville are left quaking in fear under the increasing threat of infection. Whilst they struggle under diminishing resources, Mayor Mayoh has been forced to ask our Governor to intervene. Mayoh’s message to the people of Lousiville is that they should “Stay indoors”.
This news is only made more alarming by the fact that their University is leading the way in finding a cure for the infection. Elizabethtown tell us that they too are researching a cure, although we hear at Shawnee Social find ourselves confused as to how as they are yet to precure any “specimens”.
For more news, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can be sure of
Alex Montrose and Hugo Lewkowicz
Governor requests emergency council - Adirondack Editor - 2:15 pm
Governor Tim Duerinck requests the set-up of an emergency council. All mayors and police chiefs should report at the State House at the start of phase 1 to coordinate efforts with National Guard and Homelands security .
BREAKING NEWS: Necrotech successfully produced new cure for Zombie virus - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 2:15 pm
Necrotech has finally managed to create a cure and initial tests are proving successful. The cure will be delivered either via Dart or Aerosal, with an initial distribution being handled at a Greenbay cite.
Live Specimen Captured - Powhatan Editor - 2:13 pm
Roanoke has recently captured a live specimen of one of the infected. It is being escorted to Savini Palace where it will be studied with the help of the national guard
Fresnadillo “Armadillo” Safe Zone Under Construction - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 2:13 pm
Local government in Fresnadillo has contained infection to the west side of the city. Drawing inspiration from the city’s mascot Arnie the Armadillo, plans are underway to use municipal and federal funding to construct a sealed safe zone in the city. Exactly how the construction of this wall will be paid for remains to be seen.
Meanwhile, research into the causes of the infection continue at the city’s university within the prospective zone, which is being fortified by local police.
Pitsburgh Mayor under order of arrest - Susquehannock Reporter E - 2:12 pm
Due to the illegal evacuation of the citicens of Pitsburgh the mayor now officially has an order of arrest. The police of Pitsburgh stands with the mayor on the decision of the evacuation, refusing to arrest him. The citizens of Pitsburgh are asked to evacuate to Mercy hospital and those already evacuated to the military facility are adviced to follow the rules given there.
Zombies Speak - Kanawha Reporter A - 2:12 pm
Reports have been confirmed that infected individuals have been heard chanting “We will not pay for the wall.” It is still uncertain as to what the infected mean or what they hope to accomplish
Ahao State Police “Heroes” - Ahao, Susannah - 2:11 pm
Ahao State Police have been describes as “heroes” due to their diligent protection of small towns in the area. The boys in blue have been performing admirably during these trying times.
Warrior of Racine! - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 2:11 pm
Amidst the ongoing chaos Racine appears to be standing firm and strong, whilst the other Cities and State in general struggle to get a grip of they’re ongoing problems James Wiggins, Mayor of Racine is personally guarding his cities border in the frontline of defense against the unliving force. in an interview he says:
“We are working closely with the Mayor of Kenosha and have always had a good working relationship, As far as we in Racine are concerned every Politician should be on the frontline in defense of this great nation”
Racine are holding a cultural celebration today at the University.
the Mayors press release says:
“Everyone is invited, except the undead”
State of Ahao vastly unprepared for scale of disaster - Ahao - Naomi Young - 2:11 pm
After declaring a statewide emergency, and asking for citizens guns and ammo, they have issued a statement saying
“I wholeheartedly affirm my support for our citizens’ second amendment rights. It should be a source of pride that armed citizens are able to support police in this way, and I would encourage our brave, responsible armed citizens to help defend the most vulnerable in our communities.” – Deputy Governor Rutherford
We have not heard directly from the governor in some time and the state police have just tried to bribe Badger to give them positive press.
Meanwhile, we have mobile phone footage of the Air force sending in F16s and bombing both Cleveland and Cincinatti.
Mayors attempt coup - Wabash Editor - 2:10 pm
The Bloodhound has learnt that the Mayors of Wabash have united in an attempt to seize the Governor’s seat.
At this time the Governor has been formally empowered with executive authority by the President. He cannot be deposed from office without either criminal charges or an election being brought forward.
In addition the Vice-Governor is still being detained without charges. He states he will fully support the Governor if he were released.
The probable reason for the Mayors undertaking this action is dissatisfaction with a lack of support in the current crisis despite having declared a state of emergency many hours ago.
Nuclear leak! - Northland Editor - 2:09 pm
Reported leak at Bruce nuclear plant on the shores of Lake Huron. “We are responding to the situation as quickly as possible, further updates to come,” the PM quickly responded.
On a clear day, the power plant can be seen from the shores of Mishigamaa.
Nefarious Necrotech - Susquehannock Reporter E - 2:08 pm
The big company Necrotech has been reported to experiment on live zombies as well as civilians in their residence in Allentown. The Allentown police is in on this, reportedly protecting those Necrotech facilities used or this illegal and morally questionable research.
UPDATE: BAKERSTOWN MAYOR ARRESTED - Kanawha Editor - 2:08 pm
In addition to the Chief of Police, the Mayor of Bakerstown has now been arrested. Could this mean disaster? The governor has yet to release information about why this may have happened. Police forces are operating alone.
Tainted Water? - Kanawha Reporter A - 2:08 pm
Noah Crow, Governor of Kanawha spoke of the disease possibly spreading through the water supply. He advocates for more university funding to increase the chances of finding a cure. Seems Nutrivend is not working as well as the governor would like. Perhaps its benefits are less than Parkersburg would have us believe.
The State of Iliniwek - Iliniwek Sports - 2:08 pm
Springfield and Joliet are bouncing back, with Spring field and Rockford offering aid to Aurora.
Aurora is losing confidence in its City police, where as confidence in our State troopers remains strong.
Embattled Rockford is doing its best under difficult circumstances
Halperin’s Mayor is again making healthcare of it’s citizens its main goal
The national guard are offering no quarter to the scourge.
Breaking News- Derailed train brings undead to Wishicama - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 2:07 pm
The undead have gotten past border controls by careening through them. A refugee train crashed past the quarantine and to the shock of locals the occupants had been long dead. Local forces are doing what they can to handle the issue.
Wright City Chief of Police Fails Basic Geography Question - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 2:06 pm
In a recent press conference, Wright City Chief of Police showed a lack of basic understanding of his state by failing to state correctly the capitol of Ouisconsin. Are our citizens safe with these officials in charge?
Update on Cities- Adirondack - Adirondack Editor - 2:06 pm
- City mayor wounded in ER after zombie attack
- South and West of the city overrun by Ombies: officials trying to contain outbreak
- Relocating population to North of the city which is fairly Ombie-free
- Ombies present in all parts of the city
- Mass panic: all Ombies have increased 1 level!
- Priority = keeping the hospitals safe
- State governor kept in his mansion
- Chief of State police captured Ombie specimen himself
- City surrounded by Ombies
- Evacuating and trying to safeguard the city centre
- Fires are spreading
Mass Panic in Cleveland - Ahao Editor - 2:05 pm
CLEVELAND, AHAO:- Reports are coming in of mass panic in Cleveland as waves of zombies have overrun much of the east of the city. Civilian casualties are likely and heavy losses are reported amongst the cities defenders as both CPD and Ahao State troopers have taken casualties. The BNC offices are in the west of the city and we shall continue reporting here for as long as we can.
Breaking news – Mass Panic breaks out in Albany - Adirondack Political News - 2:05 pm
Badger News has witnessed first-hand the panic in the streets of Albany.
Authorities describe the situation as “Mass Panic”
The situation appears to be completely out of control.
Nutrivend to work exclusively with the Government - National Reporter A - 2:05 pm
In a press release by the Department of Homeland Security, Nutrivend has been singled out as the exclusive vendor for dealing with the latest spate of ‘infectious diseases’. All specimens will be sent to Nutrivend for analysis and the pharmaceutical giant will be tasked with developing the cure for the outbreaks.
It is unclear how much money is at stake in this high-profile contract at this point.
Wabash Governor Implicated in Forged Docs Scandal - Parker Biro Wabash - 2:04 pm
Reports from central government state that the Governor may be arrested imminently due to being implicated in a forged document scandal. No comment as yet from the Gov.
BAKERSTOWN CHIEF OF POLICE ARRESTED - Kanawha Editor - 2:04 pm
The Governor of Kanawha has arrested the Chief of Police of Bakerstown. No information has been released about why this may have happened.
Rutherford Losing Grip - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 2:03 pm
Police brutality continues in Yarbourgh - Susquehannock Reporter E - 2:03 pm
The police is reported to continuously use exessive force against civilians. This was confirmed by the press officer, who gave the ongoing riots and mass panic as an explenation.
The Well Ordered – responsible for global ransomware attack? - Mishigamaa Editor - 2:03 pm
Our sources have corroborated evidence to identify our former anonymous source claiming credit for the global ransomware attack as a member of “The Well Ordered”, a suspected terrorist group which Nutrivend accuse of trying to source biological weapons.
A kill switch has apparently been found for the ransomware virus, which is no longer spreading through global banking systems. However, The Well Ordered have not come to an agreement with the US Government, and intend to continue their attacks to prove UN involvement in the Blight outbreak.
Pentagon unresponsive to pleas from Wabash national guard and liason – Wabash Governor Incommunicado - National Editor - 2:03 pm
National media has learned that the Wabash national guard and the local liason from the pentagon have repeatedly emailed the Pentagon asking for assistance. Unfortunately, despite the terrifying and deadly crisis, the Pentagon has not responded to the pleas for help. The horrifying situation is compounded by the Wabash Governor’s failure to communicate with the White House.
Roanoke Water PSA - Powhatan Editor - 2:03 pm
The City of Roanoke has still not recieved any help from the governor and Mayor David has been told he’s not a priority. The mayor would also like to announce that water is most likely the way that the disease travels between people in short term you should not touch water and long term if you use it in cooking or drinking boil first.
God’s Judgement? - Kanawha Reporter A - 2:03 pm
According to one Street Preacher in Huntington, the zombies are god’s judgement. I hope that’s true so my wife’s cheating finally catches up with her. I hate you Mindy. I always have.
Hospital of Erie releases half of its patients - Susquehannock Reporter D - 2:02 pm
The hospital in Erie managed to patch up more than half of its patients.
Martijn van Beek, the mayor of Erie who was wounded while defending his city, choose not to receive this special attention, as “the civilians of his city should come first”. The Mayor will continue trying to raise funds for hospitals. A large part of the medical personnel of the hospital of Erie is now sent to the hospital of Pittsburgh to offer their help and strengthen their ongoing cooperation.
BREAKING: Mysterious Man Rushes Into Badger News Building - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 2:02 pm
A severely injured man has rushed into our office in Madison amidst claims of mistreatment by the AIM corporation. While full details of events have yet to be released, our organisation will be working closely with Madison officials to insure this man’s safety until more details can be released.
“Holy War” in Cincinatti- Theocracy Rules - Ahao, Susannah - 2:01 pm
The “City of Cin” has declared a Holy War against the zombies, and citizens are marshalling at churches.
Prayers are being broadcast on the radio, and a “Chief Theologist for the Righteous”.
The Chief Theologist states that he is “praying for the righteous” and that he knows that God is faithful to his promises. He is praying for blessing.
National Guard deploys around Badger News Albany offices - Adirondack Political News - 2:00 pm
The National Guard has deployed around the Albany offices of Badger Press.
We would like to thank the brave men and women of the National Guard for protecting our right to bring you the latest information throughout this crisis.
mayor of Rockford for govenor - Iliniwek Sports - 1:59 pm
the Mayor of Rockford is running for govenor and he is taking and persuesding people to give him as many votes and as much money as he can.
National Govt. Wants Bakerstown’s Specimens - Kanawha Editor - 1:59 pm
An anonymous tip from the National Government has informed us that the National Government wants research specimens currently held in Bakerstown, but that the mayor will not give them up. Could this be a political play to strengthen his bid for president? There has certainly been a lot of conflicting and worrying news from Bakerstown this weekend.
Shawnee – A State to be proud of - Shawnee Editor - 1:58 pm
At such hard times, it’s often difficult to find any positivity. However, our humble state, where heroes like Shawn the Shawnee Shrub are born and raised, has once again made me proud to say I am a Shawneean
I started this day at a press conference where our own Governor Firefly braved Elizabethtown to announce their joint partnership and that with Louisville to minimalise casualties and support our emergency services. From their I followed her to Paducah, City of Angels, where she congratulated the Chief of Police, commending their integrity and grit in all that has happened. When pressed on what is next for our Chief of Police, she tells us she is “taking a well-earned rest.”
We hear reports that Louisville is researching a cure for the infection, with state and federal funding, and our hospitals are being extended to keep its citizens safe and healthy
All in all, Shawnee is blooming. Go Shrubs!
Oisconsin, Science- Necrotech close to cure - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 1:58 pm
Necrotech have been tirelessly working towards a cure for the undead and their scientists claim they are “on the verge of a breakthrough. We have almost finished work on early morphology but need more samples.” They have also confirmed that the undead can be revived.
What’s In Those Packages? - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 1:58 pm
As Governor A-Whole announces distribution of “assistance” to cities in the state, it’s hard not to wonder exactly what those packages really contain. Keep safe, citizens.
Nutrivend approached by militia groups - Mishigamaa Editor - 1:58 pm
Nutrivend have been approached by The Well Ordered hoping to source biological material from them. Apparently this militia group wish to use Zombie samples as a bio weapon. Nutrivend have reported this to the police and will not be co-operating with any militia groups in the future. CEO of Nutrivend has stated he is unhappy with police response and is concerned about the increasing power of Militia groups.
Bay City rumours abound - Mishigamaa Editor - 1:57 pm
Various reports coming out of Bay City at the moment.
City Hall confirm that they are conducting an investigation of the LexCorp research facility in the area, rumoured to be the secret source of the Blight outbreak.
LexCorp deny these rumours, saying that their facility is a standard research laboratory, well known about by the city government.
While City Hall are not on best terms with LexCorp, they have a closer working relationship with Weygand who are developing new weapons to fight the hordes without risk of civilian casualties. They are working together to send security and scientific teams to investigate the nature of the hordes.
Governor’s Statement - Wabash Editor - 1:56 pm
A statement has been released from the Governor’s office that Boyle is being evacuated for the cities of Fort Wayne and Terre Haute.
This follows reports of Emergency Services being overrun in Boyle and Richmond being on the verge of collapse.
Zombies spread to Minnesota and Iowa - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 1:56 pm
Reports of the Zed problem becoming under control in question as confirmation comes in of Zombies spreading to Minnesota and Iowa.
Breaking: Northland Army on its way to Adirondack - Adirondack Editor - 1:56 pm
An anonymous source in the White House has reported that the Northland Army is on its way to Adirondack to help the state fight off the infestation. They are to join State Police and National Guard in the fight against the Ombies.
Nutrivend Mishap - Kanawha Reporter A - 1:56 pm
Despite the Bakerstown Mayor officially stating that he is quite open to any shipments of Nutrivend, he has yet to receive any. The press secretary of Parkersburg has stated that Shipments are being sent to Bakerstown, but are being rejected by city officials. Nutrivend is claimed to cure the infection and cause resistance in uninfected individuals, but none has been put on the streets of Bakerstown where the infection is getting worse by the minute. There is a clear administrative failure here. If Nutrivend does what it claims to, why is bakerstown not recieving any?
BREAKING: Green Bay Mayor Roger Laidlaw Takes to Streets Armed with AXE - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 1:55 pm
Reports from Green Bay say their Mayor has rushed onto the streets armed with an axe to fight back the waves of zombies personally. This heroic move comes after a very large number of zombies laid waste to the city. The Democrat mayor decided that enough was enough, and that direct action was required. This Badger News reporter has found these inspiring stories comforting as Zombies have laid siege to our offices, knowing there is a person out there in the city working hard to wipe this menace off the map.
Population of Syracuse on the run – Army arrives in the state - Adirondack Political News - 1:55 pm
The population of Syracuse is on the run from the Ombie horde.
The people are fleeing towards the National Guard station near the city as there are no other authorities defending them.
Meanwhile, reports have reached us that the 10th Mountain division of the US Army has reached the National Guard station to assist in the ongoing battle.
Govenor refutes accusations of political gamesmanship - Iliniwek Sports - 1:55 pm
The govenor has accused Joliet’s Mayor of political gameplaying, and (not megagame playing Rockford – I’m looking at you), and is on the record denying links to Necrotec.
Ben, where-ever you are contact your drinking buddies at
we need you.
Governor Stalling Federal Assistance - Parker Biro Wabash - 1:54 pm
Homeland Security, FBI, and Fed Military state that the Governor is stalling federal assistance. The Governor has yet to contact the White House to call for assistance thus blocking assistance.
Breaking: State of Emergency Declared!! - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 1:54 pm
During a recent press conference Governor of Oinsconsin declares state of emergency. the Governor did stay around long enough for any questions to be asked and amidst a ripple of disapproval he slopes away.
What has this state come to?
Bakerstown Chief of Police Says: “Even in these trying times, we support the first amendment right to free speech and to protest” - Kanawha Editor - 1:51 pm
A-Whole demands closure of “secret” lab in Mishigamaa - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 1:49 pm
Is Governor Hollman worried that research being undertaken in Mishigamaa could lead to a cure for the infection too soon, impacting his true plans to take advantage of the situation?
Deputy Governor Rutherford released a statement today which can be read to back up the theory, suggesting that the plot may involve more than just our “fine” Governor: “Under our strong leadership this sort of dangerous experimentation would not be permitted.”
Mishigamaa State Police response to outbreak - Mishigamaa Editor - 1:48 pm
Corroborated reports from across the state confirm that the State Police are seeing great success in dealing with violence and infected hordes, but are being very selective in their deployments.
Romero City is completely cleared of riots, while smaller towns such as Iron Mountain are overrrun and ignored by the State Police.
Talks with Feds to increase their capabilities and spread their influence further in the state, but how will they use this power? Rumoured to be conscripting veterans – but claim to be just accepting volunteers.
Meanwhile, the National Guard deny rumours that they are planning on using Tactical Nuclear Weapons to control outbreak. Reports from an anonymous high-up source says that they may in fact be selling these devices to corporations instead of using them to defend the populace. This links in with rumors in Romero City about radioactive material.
Vigilante Savior? - Kanawha Reporter A - 1:47 pm
Unverified reports of a masked man in a red outfit destroying infected hordes have been appearing across social media
- Kanawha Editor - 1:46 pm
Update on Cities- Ahao - Ahao, Susannah - 1:44 pm
- Lowest panic in all cities
- No state of emergency declared
- Several fires
- Widespread infection
- Casualties reported
- Chief of police wounded
- State of emergency not declared
- Not supporting neighbours
- Live specimen caught
- Casualties reported
- State of emergency declared
- Badger News HQ Abandon
- Widespread panic
- Multiple fires
- “Lost control”
- “Plenty” of casualties
- State of emergency not declared- “boys in blue left to fight alone”
- West of city safe
- Accepting refugees from neighbours
- Fires and Looting
- Hospitals fine
- State of emergency declared
- No fires
- Widespread infection
- 3 casualties
- Cure being researched
BREAKING: Attack on Second Amendment Rights in Findlay - Ahao - Naomi Young - 1:44 pm
FINDLAY, AHAO: We have multiple reports of state police knocking on doors asking if anyone has any guns and that the state governor has requested local citizens donate ammo to police. This is a blatant attack on second amendment rights.
We have been told that in Cleveland the police are using helicopters to shoot down hordes.
Governor Jon Scandal - Powhatan Editor - 1:44 pm
The Cities of Powhatan are disapointed in their governor Jon who they believe is trying to limit the amount of funds he is putting out so he can save some for his presidential campaign Mayor David Ellis told Governor Jon that he was declaring a state of emergency and that he needed national guard troops and that he declared a emergency but the next day after the outbreak spread their were still no troops so Mayor David asked him about where the guard was and governor Jon said that he never declared a emergency. The cities believe that they are working very well toghether but that Governor Jon is not helping even with a bit of Governor Jon’s help Savini Palace still has had no deaths
Bakerstown Chief of Police Coddling Protesters? - Kanawha Editor - 1:43 pm
An anonymous source has informed us that the Bakerstown Chief of Police is “coddling protesters, and they turned into zombies.” The source then promptly left our office. We do not know what this means, or if it is even true, but it is our duty to inform you of everything that happens in this state.
Governor unsatisefied with whitehouse communications - Susquehannock Reporter E - 1:43 pm
Governor Verbeek is officially lodging a complaint against the white house due to what he percieves as “slow and unclear communications”. “the president is sacrificing human lives for political gain”, so his press speaker says. To take matters into his own hands he promised to import drinking water from uninfected neighbourstates.
Allentown making progress - Susquehannock Reporter A - 1:43 pm
Allentown captured a zombie last friday and did some research on it. This has resulted in better bullets for the police, making them more effective in fighting zombies. The help from the state in the form of the national guards also makes a difference, they have retaken part of Allentown by kicking some zombie ass.
Other news from Allentown:
- Local hero saves 3 baby’s from zombie horde, and thanks the mayor for his fighting inspiration.
- Mayor rescues badger building in person with police help.
- It is rumoured the president will come to Allentown to show support.
For The Whole Of America… except Cincinnatti? - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 1:42 pm
Do Governor Hollman’s actions during the crisis indicate a lack of concern for Ahao’s second city?
By hesitating to act decisively in declaring a state-wide State of Emergency, has Governor Hollman endangered the lives of citizens? Or worse?
A senior source within Cincinnatti PD believes that the lack of state and national resources deployed in the city is part of a deliberate plan involving the Governor to harm Mayor Raymond, Hollman’s main political opponent in Ahao.
As I write this, news reaches me that the governor’s office is instructing citizens to drink only bottled water supplied by the National Guard. Does this, perhaps, form part of a sinister plot to influence the citizens of this fine state – this fine country – by nefarious means? Couple this with the seizing of ammunition and erosion of Second Amendment rights and the picture of opportunism and power grabs by the elected officials in whom we have placed our trust becomes extremely compelling.
Corruption in City Hall. - Ahao Editor - 1:42 pm
FRESNADILLO UNIVERSITY, AHAO:- This reporter has the misfortune to report that the Mayor of Cincinatti, Kyle Raymond has just attempted to bribe a member of Badger News Corporation staff in order to influence our coverage of his office. Once again we at BNC Ahao would like to tell our readers our editorial control is our own. We call for an investigate into the Mayor to begin as soon as is practicable after the current crisis has been resolved.
Encouraged To Take Up Arms - Kanawha Reporter A - 1:41 pm
Mayor of Bakerstown Alex Neggler and Governor Noah Crow plan to instruct the citizens of Kanawha to take up arms against the infected menace destroying our towns. Later today, a press conference will officially send citizens out in droves to destroy the infected individuals with their own weapons and tools.
London struggling with zombie menace - Northland Editor - 1:40 pm
London has been seeing large numbers of the undead in their city. “The issue is being dealt with carefully, we are taking appropriate measures and there is no need to be concerned.” Reports the mayor. “For now.”
“No citizens have been attacked.” He adds, responding to reports of firing on infected citizens.
Vice-Governor Arrested - Wabash Editor - 1:40 pm
The former Vice-Governor of Wabash has been arrested on alleged corruption charges.
Rather than looking towards his replacement, key political office holders are eyeing up the governor’s seat.
GLOBAL BANKING ATTACK - Mishigamaa Editor - 1:40 pm
The Mishigamaa press office has been contacted by an organisation claiming to be responsible for the “WannaBeFree” ransomware attack affecting global financial systems.
“We have hijacked the global financial system. We understand there is a conspiracy behind this ‘zombie virus’ outbreak, and that the UN is behind it. We demand that the United Nations and Federal Government step up and reveal their plans. Until they do, we will refuse to release the global financial systems from our control.”
This comes from an anonymous source who did not wish to be named.
BREAKING: Secret Lab in Bay City origin of outbreak - Mishigamaa Editor - 1:40 pm
A source wishing to be described only as “a patriot” has informed this paper that they believe the source of the outbreak across the entire nation is a secret lab situated in the Bay City area in Mishigamaa.
This information is gained by the source through interrogating captured infected persons.
If true, then is this, as suspected by some, the result of state experimentation or corporations meddling with nature in the name of profit?
Benardis appeals for help - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 1:39 pm
Mayor Benardis administration is doing everything possible to keep things in control in surrounding cities, however the capital city is now under attack and is believed to be a major target.
The Mayor has appealed for state and Military presence.
Aurora the truth - Iliniwek Sports - 1:38 pm
Aurora is going down i repeat Aurora is in trouble The Zomies have compleatly infested the whole west side of the country and the eatside is just hanging on by a thread what will they do now what will the Govener do now?
BREAKING: Spokesman: “Drink bottled water” - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 1:37 pm
A government spokesperson has instructed citizens to drink only bottled water which is being distributed by the National Guard, stating that “the virus is water-borne”
Prime minster reaches out to first nations - Northland Editor - 1:36 pm
The prime minister has put out a request to first nations on both sides of the border for help with security and support in these trying times.
The office also mentioned plans to send troops south of the border to assist.
Governor infected?! - Adirondack Editor - 1:36 pm
Recent statements of the Governor’s office stated that the National Guard had secured the State House. However our flying reporters send us disturbing images from the scene! It looks like the Governor is completely surrounded by the Ombie Hordes!
Is the Governor already infected and trying to strong-arm Badger News into publicizing fake news?! Footage from the scene:
Mass panic in Yarbourgh - Susquehannock Reporter E - 1:35 pm
Mass panic broke out in Yarbough because of an increase of police brutality due to riots. Roughly a third of the poice force has left their post to tend to their families. The hospital of Yarbourgh is now overrun with the infected. The Mayor of Yarbourgh expressed his discontend with the governor due to a lack of help and communcation in the crisis.
Governor Jon Relieves CIties - Powhatan Editor - 1:35 pm
Governor Jon has placed a annoucement that he will give relief packages to cities causing the panic level of his citizens to lower, also a small amount of his police force to Savini Palace on the border with Charlottes Ville
BREAKING: WABASH HAS FALLEN - National Reporter A - 1:35 pm
ERRATA- We would like to apologise for referring to the state of Wabash incorrectly as ‘Boyle’, as we were quoting verbatim from the President (who apparently had a ‘covfefe’ moment, bless her)
BREAKING NEWS: The city of Wabash has fallen to the ‘infectious disease’ that has been sweeping America. The President has expressed that her thoughts are with the city, but does not see the need to declare a state of emergency just yet.
Governors of cities overrun by infection are urged to reach out to the Federal Government to request for aid. The President made reference to cities who have previously showed resistance to federal aid, and continued that Governors and the Federal Government should be on a two-way street as the Federal Government will not be able to provide aid effectively if information is not volunteered to the Government in the first instance.
The President continued that the Government desperately needs more information to “understand the situation”, but assured this paper that the Federal Government is prepared and adequately supplied to extend aid to cities upon request.
When pressed further, the President refused to comment on the the two captured specimens. However, from a separate conversation this paper had with FEMA, we understand FEMA is reaching out for help from corporations to aid the Government in its time of need, with regard research on the captured specimens. The President is, however, still debating if the famed 4th July Picnic on the Gardens should still go on.
The conversation with the President and FEMA underscores the current state of turmoil within the White House, as lack of information and panic permeates through each level of the Administration.
God bless America.
Joint task force set up in Dayton - Ahao - Naomi Young - 1:33 pm
DAYTON, AHAO: In a combined effort to deal with the “Complex Situations” the police and emergency services have created a joint task force.
Bakerstown Chief NOT BITTEN - Kanawha Editor - 1:33 pm
Officials form Bakerstown have told us that earlier reports that their chielf of police, Shy Ruparel, was bitten are in fact false. He has spoken with us, and reassured us taht they are doing their “darn tootin best” to protect their citizens and share information and best practices with neighboring towns. Mr. Ruparel says his political opponents are likely behind the lies, saying the move was “immature, inappropriate, and insensitive”.
Link found between Iliniwek govener and Necrotech - Iliniwek Sports - 1:32 pm
We have managed to decrypt the cloud drive of investigative journalist Ben Hanser, we can reveal he was investigating links between Guv’nor Jim’s campaign funds and the Multinational Necrotec,
This journalist would like to see the FBI follow this up.
Mayor of Pittsburgh accused of treason - Susquehannock Reporter A - 1:32 pm
The Pentagon is not happy with the mayor of Pittsburgh sending his population to the nearby Air Force Base. According to their spokesperson, the mayor “commits treason” by doing this, because the base is of vital importance to the entire state of Susquehannock.
Racine Remain Calm in Chaos - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 1:32 pm
Amid reports of the rumored state wide state of emergency Racine Mayor James Wiggins stands calm. Not only have Racine appeared to have dealt the all threats thrown at them in what this day may be remember as “Day Z” but they have opened they’re doors to receive those seeking shelter and safety.
In a statement the Mayor says he has “no faith in state governance” and believes the talk of “state wide state of emergency is unnecessary”
Is he a man of the people? a modern hero maybe? or someone who is only in touch with Racine and not the wider State?
Homeland Security asks: “What is Governor Deurinck doing?” - Adirondack Political News - 1:30 pm
What is our governor doing?
Several parts of the government are concerned by the performance of Governor Deurinck.
Homeland Security has communicated that the Governor is failing to instruct and coordinate their efforts to combat the zombie outbreak.
This comes on top of the previous reports about the Governor choosing to evacuate his family and forcing the Albany city authorities to abandon key public buildings to the zombie horde.
In the opinion of Badger News, this can only mean one thing: the Governor is not fit for his job. How he ever want to convince people now that he would be qualified to run for president remains a mystery to us.
State of the state: Mishigamaa - Mishigamaa Editor - 1:30 pm
Quick round-up update on Mishigamaa cities.
– State of Emergency declared
– Mostly under control
– Joint cooperation between city, state, federal governments, and corporations
– Chief of Police under federal investigation
– Mayor running for President
– Have captured Blighted
– Low infestation rate
– City working closely with Nutrivend
– “Undead” animals discovered and disposed of
– Recent resurgence of Blighted humans
– Reports of deaths in hospitals
– Losing corporate funding
– State of Emergency declared
– Controlled by state- and corporate-sponsored militia
– Militia seizing corporate facilities
– Civilians mostly protected
– Have captured Blighted
– Almost entirely overrun
– Suffering due to under funding of Police
– State officials giving weapons to militia
Pohatan is uniting under crisis. - Powhatan Editor - 1:30 pm
Roanoke has declared a state of emergency but has received no troops. The mayor of Roanoke has informed me that this is keeping up with his pattern. On the contrary the governor says that Roanoke was to slow to inform him. And the there is the fact that mayors of Charlottes Ville, Roanoke, and Savini Palace are working closely together to help their citizens. Roanoke has even given Necrotech money to research the infection.
Reports of Zombie Horde movements nationally. - Ahao Editor - 1:29 pm
FRESNADILLO UNIVERSITY, AHAO:- BREAKING Reports are coming in of hordes of zombies moving across the nation. One group is marching on Washington DC from the direction of Charlotteville. Other reports show that Richmond is under attack and the Doyle City, Wabash has fallen to the horde.
Fresnadillo Heads complain of “Unfair Treatment” - Ahao, Susannah - 1:29 pm
The goverment of Fresnadillo has called for fairer treatment in regards to distribution of resources. State Government has stated that that only cities that have declared a state of emergency will recieve National Guard support.
Fresnadillo has also stated that refugees from other cities are still welcome to shelter in the safe haven of the west of the city.
National guard finally arrives in Albany! - Adirondack Editor - 1:27 pm
According to Gov. Tim Duerinck the National guard has secured the neighborhood around the state house and the governor and staff returned successfully to the state house. State police safeguards local
hospital for the local citizens.
The Government askes people to not panic and closely follow instructions from police and emergency services!
Louisville and Elizabethtown State of Emergency - Shawnee Editor - 1:26 pm
The National Guard have surveyed the city of Elizabethtown and have advised that, due to the close proximity of the “youths” and adverse conditions in the city, they would be able and willing to help further if they declared a state of emergency. This is not surprising as sources close to the Chief of Police express concerns in their competency, as they yo-yo the police force to and from Paducah.
Meanwhile, Louisville have declared an official state of emergency. Mayor Mayoh tells us they are arming and deploying the National Guard, but they are having difficulty triaging the wounded, and tell us that any increase could be a serious problem indeed
Governor Firefly is happy that the National Guard are properly funded, and the National Guard in turn are pleased with the increase of resources coming their way, despite stating “we are desparately in need of more helicopters.”
We Shawneans need to stand together in this adversity. We support our fellow citizens against youths. Governor Firefly will see us safe
Bakerstown Release - Kanawha Editor - 1:26 pm
Cincinnatti Mayor: “I’m Sick” - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 1:26 pm
As he declared a city-wide State of Emergency, was the Mayor also declaring that he personally has become infected?
Parkersburg Fights Back - Kanawha Reporter A - 1:25 pm
Despite a massive attack on Parkersburg, the city was well defended. Attacks ranging from level 1 to level 4 have been either eradicated or reduced to a low level attack.
Boyle City Hall Update - Wabash Editor - 1:25 pm
In opposition to the National news reports, the members of Boyle City Hall are emphatically assuring the local populace that all is under control, despite the chaos on the city’s streets.
It spreads through water! - Susquehannock Reporter E - 1:24 pm
The researchers at Allentown university have discovered that the virus spreads to water. This discovery was made possible by increased funding by Governor Verbeek. The population is advised to stay away from rivers and watermains and not to drink the tab water.
Susquehannock state police HQ overrun! - Susquehannock Reporter A - 1:24 pm
We got a report that the Susquehannock state police HQ is overrun by zombies. Obviously they are not able to communicate this themselves.
We want to add that although two of our Susquehannock offices were overrun, too, we are still reporting!
Police Resigns - Powhatan Editor - 1:24 pm
In Charlottes Ville The police have stopped protecting their citizens against the large zombie horde filling the entirety of their city. The people have decided that if the police won’t protect them then they will themselves. Thus the peoples militia came into being fighting back themselves against the zombie horde
Wright City Mayor Assists Distressed Citizens - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 1:22 pm
Reports of heroism from the Mayor of Wright City have inspired citizens of the city. The mayor, who has been issuing orders on the ground alongside his emergency services, has been praised by residents for his willingness to get stuck in with the effort to repel zombies from the city.
States of Emergency Declared in Cleveland and Cincinatti. - Ahao Editor - 1:22 pm
FRESNADILLO UNIVERSITY, AHAO:- States of emergency have been declared in the cities of Cleveland and Cincinatti. Advice to citizens is to shelter in place and to not contact emergency services unless in a life threatening situation.
BREAKING: State of Emergency declared across the state - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 1:22 pm
Governor Hollman has declared a state-wide State of Emergency, after local officials did similar in Cincinnatti and Cleveland.
The Governor has already called in the National Guard to support local law enforcement in “suppressing insurgents”.
Wright City plea! - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 1:21 pm
Fire Officer of Wright City Jenny pleads that anyone with fire hoses to please donate them in the fight to keep the flames at bay.
Press Statement from the Governor - Adirondack Editor - 1:21 pm
Following press statement was released by the Governor’s office:
The state governor has pressured Mayor Henk of Albany to surrender the
western part of the city and relocate towards City Hall. The western
district of the city houses, amongst others, the local Mercy Hospital and
the State Hall, two major components of Albany society.
By giving the order to relocate, the governor urges the state police forces
to abandon State Hall and the Mercy Hospital, despite resident patients
being in care.
Mayor Henk of Albany: “I firmly believe that it is irresponsible to abandon
core infrastructure of our city in favour of personal security, and we will
continue our city services’ efforts to secure our major services and ensure
continued care for the sick and ill. Not only is this important for our
city, but for a stable state as a whole.”
Northland welcomes refugees! - Northland Editor - 1:21 pm
The office of the prime minister has issued a statement saying that refugees are always welcome in Northland. “We have great concern about the infected, but we have things under control and are keeping visitors quarantined in Cornwall. Our friends to the south are suffering worse problems than we are and it’s our responsibility to help.”
Helperin Mayor trapped!!!! - Iliniwek Sports - 1:21 pm
The Helperin Mayor is Trapped by ZOMBIES !! Rescue is immenent
Will she come out of this alive????
Ouisconsin, Green Bay- Green Bay Governor refuses to accept Whitehouse support - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 1:20 pm
Sources close to the mayor of green bay have expressed concerns of the governor as he refuses to declare a state of emergency. Despite the city being in a catastrophic state the White House is unable to deploy forces due to the governors inaction. “[The Governor] should get his ass down here”
BAKERSTOWN CHIEF OF POLICE BITTEN - Kanawha Editor - 1:19 pm
The chief of police in Bakerstown has been bitten by one of the reanimated. His current condition is yet unknown to Kanawha Press, but we will keep you informed as it develops.
Riots in Albany - Adirondack Political News - 1:18 pm
Badger Press has obtained some life footage from the ongoing riots and looting in Albany in outrage after the Governor’s relocation.
Breaking: Fresnadillo Mayor orders extrajudicial imprisonment of citizen - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 1:18 pm
The mayor of Fresndaillo has reportedly issued an order to “capture” a citizen, in order to force them to “liase” with the CDC in Atlanta. A spokesman indicated that the order had already been carried out, demonstrating a gross violation of due process in America’s heartland.
madison collaboration - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 1:18 pm
madison emergency services collaborate with green bay to put out fires in city.
Director of Homeland Security “Does not need warrant to act upon American Citizens” - Ahao - Naomi Young - 1:18 pm
CINCINATTI, AHAO: The Mayor of Cincinatti has told Badger that the Director of Homeland security has said he does not need a warrant to act upon American Citizens.
Pittsburgh evacuates! - Susquehannock Reporter A - 1:17 pm
The mayor of Pittsburgh has ordered the full evacuation of Pittsburgh due to the Z situation. He announced everyone should evacuate to the Air Force Base to the east of the city, because it is a more defensable location, were he “can stop the line of infestation”.
The police and the emergency services will help to make the evacuation proceed as smoothly as possible.
Savini Palace Clear of Zombies - Powhatan Editor - 1:17 pm
In Savini Palace, Bruce the chief of police and Joel police ops have been doing a great job using a very efficient system to take out the infestation in record time making their city clean of zombie. A good bit of this is due to how Mayor Mike redid the police communication system. The way that they cleared the zombies also allows them to more easily aid other cities since they have spaces open. They also send their thoughts to their neighboring state who have declared a state of emergency
BREAKING: Locals fire on Federal building in Susquehannock - National Editor - 1:16 pm
It has come to our attention that local forces belonging to the Susquehannock state have opened fire on a federal building. Reports are sketchy at present but we hope to have more as soon as possible.
Is this a federal crime or the start of something far more sinister?
BREAKING: Undead Crocodile discovered in Grand Rapids, Mishigamaa - Mishigamaa Editor - 1:15 pm
A press statement from the Mayor of Grand Rapids says that the city is now clear of infestation. Partnering with Nutrivend (who have their HQ based in Grand Rapids)
They have discovered the Blight has spread to other animals – an undead crocodile discovered in the sewers, flights of rotting crows, etc. However, they have now been cleared out and Nutrivend are close to discovering a cure.
Correction – Yarbourgh Mayor fires Chief of Police - Susquehannock Reporter E - 1:15 pm
Yarbourghs chief of police was not reliefed from service as previousely reported due to his preformance, rather because he lies hospital due to injuries he suffered in the fight against the zombies, which rendered him unable to continue in his position as chief of police.
Mishigamaa collapse? - Wabash Editor - 1:12 pm
The governor of Richmond reports that the state of Mishigamaa has failed in its efforts to contain the Zombie horde, and that Richmond is now exposed to the new threat at it sweeps towards Wabash.
This occurs as the Mayors of Wabash hold secret meetings without the governors presence.
Secret Meeting of Mayors - Parker Biro Wabash - 1:12 pm
Secret meeting of mayors currently underway without governer…
Is Law and Order breaking down in Fresnadillo? - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 1:12 pm
Amid rumours that Fresnadillo’s trigger-happy Chief of Police is calling for the formation of a citizens’ militia, local Chief of Emergency Services Daniel Burkle (speaking as fire officers dealt with a blaze threatening Badger’s local headquarters) slammed the plans as “incredibly ill-advised” and said that he trusts they will not be “officially implemented”.
Zombies in School! - Kanawha Editor - 1:11 pm
Social media has been exploding with news of “Zombies” overrunning local high schools. Mayor Alex Nagler has suggested that the teenage zombies should be dealt with by playing pop music, rather than with sending legitimate forces to control the infestation. In these pressing times, we have to hope our governments have our best interest in mind, and will do what they can to protect our children.
Breaking: Mass panic in Allentown - Susquehannock Reporter A - 1:11 pm
The city of Allentown, in Susquehannock, has been caught in a mass panic situation due to an unannounced artillery attack on the city. It is believed the attack was made to contain the Z spread.
The national guard are also helping to contain the spread and pushing back the horde.
ZOMBIE CURE BREAKTHROUGH - Ahao, Susannah - 1:11 pm
There has been a breakthrough in research for a cure for the zombies currently overrunning the country.
Scientists there have discovered the prescence of Pithovirus Sibericum B in one of the corpses. Research will continue.
The Mayor says that the situation is currently under control, and that Cleveland is “proud to lead the way in scientific research”.
There are rumours of other cures being developed, including Fresnadillo claming a working relationship with Neurotech to combat the outbreak.
STATE OF EMERGENCY DECLARED: Kenosha is falling!! - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 1:10 pm
A state of emergency has been declared by Kenosha. amid reports of evacuation we can confirm that Racine Mayor has opened his doors to Kenosha.
Dayton emergency services sent medical staff to CDC - Ahao - Naomi Young - 1:10 pm
DAYTON, AHAO: The chief of emergency services advised that Medical staff have been sent to the CDC to help investigation of the infestation. He requests that all doctors and nurses report to Mercy Hospital as, while there are still beds available, it is filling up fast.
Niagara under control! - Northland Editor - 1:10 pm
The mayor of Niagara has stressed that they are dealing with the local zombie menace effectively, in cooperation with the chief of police. There are currently zero reports of zombies in Niagara. Everything’s fine, how are you?
Hollman, A-hole of America - Ahao Editor - 1:09 pm
FRESNADILLO, AHAO:- The Governor of Ahao has continued to campaign for presidential office as part of the republican primary process despite the ongoing disturbances in the state. including photo opportunities and the following statement released by his deputy.
“Republicans across Ahao have been uniting behind Governor Hollman as republican presidential nominee. Our respected colleague, the Mayor of Cincinatti, has also announced his political ambitions. I have great respect for the Mayor of Cincinatti, and am sure that he will one day make a fine presidential candidate. Given the developing events it is important that citizens across the State work together, and support the fine work that our current Governor is doing.”
This news outlet is calling for an immediate cessation of all campaigning for presidential, gubernatorial and mayoral in order to allow state and city officials to effectively deal with the crisis.
Wabash in Official State of Emergency - Parker Biro Wabash - 1:08 pm
Wabash has now entered a State of Emergency. The city of Boyle is under direct control as the Mayor and D. Mayor have been arrested by the National Guard.
N.Guard are defending Boyle and F. Wayne and are champing at the bit to get on with the job of supporting our citizens. Currently waiting on military support and executive over site.
Romero City beats back hordes while Spearing declares State of Emergency! - Mishigamaa Editor - 1:07 pm
Reports are coming in from multiple sources that despite initial problems with effective deployment of police, Romero City has now been cleared of the “Alternatively Animated” hordes.
The Police Chief has eased off double shifts, but is reported to be the subject of a federal investigation alleging that he ordered the shooting of civilians. City Hall stands behind its chief of police at this time. City Hall spokes person stated “People are innocent until proven guilty”.
On Sunday there will be a local “citizens of the future” event to look forward to an optimistic future.
Why has the state abandoned smaller cities in order to protect Romero? Is this the result of corporate meddling? LexCorp has recently moved HQ to Romero, and apparently other corporations are in similar talks.
BREAKING: City of Spearing is in process of declaring a state of emergency following advice from the National Guard. Several Zs have been captured and are available for research.
White House Begs for Help from Corporations - National Editor - 1:06 pm
The National Media has learned that the White House has begged for help from major corporations as the federal government appears unable to do anything to treat the infected (definitely not “zombies” according to repeated messages from the administration despite evidence to the contrary).
The full statement from the White House to the corporations is as follows:
Ladies and Gentlemen
By now you have no.doubt heard about the virus crisis facing the country.
As a representative of Homeland Security, FEMA and the CDC we are
requesting your help. You have access to advanced research facilities that
can assist us in isolating the cause for this epidemic, I am asking you to
share them with us, in return for whatever materials is we can supply and
any commercial uses that arise from this research.
Specifically one of our agents is holding two infected in Adirondack, we
need a facility to study them and develop treatments.
Your country needs you.
— US Department of Homeland Security
Security Crisis Team
Relief Fund for Infected Families - Kanawha Editor - 1:06 pm
Cindy “Sure Hand” Simon , mayor of Parkersburg, announced a relief fund for families affected by illness. Nutrivend, the company behind the reported cure, has promised to assist in this fund. “Due to the strong leaders hip of Simon, Nutrivend is prepared to support this humanitarian effort tin these challenging times.”
- Powhatan Editor - 1:04 pm
There are many problems going on in Powhatan. Charlottes Ville and Roanoke (The two cities facing the worst of it.) are petitioning the governor to declare a statewide emergency. To which he is refusing in an effort to help his election. But if he doesn’t the state could face what Charlottes Ville is facing now. Why is he putting the election above his own people?
Charlottes ville is Repairing - Powhatan Editor - 1:04 pm
Charlottes Ville has gotten a lot of help from other cities allowing them to get out of the trench they were in and defeat the virus that is making the “Zombies” they would also like to declare to all of their citizens to stay in their homes and not watch the purge of the Zombies that most cities and the National guard who recently deployed to see how much of a difference they could make are participating in.
Spearing abandoned by authorities - Mishigamaa Editor - 1:03 pm
Reports say that the local militia group known as the “Fists of Jebus” have stepped in where the security services have failed. This local Militia group as succeeded in gaining control of Weygand Corporation, have captured a live Z specimen and been deputized in the state of Mishigamaa. What else will these heroes achieve next?
Update: statement from The Free Militia
“The Free Militia go way back with Fist of Jebus. They will be fighting side by side to defend the State!”
Bay City office of Badger News under Zombie Siege! - National Editor - 1:03 pm
National media has learned from our own correspondents that our colleagues in Bay City are under current attack from zombies. In this time of crisis, we strongly believe that it is important to keep the press safe so that necessary information can be distributed throughout the country and worldwide. We call upon both local and federal authorities to move immediately to save our friends and colleagues or spend the rest of their lives knowing that the blood is on their hands.
Breaking: Joint Chiefs spotted at local Golf Course - National Reporter A - 1:02 pm
This reporter was unable to talk with any Pentagon Official as he was told they were relaxing on the golf course.
With so many outbreaks reported and so many people being infected, is now a good time to be relaxing!!
We were told to talk to the White House for any news we needed to know.
Breaking: state governor on the run in Albany - Adirondack Editor - 1:01 pm
Governor Tim Duerinck is evacuating himself and his family to the city hall in Albany.
In the city, panic is breaking out in reaction to his relocation. People believe that the city is lost, that the governor is giving up the city. They strongly feel the governor is abandoning them.
The governor however states that he is moving only to protect his people and to free more ressources for their safety.
Ombies are not only reported in the surroundings of the governor’s mansion, but also in the suburbs. The national guard has still not arrived as it is present in New Amsterdam.
BREAKING NEWS: KENOSHA EVACUATE - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 1:01 pm
Breaking: we have information from a solid source that Kenosha Mayor is making plans to evacuate the city and head for Racine.
Quoted source “mayor walking around with some kind of god complex, taking selfies hitting dead zombies, what a salad”
“kenosha needs help from the Military”
Bay City overrun with Alternatively Animated - Mishigamaa Editor - 1:00 pm
Observers have observed 8 separate hordes spreading through Bay City. Panic is rising among the civilian populace, and the hordes are spreading around key areas – malls, hospitals, government buildings, etc. Two office buildings have been destroyed. City emergency services are apparently unable to cope with the outbreaks.
Reports say that the State has abandoned the city to the hordes, and that the Governor has dropped her presidential candidacy in order to save face.
Admin Conflict in Terre Haute - Parker Biro Wabash - 1:00 pm
Questions as to commitment of the Chief of Police have arisen as he looks to have shown a cold shoulder to the sharing resources between cities.
White House Deploys to Adirondack - National Editor - 12:59 pm
We have received the following statement from the White House:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
The White House has received a request for assistance from Governor Tim
Duerinck of Adirondack to deploy federal armed forces to assist state
National Guard. This request has been approved. The forces will be at the
We have seen reports in the press that we are considering the deployment
of armed drones. This is not true. We have deployed reconnaissance drones
to better understand the situation. We are not currently considering the
deployment of armed drones.
Press Conference: Governor Firefly - Shawnee Editor - 12:59 pm
Today Shawnee Governor Firefly has called a press conference in Wiederhorn to reassure her citizens of their safety. She tells us that everything is under control, and that she has full confidence in her cities. However, she is working on generating extra assistance for the youth plague.
As for the matter of the national guard, she stated “we don’t need the national guard in our cities.”
In other news, nearby Louisville is crumbling under the pressure of the youths. The unarmed national guard, stationed there for a parade, are begging to be mobilised, and speak of worries for their own safety. They are “just waiting to be casualties.” But all is OK, because we don’t need them anyway, right Governor Firefly?
For more information, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can be sure in
Hugo Lewkowicz and Alex Montrose
Ouisconsin, Ouisconsin, Racine- “We are doing what we can, if that requires working with Necrotech so be it” - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 12:59 pm
The chief of police has openly admitted to working with Necrotech, however he refused to comment as to what that relationship entailed. Necrotech also refused to comment on the live captives their holdng.
Virus as cause for the outbreaks confirmed - Susquehannock Reporter E - 12:59 pm
Analyzis of the casualties of the outbreakes have resulted in the discovery of a virus which is presumed to be responsible. Further research has started in order to develope a cure. The mayor of Allentown calls the discovery, which was made at Allentown University “preliminary”. Harmen, the head of emergency services is also leading this research. Financial support from the governemnt would be appreciated in order to accelerate the discoverie of an antivirus.
Drones sighted over Susquehannock! - Susquehannock Reporter A - 12:58 pm
People are phoning in that they see military drones overflying their homes and their cities. What are they going to do? Are they going to fight the “Z” people? How are they going to discriminate between the Z-infected and the healty people?
State Governor Speaks out Against Domestic Flight Ban - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 12:57 pm
the governor has spoken out against the federal government’s decision to ground all domestic flights around the US as “a severe federal overreach”. He also calls for no more talking around the issues, saying “dead is dead, they’re not undead Americans, or medically challenged, let’s call them what they are”.
Kanawha State of Emergency - Kanawha Editor - 12:57 pm
Kanawha Governor Noah Crow announces that the state of kanawha is officially in a state of emergency. The governor acted fast to get ahead of the situation and emergency services appreciate the support. Citizens have been instructed to stay indoors.
WHITE HOUSE FINALLY RESPONDS - National Reporter A - 12:57 pm
The Governor of Adirondack has requested federal troops to aid his battle against the infected population, commonly referred to as “zombies”.
Troops will be deployed under a local commander… let’s hope this is not too late to help those still unaffected by the outbreak.
Too many Governors! Head of State Police, Mayors of Rockford running - Iliniwek Sports - 12:56 pm
In the wake of ‘The Zombie Crisis’ the mayor of Rockford and the Head of State have thrown their hats into the ring in the fight for the governors office. Whilst this reporter believes that real fight is in the streets the political battle has well and truly begun. The HoSP has the full and unequivocal backing of the mayor of Springfield, possibly the only mayor to deal with this crisis quickly and efficiently.
Meanwhile ‘Lying’ Jim Gillie has been quoted as saying ‘IT DOESN’T LOOK GOOD FOR YOUR FAMILIES’
Hollman – “I’m running for President” - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 12:56 pm
FRESNADILLO, AH: Long-serving State Governor Hollman today officially announced what we’ve all suspected for a while – he’s been maneuvering to launch a bid for the Presidency.
Announcing his candidacy for the Republican nomination, the Governor unveiled his slogan; “Hollman – For The Whole of America”.
Hollman is claiming cross-party support for his centrist position, citing the Democrat Toledo Chief of Police as a backer. Speaking to me earlier from outside a hospital in the city, the Chief said he was “prepared to draw his weapon, if necessary”.
Pledging her support for the governor, Cleveland’s Mayor also announced that she would seek the gubernatorial role should he be successful in obtaining the nomination.
Forth Worth – Military Intervention - Parker Biro Wabash - 12:55 pm
Report from Forth Worth Mayor states that they have quested and received military intervention to take back the city hospital which has been overrun.
Evacuation of New Amsterdam South district - Adirondack Editor - 12:54 pm
New Amsterdam Mayor, Chief of Police and Emergency Services have issued an order for people living in the south of New Amsterdam to relocate to the city Center in the North District.
We believe that this is due to the rising level of Ombies in this area.
Press interview with the President - National Reporter A - 12:53 pm
In an exclusive interview with the President, she insisted that the widely reported outbreak of “zombies” should rather be regarded as an infectious disease, but confirmed that the cause has yet to be identified.
Governor Wants All Cities to Declare a Emergency - Powhatan Editor - 12:52 pm
Governor Jon of Powhatan wants all of his cities that are at risk to declare a state of emergency so that he can more easily aid all of the cities. He plans to add new roads to most cities so he can more easily move survivors to help and increase the infrastructure.
Situation in Fresnadillo Escalates and recovers. - Ahao Editor - 12:52 pm
FRESNADILLO, AHAO:- The Mayor of Fresnadillo, Georgia Hallstead has announced a doubling of police shifts and the has called for aid from the state police. This comes amid calls from the cities chief of police that she to call the national guard for help. Off-duty personnel and retirees have been swelling the ranks of the FPD. The Chief of Police has repeatedly called upon citizens to arm themselves in order to aid in restoring order. This approach seems to be working, with the east of the city reported by a police source as “clear and calm” and in the west a local high school secured as a safe zone. The mayor has also opened the city to citizens from other areas of the state should they require refuge.
Grand Rapids officials defending civilians in hand-to-hand combat - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:51 pm
Reports have come in that city officials in Grand Rapids have personally defended a local high school from the AA Horde, with the Mayor (a former pro-wrestler) personally wielding a cricket bat, back-to-back with the Chief of Police
Reports of infected refugees in Northland - Northland Editor - 12:51 pm
Refugees from our South Of Border (SOB) neighbours in Cornwall and Niagara have been found to be infected with the Zed virus. No word yet on any policy changes regarding refugees, but a refugee camp has been set up in Cornwall and Niagara.
CONFIRMED: White House has Captured Infected - National Editor - 12:50 pm
National media have learned that the federal government has been able to capture two “infected” specimens (zombies?) in Adirondack, but does not have the facilities to study them or develop treatments.
Mayors leading from the front! - Susquehannock Reporter A - 12:50 pm
We got reports from several cities that the mayors are leading the police and emergency forces from the front, actually taking the streets and bashing the “Z” people. Cities include Allentown, Erie, Yarbrough and Scranton.
Will they be able the coordinate the current crisis when they are beset by zombies? Will they be able to direct their forces where they are the most needed?
Terre Haute – Epic Stadium - Parker Biro Wabash - 12:50 pm
The Mayor of Terre Haute has completed the refurbishment of the city stadium which has resulted in the reduction of city unrest. The reconstruction is safer and more secure. Citizens report they are quite pleased with the result: “Thanks Mayor Mengot!”
No Confidence in ‘Honest’ Jim says White House - Iliniwek Sports - 12:49 pm
A source close to the White House expressed a chronic lack of confidence in ‘Governor’ Jim Gillie tonight due to his political posturing in the face of widespread panic. For more see our updated hatchet job blog on pages 3, 4, 5, 6 9, 20 and our pullout section
Pentagon authorises military action in Mishigamaa - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:49 pm
Reports are coming in from across the state of drones spotted flying across major cities in Mishigamaa.
Anonymous sources say that these are recon flights authorised by the Pentagon
Charlottes ville state of emergency - Powhatan Editor - 12:48 pm
Charlottes Ville has been suffering a state of emergency due to a large outbreak of rioters or “Zombies” they have to quell this outbreak but their forces have been tapped and not they don’t have enough people in their police for to fight these large hordes. They have asked fellow cities, states, and the governor for help so these monsters don’t spread to other cities. They have a team of researches studying the cause of the outbreak and have learned from Necrotech that it may transmit through water
Yarbourg Mayor fires Chief of Police - Susquehannock Reporter E - 12:48 pm
The chief of police Douwe Mulder has been replaced by his second in command due to a bad performance in the fight against the outbreak.
UPDATE: Wright city siege - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 12:47 pm
In an update to the developing situation in Wright city, the city’s mayor personally lead a raid in order to free those trapped in the hospital. Whether courageous or stupid, the move was successful as local law enforcement take back control of the situation.
Ombie outbreak confirmed by government - Adirondack Editor - 12:47 pm
In reaction to the ban on “the Z-word” issued by the white house, the Badger News Adirondack office will as from now replace “the Z-word” by Ombie. As in their statement they speak of a “zombie outbreak” we consider this confirmed.
BREAKING NEWS- Necrotech confirms Zombies - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 12:47 pm
The leading scientists at Necrotech have identified the strain of virus causing the Infestation we now experience. They have confirmed that the virus is indeed resurrecting the dead. In oher news Max Brooks Zombie survival guide rockets in sales.
Bribing governor candidate “visits the injured” - Adirondack Political News - 12:47 pm
New Amsterdam mayor and candidate for governor Elina Gouliou has asked us to come take a picture of her visiting the hospitalized injured in the Ombie outbreak. She has once again offered money to do so and pretend to be a caring mayor with a heart for her people.
Louisville Press Announcement – Invest in Emergency Services - Shawnee Editor - 12:46 pm
The illustrious Mayor Mayoh of Louisville has called a press conference today to announce his increased investment in ambulances. He feels proud of his city’s ability to cope with the youth “problem”, and is impressed by his citizens resolve in this crisis.
Mayoh is running for State Governor, and this paper for one could not be more please
For more information, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can be sure in
Hugo Lewkowicz and Alex Montrose
BREAKING: Mishigamaa Badger News office surrounded by horde - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:46 pm
BREAKING: We’re sorry to report that our office in Bay City has been surrounded by the -ARIUGKJN /,lmn /lkmfnadfhi[oi uo;okm,……………………………..
Marquette – State of Emergency and updates - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:46 pm
Marquette – City Mayor and Chief of Emergency Services – “The government of the city of Marquette has announced today that we are taking all reasonable measures to counteract the Blight and lawlessness that has occurred in our city,
“We have the full support of the Chief of Police and Emergency Services to take these actions to improve the quality of life in the city.”
“The governor assisted me in hand-to-hand combat defending the injured in the Marquette city hospital. I successfully slaughtered a number of the ‘Alternatively Animated’ – a very successful afternoon.””Straight after, Governor Osa confirmed that she would be dropping out of the Presidential race, and support Mayor Gibson’s bid as Republican nominee”
However the Chief of Emergency Services reports of civilian casualties due to police prioritising the defence of the Mayor instead of protecting neighbourhood districts.
Head of Emergency Services flees Aurora as State of Emergency declared - Iliniwek Sports - 12:45 pm
The HoES of Aurora was seen fleeing the city at high speed moments before the mayor declared an official State of Emergency. The local Badger News office in Aurora reports that ‘zombie-like groups’ have started siegeing the building and that law and order has collapsed.
The news of the fleeing official came ironically at the same time the governors office released a statement urging people not to speed. Meanwhile the Halperin Chief of Emergency Services has stated that ‘This country has more guns than people. We’re not worried’ before shooting his pistols wildly into the air and dancing a jig.
AD: Nutrivend Latest - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:45 pm
NutriCalm Ultra- Helps keep you calm in times of crisis.
Nutrispeed – Help give you that edge when reaction time is critical.
Perfect for front line services.
Ouisconsin, Racine- Necrotech in kidnapping Conspiracy with local police - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 12:45 pm
A source within the Oisconsin Mayoral office has witnessed the police collaborating with Necrotech in kidnapping people across the city, some undead, others alive. My source wishes to remain named for his own safety. Further reports will come soon.
POSSIBLE “ZOMBIE CURE”? STATEMENT FROM IAN ANGUS- CEO OF NUTRIVEND - Ahao, Susannah - 12:45 pm
Ian Angus, the CEO of Nutrivend has delivered a statement regarding the current “Zombie Crisis.” He states:
“We have had a number of requests from state governors and mayors for a cure to the zombie outbreak.
Nutrivend is currently dedicating 100% of its resources to finding a cure for all of the states affected by this current crisis.
Our Drugs Save Lives. Nutrivend has noted that Romero City appear to be acting extremely aggressively against the afflicted. We have to remember that the afflicted are our friends and family. We must take a less aggressive approach and look to contain the afflicted and not simply try to kill them.
If there are any unfortunate casualties or victims that can be brought to our facilities please do so. We are doing everything in our power to search for a cure.
Nutrivend continues to serve the people of America.
Badger News will be reporting on this as the situation develops
Northland grounds flights - Northland Editor - 12:44 pm
The office of the prime minister has grounded all nonmilitary flights for security reasons.
Situation under control(?) - Adirondack Editor - 12:43 pm
The situation in Binghampton appears to be under control, no casualties have been reported in the town.
The situation in Albany appears to be improving.
Meanwhile rumors have reached Badger News reporters that the situation in New Amsterdam is escalating. it was understood that the Chief of Police has requested State troops to be shifted from Albany to New Amsterdam as soon as available.
Update from Mishigamaa State Police - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:41 pm
A spokesman from the Mishigamaa State Police reports that they have the situations in Romero City and Grand Rapids under control, and are now moving in to Spearing to assist the city-sponsored militia take control back from the “Alternatively Animated” hordes.
However there has now been a prison breakout in Battle Creek which the state police have failed to get under control.
White House Considering Use of Drones in US Airspace - National Editor - 12:39 pm
Sources have informed national media that the White House is actively considering the use of military drones against the zombie outbreak in US airspace. This appears to suggest that the White House is willing to use military force against its own citizens.
BREAKING NEWS: Susquehannock declares state of emergency - Susquehannock Reporter A - 12:39 pm
The governor of Susquehannock has declared a state-wide state of emergency to cope with several outbreaks of the “Z” disease.
Governor Jon Runs for President - Powhatan Editor - 12:39 pm
The Governor of Powhatan has decided to run for president he believes that this position is deserved for him because has helped and improved the condition of all cities in Powhatan with his great judgement. He says that the economy is suffering and that we have obvious healthcare issues and through that he has helped the great state of powhatan pull through well.
Roanoke is fighting hard. But is it enough? - Powhatan Editor - 12:39 pm
I have recently spoken with the mayor of Roanoke. He agrees with the White House that the z word is a bad idea and something scientifically accurate should be used. He also says that he is also putting all his support behind the police chief. But while I was there it was looking bad. Riots in the streets, many “infected” and even some fire. Hopefully it doesn’t get worse.
No Fly Zone - Wabash Editor - 12:39 pm
It has been confirmed that all flights, civilian and private, within the US have been grounded.
Governor converses with White House. - Ahao Editor - 12:39 pm
FRESNADILLO, AHAO:- Reports from the governors office have been sent to us along with this image of him informing the president of the situation in the state. No word on a federal response.
Lithgow: “I’m prepared to spend money to gain votes” - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 12:38 pm
Toledo Emergency Services Chief and candidate for GOP nomination Dale Lithgow appeared today to intimate that he was prepared to issue bribes in order to advance his political bid.
In a statement, he also dismissed earlier reports of his neglection of duty as “false news, spread by a mob from Dayton”.
BREAKING: Things are “not looking good” in Mishigamaa - National Reporter A - 12:38 pm
The Pentagon has been reported saying that things are “not looking good” in Mishigamaa. Crises notwithstanding, the White House are still going ahead with its annual 4th of July picnic celebrations on the Gardens.
CONFIRMED- ZOMBIES IN TOLEDO- CHIEF OF POLICE LYING - Ahao, Susannah - 12:37 pm
A source from inside the Toledo Government has told Badger News that previous reports of ‘civil unrest’ are in fact zombie hordes. The Chief of Police, Daniel, is refusing to confirm this, and is continuing to lie to citizens.
There is now a struggle for power, with local man, Fergus, stating that he will stand for election for Chief of Police as a “capable and honest” candidate.
Multiple reports of police chiefs using police as own personal army - Ahao - Naomi Young - 12:37 pm
FRESNODSAILLO and TOLEDO, AHAO: Multiple reports of police chiefs using the police to protect their own homes. A source told us that Fergus Hadley of Toledo is misappropriating police resources as his own private protection squad, similar reports have been heard about the police chief in Fresnadillo.
Elizabethtown to the Rescue - Shawnee Editor - 12:37 pm
Worried about Paducah’s growing youth problem, Elizabethtown have thrown in their emergency services in to help. Paducah are grateful for the help, as are we, as we’re looking forward to the upcoming Paducah Charity Party! Come one, come all!
However, at time of press, at the last minute Elizabethtown back out of this deal, citing it as “too expensive”
For more information, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can be sure in
Hugo Lewkowicz and Alex Montrose
New Amsterdam mayor offers bribe to press officers - Adirondack Editor - 12:36 pm
New Amsterdam mayor Elina Gouliou, running for re-election in the New Amsterdam mayor office has offered money to one of our press officers in return for “better press coverage”. However the Ombie situation in New Amsterdam seems fairly under control, as an independent journal we can only make this disgusting act of bribing public.
Wabash Governor Expose - Parker Biro Wabash - 12:36 pm
Wabash Governor reports his family is doing fine despite living in the over run city of Boyle. He insists that all is fine but there needs to be the use of correct procedure to claim assistance. Asked as to the “zombie” vs “Z” situation he states he considered the term “Z” to be more appropriate. He disputes any case of mismanagement and requests greater levels of communication from Mayor’s offices before declaring an emergency. Wishing for greater cooperation with the press he Governor wishes to prevent any discussion of censorship.
Susquehannock’s Governor: “our priority is healthcare” - Susquehannock Reporter C - 12:35 pm
Susquehannock’s governor has stated in a press interview that the focus in his presidential campaign will be an better healthcare. The governor criticized the current president’s healthcare system, and proposed to raise the taxes from “the rich” in order to meed the funding required. When asked about the zombie outbreaks, he proposed that it is something to be focused, but his cornerstone to solve this crisis is healthcare, not the military.
Ouisconsin, Madison- Sever Action against Undead threat - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 12:35 pm
Military police have been mobilized in the city of Madison
Deputy mayor “we are postponing the presidential’s campaign” - Susquehannock Reporter C - 12:35 pm
Deputy mayor has confirmed this morning that the mayor is interrupting his campaign so as to focus on the zombie outbreaks. These outbreaks have caused three people from east Yarbrough to be eaten alive already ths morning. This comes in time while he was also criticized for allegedly participating in a montage during an emergency services intervention in Yarbrough. The deputy mayor has not denied the validity of these claims, which raises the question his other picture in which appeared shooting zombies.
Governors Jon’s Hands Tied - Powhatan Editor - 12:33 pm
In Charlottes Ville Powhatan many zombie outbreaks have come and residents are in a panic causing looting. The Governor Jon has sent in a swat team and 4 state troopers but they cannot send in the nation guard to help because constituitionally the city has to have declared a state of panic and we can only pray the Mayor declares a state of panic. Luckily for them Mayor Mike of Savini Palace has sent in some of their police force to help them.
Breakdown in Communications - Wabash Editor - 12:32 pm
Even now the cogs of bureaucracy slowly grind between government offices.
The recent confusion regarding states of emergency is due to confusion between the office of the governor and Boyle City and Gary.
Currently, at the time of writing, the only city in a state of emergency is Fort Wayne. However, the Bloodhound has to ask why Boyle City, as the self-proclaimed hub of Operation Carousel, has not opted to place itself in a higher state of readiness. This happens as unsubstantiated rumours of ‘fabrication’ cross the corridors of power.
DHS: Please Wash Your Hands and Do Not Travel - National Reporter A - 12:32 pm
The DHS has informed national media that US citizens should wash their hands, use face masks if possible, brush their teeth, and all interstate travel should be avoided unless absolutely necessary.
We at the national media applaud the White House’s good hygiene and pearly white teeth.
The Dead Are Walking on Water - Northland Editor - 12:31 pm
Washing up on shore, the walking dead have emerged in Northland!
Policing measures - Susquehannock Reporter E - 12:30 pm
Poliece forces are increased all over the state. In an official statement the mayor of Erie ensures the population that he will increase police patrols in the city, even the mayor himself allegedly took arms, “gunning down the undead himself”. Simmilarly, Pitsburgh and Straton now have their policemen working in double shifts. Pitsburgh has increased the police budget by 5%
Mishigamaa the State of Science or impending doom? - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:29 pm
Mishigamaa has recently seen a large investment by several Corporations including a new Hospital and Laboratory in Marquette by the Nutrivend Corporation. This significant investment in the area has been hailed as a triumph by the local mayor and the state governor who is currently electioneering for the Republicans for the upcoming election and will obviously feel that this will be a boost for her campaign. Some sources have suggested that some public money or other concessions have been made to encourage such a large investment in the area however this has been denied by officials. Meanwhile LEXCORP are currently developing several exciting new chemical and biological technologies. LEXCORP have stated that it develops “Weapons for Protection not offence”. Officials from the Corporation state that low cost but high quality medicines will be flooding the market as part of a strategy to undercut competition.
With all this recent investment in the state and specially in the Marquette area questions must be asked as to the motives behind this investment. At the end of the day Corporations are not charities and the bottom line is always the end goal. One wonders whether the strange incidents that have been occurring across the state can be linked to this influx of Corporate investment. As ever we will be keeping an eye and ear on events and will keep our readership informed.
Political and Military Correspondant
“You Know I’m Right” – but is the timing? - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 12:29 pm
TOLEDO, AH: Toledo Chief of Emergency Services took an opportunity this afternoon at a press briefing to announce his candidacy for the GOP Presidential nomination.
Running under the slogan “You Know I’m Right”, he appeared to neglect his duties in an effort to further his political career.
EXCLUSIVE: Interview with the “Alternatively Animated” - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:29 pm
One of our reporters has had an exclusive interview with a spokesman from one of the horde, claiming that the “Alternatively Animated” are misunderstood and being persecuted by the state and profited off by the corporations.
State of Emergency – Youths Strike Again - Shawnee Editor - 12:29 pm
Cancel your flights. Cancel your summer holiday plans. The youths have other plans.
With the city of Aurora in Illinewek and the whole of Northland declaring a state of emergency due to these youth’s actions, homeland security have been forced to ground all flights coming to or from America. Is this why the 101st Battalion has been mobilised in Fort Cambell?
The Governor’s office tell us they “have no details currently.”
Will somebody please think of the children?
For more information, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can be sure in
Hugo Lewkowicz and Alex Montrose
Pittsburgh declares state of emergency! - Susquehannock Reporter A - 12:28 pm
The mayor of Pittsburgh has declared a state of emergency for his city to cope with the current crisis.
- Northland Editor - 12:28 pm
As increasing numbers of refugees pour across the southern border, officials in the London, Ontario area report sporadic incidents of looting. In Sault Ste-Marie, the 427 Special Operations Aviation Squadron has been deployed to the area to disarm a recently-arrived group of southern survivalists.
BREAKING NEWS: WRIGHT CITY UNDER SIEGE! - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 12:28 pm
Wright City Police HQ and Hospital under siege from zombies, the buildings are completely surrounded.
More to follow
DHS Source: DHS Underfunded - National Reporter A - 12:26 pm
DHS sources have informed national media that DHS is underfunded in the face of the current crisis. While we understand that the President is considering options, it is unclear if the necessary actions will be taken.
Hero “Politician” Saves Doctor. - Ahao Editor - 12:26 pm
TOLEDO, AHAO:- A hospital in Toledo was reportedly attacked by a mob of Daytonians as part of ongoing state wide disturbances. The cities chief of emergency services and republican presidential primary candidate, Dale Lythgow, personally saved a doctor from the site and held off the mob, and reports that the hospital is still running at capacity.
State of Emergency - Wabash Editor - 12:25 pm
State of Emergencies declared in Gary, Fort Wayne and Boyle.
No movement from the Pentagon - National Editor - 12:25 pm
When asked what the Pentagon was doing in the face of the outbreaks, a spokesman said they were in a state of heightened readiness.
When this reporter suggested they had been in a state of readiness for the past week, a spokesman said that Federal resources could not be deployed to states without the proper request from the affected state.
More as we get it.
BREAKING: Romero City and Marquette declare states of Emergency - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:25 pm
A statement from the Mayor of Romero City:
“I am declaring this state of emergency because I believe it is more important to save the lives of people in our area who are suffering and stop this crisis spreading than it is to think about politics at this point. We are extremely disappointed with the lack of national support early on, but are are glad that the government is now seeing the importance of the situation in Romero, and we are happy to stand and set an example for this country getting the situation under control”
“We were supported mainly by the chief of the ambulance service and also we’ve had support from our main national funders – Nutrivend and LexCorp”
Open To Any Companies - Powhatan Editor - 12:25 pm
Mayor MIke from Savini Palace is open to any companies who want to partner with him and improve his city. The new “Zombie” outbreak has been contained in his city causing all residents to feel very safe, so Mike invites out of towners to come to a festival so have all residents feel safe
White house tries to stifle press freedom - Ahao Editor - 12:25 pm
FRESNADILLO, AHAO:- A representative of the white house administration visited the Badger News Ahao offices today and advised us as to what language we should use whilst reporting on the current disturbances across the state and nation. We at the BNC Ahao office would like to tell our readers that we are under our own editorial control and we regard this as an attack on our first amendment rights.
Hollman holds out hands - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 12:24 pm
FRESNADILLO, AH: Governor Hollman was at pains today to make clear his support for the city of Cleveland and of the Fresnadillo PD.
The Governor has also opened his mansion to offer catering and support to people displaced by events in the city.
Zombie hordes approaching Albany state house! - Adirondack Editor - 12:24 pm
The outbreak in West Albany is reaching apocalyptic proportions. Groups of zombies from the outbreak are getting close to the state house. Will the national guard come in time?
Richmond Chief of Police Dead - Wabash Editor - 12:24 pm
The Chief of Police in Richmond has died fighting the Zombies or “Z’s” in Mercy Hospital defending against a level 3+1 outbreak.
Chief of Police Ben was lauded as a ‘Hero’ by members of the Emergency Services for his role in leading his Police Force from the front line, working double overtime alongside his officers.
His death has been blamed on a lack of under funding.
The hospital has been declared safe otherwise.
Youths at City Hall - Shawnee Editor - 12:22 pm
Wiederhorn City Hall, which has fallen into disarray since the disappearance of Mayor Ibbotson, has been surrounded by a blight of youths. The Chief of Police assures us that they have increased police presence to deal with these villainous youths.
Sources tell us that the Mayor Ibbotson has been caught with his lover in Hawaii, and this is the reason for his continued abscence.
For more information, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can be sure in
Hugo Lewkowicz and Alex Montrose
Mayor of Fresnadillo minimizes talk of unrest as situation becomes critical - Ahao - Naomi Young - 12:22 pm
FRESNADILLO, AHAO: Georgia Halstead, Mayor of Fresnadillo has launched her campaign for Democratic President amid the unrest in her City. She talked of a tough stance on the “unruly citizens”, at the same time saying that things we just a “bit unsettled”, but said extra funding had been given by the governor to help with the situation. Yet at the same time, she told a senior staff panic “Don’t Panic” as he ran out the door to handle the situation.
However it seems things are much worse than the Mayor made out, as there has been a SWAT helicopter deployed over the city, and there are reports of fierce fighting near the Fresnadillo police station and governor’s residence. The chief of police said he was “Personally involved and in close quarter combat with his officers”.
BREAKING: Ban on the ‘Z-word’ - National Editor - 12:22 pm
The White House has issued a directive to all media outlets warning them not to use ‘the Z-word’. In the face of much uncertainty caused by the recent zombie outbreaks, this paper feels that the gag order issued by the White House is undue censorship of the free press.
BREAKING: State of emergency declared in Albany - Adirondack Political News - 12:21 pm
The state of emergency has been declared in Albany and the National Guard is being deployed there.
Ontario forges alliance with Tim Hortons - Northland Editor - 12:21 pm
The premier of Ontario has forged an official alliance with popular franchise, known for their ‘good enough’ coffee and doughnuts. “Given the current state of emergency we have forged this alliance to help our police and emergency services.”
Zombies crossing state border into Adironrack - Susquehannock Reporter A - 12:20 pm
Zombies are not respecting the state borders! We got reports about zombies crossing the border with Adironrack near the city of Scranton.
State Police Intervene in Madison - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 12:20 pm
After a large disturbance of the ‘Medically Impaired’ in the city of Madison, state police units have been scrambled to resolve the situation. From my vantage point in a helicopter over the city, the situation is widespread, however there is also a strong presence of state and city police working on the issue. In an Interview with the state governor he stated
” The extraordinary response of the Republican administration of Mayor Bernandes of Madison shows how effective leadership can help cities overcome dire situations that other administrations may succumb to”
Representatives from Wright City have also spoken to Badger news stating that the situation in Madison is “a higher priority right now” and that their city emergency services would respond to the situation for the time being, leaving state forces to assist in Madison. I wonder how citizens of Green Bay feel about this?
Ouisconsin, Politics- Necrotec and President in talks - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 12:17 pm
In discussion with the Necrotec CEO he has commented that “I am close friends with the president and we are hoping to deal with this situation swiftly.” When questioned about an earlier comment that “this is a minor issue not worth concerning ourselves with.” He has re-evaluated his stance saying “the situation has developed rapidly within the last six hors.” Its good to see such swift action.
New Secretary of State Sworn In - National Reporter A - 12:16 pm
The national media is glad to hear that the White House has sworn in a new Secretary of State, Adam Sibson.
In the face of a developing crisis, it is hoped that Mr. Sibson will provide the necessary leadership with our friends in the North to handle the situation in a competent manner.
Emergency Carousel Meeting - Wabash Editor - 12:16 pm
An emergency meeting has been called by officials in Boyle city regarding the Carousel Initiative.
Representatives of the Emergency Services and Chiefs of Police have been called for a meeting at Boyle City Hall to discuss the current Zombies or “Z” outbreak.
Police Chief Fro is calling Operation Carousel a success with lots of support from other cities. Combat has occurred between Police Forces and “Z’s” with the Boyle police facing some losses.
National Guard mobilised in Ahao - National Editor - 12:15 pm
Reports have come in that the National Guard has been mobilised in Ahao but without any accompanying announcements of a state of emergency.
Improving The Police Force - Powhatan Editor - 12:15 pm
Savini palace Mayor is dedicated to modernizing the police for and emergency services partnered with hex-tech a company that engineers communications technology and emergency services gear. The mayor was talking with governor and said his city was fine and graciously said to help other cities first the governor decided to prepare to aid charlottes ville but not declare a state of emergency and move in which would cause panic
Fresnadillo Fracas - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 12:14 pm
FRESNADILLO, AH: The Fresnadillo Chief of Police has been reported injured in a “disturbance” involving his fellow officers. According to a source on the inside, the scandal-plagued Chief was “right in the thick of it”.
UPDATE: The Chief is reportedly surrounded by “insurgents” in his house, and has called for police helicopter support.
Earlier, the Mayor said that she “fully supports” the chief’s actions in dealing with threats “on his own doorstep”.
Meanwhile, a source in the FPD expressed concernt that the Senior officer in the west of thecity is more concerned with his pay and conditions than with the developing situation.
Susquehannock state governor Bas Verbeek running for president - Susquehannock Reporter A - 12:13 pm
On the 154th anniversity of the battle of Gettysburg, state governor Bas Verbeek has officially announced his candidacy for his parties nomination for the presidency.
The Democrat is intending to challenge the sitting president under the motto of “Liberty for all and and all for liberty”.
The current president’s health care plans are the main impetus behind the governor’s decision. Verbeek intends to reform the health system because “Obamacare is a lie”.
Verbeek: “As governor of the state where the Declaration of Independence was signed, it is my reponsibility to uphold the spirit of that promise tot he people.”
Living zombie captured in New Amsterdam - Adirondack Editor - 12:13 pm
The New Amsterdam Chief of Police Kris Van Beurden, also running for city mayor, has stated that an infected zombie has been captured alive by the law enforcement officers of the cities.
The zombie will be “shared” with Homeland Security in order to understand “the problem”.
Northland declares federal state of emergency - Northland Editor - 12:13 pm
The office of the prime minister has declared a federal state of emergency early this morning after a car crash in the Niagara region, and a crash at the London international airport. “There are reports from the States that the public is not yet aware of. We want to be prepared.”
Police fighting outbreaks all over the state – Allentown declares state of emergency - Susquehannock Reporter E - 12:12 pm
Police is fighting the outbreaks valiently. The two outbreaks in Pitsburgh are now under controll, out of the four outbreaks in Yarbourgh two are still going on, one of them seemingly escelating. Allentown reports two outbreaks, one of which is now under controll while the second one caused the mayor to declare a state of emergency. In a quick respons the national guard has already been deployed.
WHITE HOUSE GATHERING NOMINATIONS FOR REPUBLICAN NOMINATION - National Editor - 12:12 pm
A spokesman for the White House said they were working with their local teams to determine the strongest Republican candidates.
So far 3 candidates have put their names forward, although no further details were available at the time of printing.
Those putting their names forward include the Governor of Ohio, The Mayor of Cincinatti and the Governor of Osa.
Details of the Democratic nominees have yet to be announced.
Zombies in Ilinewek claims Joliet Mayor! - Iliniwek Sports - 12:11 pm
Mayor van Hoone of Joilet has astonishly announced that the state of Ilinewek is under threat from a number of what can only be described as ZOMBIES! This incredible announcement has been made ‘in the name of transparency’ and went on to say that several police officers have died combating the zombie threat. The mayor believes the only real way to fight this threat is to pool resources both military and emergency services, and offered his city as a staging ground for the ‘fight for survival’.
An aide to the mayor claimed that ‘they came from Halperin’ and that the governor’s office had been ‘completely unresponsive’ to this dire threat.
Mishigamaa Mayor to run for Presidency - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:11 pm
A press release from the state government has confirmed that Governor Osa intends to run as the Republican candidate for the Presidency.
Riots breaking out - Adirondack Political News - 12:10 pm
Badger News has received several reports of rioting in the big cities of our state. Especially around police stations numerous reports are coming in.
Zombies Running Rampant in Charlottesville - Powhatan Reporter A - 12:10 pm
Charlottesville is in a time of crisis. The firefighters are barely able to hold off fire and police is doing worse. A large herd has gathered in Charlottesville and is threatening stability in the city. Mayor calls police force “ineffective”. We are all hoping the situation changes.
CONFIRMED: Bay City town hall overrun by “zombie horde” - Mishigamaa Editor - 12:10 pm
Bay City press officer confirms rumours from social media that a “zombie horde” has overrun the city hall.
Source reports mob out of control due to poor coordination from the Chief of Police.
Grand Rapid city hall prefer to refer to the rioters as “Blighters” affected by “The Blight”
Ouisconsin, Madison City- Local forces collaborate with Governor to handle issue - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 12:09 pm
The Madison administration has successfully managed to quell the recent fires and deal with the recently undeparted with collaboration with the local police force in an effort mobilized by the Governor of the state of Ouisconsin. There have been zero casualties and all wounded have been mobilized to their local Hospitals.
Z Not Zombie - Parker Biro Wabash - 12:08 pm
Undisclosed sources reported from the Vice Governor state that the current outbreak is not a zombie infestation but in fact are only disguised as the walking dead. These dangerous creatures are known as the “Z”. Further news to follow…
New Amsterdam mayor says “shoot to kill” - Adirondack Political News - 12:08 pm
Badger News has received following statement from the Mayor of New Amsterdam:
In this time of crisis, Mayor Elina Gouliou would like to remind people of
their right to defend themselves (if necessary with lethal actions) against
any threats to themselves, their families and livelihoods.
In this regard, they can consider any unliving creatures such a threat.
ZOMBIE OUTBREAK CONFIRMED BY HOMELAND SECURITY - National Reporter A - 12:08 pm
A Homeland Security representative informed national media that there is indeed a zombie outbreak in the Eastern US despite prior statements to the contrary from other parts of the government.
Oinsconsin,loosconsin more like - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 12:07 pm
At the dawn of another bright and beautiful day in our sweet state it seems the rosy tint is not so rosy. What appeared like another average day in our state has become quite the opposite. Hooliganism, Nefarious corporate deals, forces deployed on our streets and now reports of Zombies!! what is happening in our state?
It is yet to be known the full story and too early to know all the facts. what we do know is the state is mobilizing where mobilization can be made and the politicians Politicking where that can be done, same as any other day right?
Think again! Stay at home! Stay Safe!
We will bring you the news as the news breaks
Homeland Security: Everything Under Control Despite No Prior Experience With Similar Situation - National Reporter A - 12:07 pm
Homeland Security has informed national media that everything is “under control” and that they are in the process of “determining the correct response” despite not having any prior experience dealing with such a crisis.
People of Shawnee: Governor Firefly - Shawnee Editor - 12:06 pm
Governor Firefly has a difficult job. Being a republican governor in a majority democrat state you would think she would struggle with the pressure. However, when our roving reporter Alex Montrose came to interview her for our feature, he found her surprisingly cavalier
When pushed on funding matters, she promises to increase funding on the National Guard. “I will make America great again.” – Not that she sees eye to eye with our President on all topics. “I disagree with many things that Trump says and does.”
One thing the Governor is dedicated to is festivities. She wants a military parade for this year’s July 4th party, and is willing to waste public money to make this happen. Truly and inspirational leader
For more information, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can be sure in
Hugo Lewkowicz and Alex Montrose
Binghampton mayor present on-site of zombie outbreak - Adirondack Editor - 12:06 pm
Several outbreaks of the so-called zombie virus VAC have been confirmed in Binghampton.
The police is currently “taking care of it”. One police officer has been injured. He is being treated in a New Amsterdam hospital in the framework of healthcare collaboration offered by New Amsterdam Chief of Police candidate for the office of Mayor Kris van Beurden and Chief of Emergency Services Koenraad Kegels.
Furthermore, Binghampton Mayor and Chief of Emergency Service are currently present ON-SITE of the zombie outbreak to support the emergency services! This action could be called heroic, dangerous and/or stupid. It may even contribute to a further spreading of the VAC virus.
People infected with the “zombie” virus look normal but act aggressive and out of their minds. Are the Binghampton politicians infected already?
Yarbrough’s mayor criticized as using zombie outbreak to promote his campaign - Susquehannock Reporter C - 12:06 pm
Mayor of Yahbrough has been caught in a recent controversy, as he as caught posing for the camera during the emergency services interventions in the town. The Chief police was seen helping with a crowbar in one zombie outbreak. The mayor, however who wants to run for presidency, appeared on a picture with another crowbar helping opening doors, but sources indicate that the pictures was in fact a montage. This puts into question the seriousness the mayor is considering the recent emergency situations, which the city is barely containing.
State Governor’s office slams Cleveland and Cincinatti Mayor’s - Ahao - Naomi Young - 12:05 pm
FRESNADILLO, AHAO: The governor’s office slammed the Mayor’s of Cleveland and Cincinnati for their recent handling of the unrest in their cities.
The mayor of Cincinatti characterized it as a blatant political move, and criticized the police presence the Governor has deployed at his own residence. “There was a disturbance in Cincinatti, but police handled it in line with policy” was his response to the situation that lead to 3 people in the hospital.
The mayor of Cleveland rejected claims of mishandling and cited it as just excitement from citizens about the opening of the new donut factory.
Shortly after we received the statement from Cleveland, the Governor reversed his comments about their mismanagement and said he fully supported the Mayor of Cleveland and added they were effectively protecting their citizens.
Mayor New Amsterdam says no cases of “VAC” in New Amsterdam – are they lying? - Adirondack Political News - 12:04 pm
The Mayor Press agency has confirmed to Badger News that there are no cases of the so-called VAC virus in New Amsterdam.
Meanwhile independent research by our reporters has shown that there are already several outbreaks within the New Amsterdam city limits, why is the Mayor Lying?
Official Statement from Homeland Security re Reports of Zombie Outbreaks - National Reporter A - 12:04 pm
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Department of Homeland Security
The President and her team are aware of the developing situation involving
an infectious disease in multiple states across the north-east region.
We are in contact with state and city officials and relevant federal
agencies including the CDC. We have full faith in them but stand ready to
assist in any way we can. We are currently considering a range of steps
which can be taken.
We would urge all citizens to report any strange activity to the relevant
local authorities. We would also urge the press not to inflame panic by
indulging in idle speculation or sensationalist gossip. White House
officials are ready and able to brief the press where appropriate.
Sec. Homeland Security.
Governor Launches Bid - Wabash Editor - 12:01 pm
In a brief interview the Wabash Governor, Fraser Schwarzenegger, has launched his presidential bid for the upcoming election. Running on a “stable & strong” Republican platform, he is confident his experience from a 2003 tour in Iraq will showcase his leadership in the current Zombie emergency. The mayors of Richmond, Terre Haute, and Fort Wayne gave no comment when asked about the bid.
Governor Jim ‘What Riots?’ - Iliniwek Sports - 11:59 am
‘Honest’ Jim Gillie has shocked voters by denying reports of any rioting in the state of Ilinewek tonight. In a press release circulated moments ago he claimed ‘The people of Ilinewek can rest assured is working hard to make sure your lives continue.’ We are as yet unsure as to the underlying message of these seemingly harrowing words but it seems clear that at state level the governorship has no idea what is going on.
Sightings of “zombies” confirmed by mayor Binghampton and Homeland security - Adirondack Political News - 11:59 am
The mayor of Binghampton and Homeland security have both confirmed to the Badger News that there have been sightings of the so-called “zombies” [sic] in the state.
The mayor of Binghampton went on to add that they will cooperate in full with New Amsterdam in fighting this disease.
Casualty Reports from Ahao hospitals. - Ahao Editor - 11:59 am
FRESNADILLO, AHAO:- Reports are coming in from across the state of causalities being brought to various hospitals in various cities following the recent disturbances. Current reports are:
Toledo: 2 casualties
Cleveland: 2 casualties
Fresnadillo: 6 casualties
Cincinnati: 3 casuaties
Dayton: 3 casualties.
Ahao Governor: Sport is the solution - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 11:58 am
FRESNADILLO, AH: The state governor today announced a new initiative to “promote an active, healthy lifestyle and take youth off the streets”. The development of a new sports stadium, to be located in Fresnadillo, will “promote excellence” and develop Ahaian Olympic champions.
Increase of police funding in Toledo - Ahao, Susannah - 11:58 am
The local government offices in Toledo, Ahao, has announced an increase in funding for all areas of policing due to the distressing scenes reported in neighboring cities, and ‘low morale’ locally.
Chief of Police Daniel remarked that “effective policing begins with good morale, and an effective approach to discourage criminal activities”.
State Governer Micky Holeman was heard to say that he was “impressed” by the move.
Fires Under Control - Powhatan Editor - 11:57 am
In Roanoke Powhatan there have been lots of fires started by natural causes but due to the amount some people are thinking that their is unknown group causing these fires. The mayor David Ellis has worked with the emergency services to get everything under control and the only bad side is that its causing lots of traffic in the streets. Mayor David Ellis to calm the people has put out a promise for 5% percent of the budget to got to a mega game center that will have bi-monthly megagames
Ouiscnsin, Wright city- The dead walk on Wright city - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 11:57 am
The mayor of Wright City has personally lead the charge against what he describes as a “Zombie Horde” within the west city. He refuted comments abut these being the end times claiming that “this is just “One more challenge to be faced”. However one look at the situation room would have you questioning his seeming lack of concern.
Small Fire in State Badger HQ - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 11:57 am
We would like to assure readers that despite a small fire which caught in our press headquarters, we are committed to the continued publication of timely news and will continue our work. A thank you also to the fire department for responding so rapidly to the fire.
“Zombie outbreak” reported in various states - National Editor - 11:57 am
Citizens in various states have been advised to “stay home” after reports of zombies have been sighted. States affected include Ouisconsin, Adirodack, Ahao, Mishigamaa and Powhatan.
Benjamin Gill, the Press Liaison officer for the Joint Chief of Staff, was quoted as saying, “I have every bit of confidence that the States are able to handle this on their own.”
The White House has yet to make an official press release.
What is the government hiding? - Adirondack Political News - 11:56 am
The events of the recent hours are strange, but what is even stranger is that the government is clearly not communicating what they know.
They are all saying everything is under control, but at the same time the governor is mobilising additional troops.
One can only ask: why? What are they hiding?
Badger News will keep on asking questions to get the truth out of them!
Northland researchers call for international collaboration - Northland Editor - 11:56 am
Speaking at an emergency symposium on the Zombie crisis at McGill University today, the Director of the Northland Public Health Agency called for “unprecedented international collaboration to end the scourge of Vicious Animated Corpses.”
“To develop an effective VACcine, we will need researchers, the private sector, and all levels of government to come together,” added Dr. Reanne A. Mayted. “We at the NPHA stand ready to provide such assistance. Even as we speak, our teams—together with our provincial counterparts—are deploying to the most severely affected areas of southern Ontario. Our scientists will study the VACs, while our mobile lab team will assist hospital pathologists in isolating any pathogen that might be responsible.”
Federal and provincial officials report that they are reaching out to counterparts South of the Border, and stand ready to provide samples and other material necessary to develop effective countermeasures.
Pittsburgh police going to double shift - Susquehannock Reporter A - 11:55 am
The Pittsburgh police is doing double shifts in response to rumours that there are people that are biting other people in the streets. The mayor of Pittsburgh is supporting the move, but indicates that if they had had more funding, this might not have been necessary at this point.
ZOMBIE BREAKOUT – Or is it all just youths? - Shawnee Editor - 11:55 am
Sources close to Paducah City Hall are confirming riots in their town. The news is coming in in dribs and drabs, but an unnamed source has made claims of a “zombie outbreak.” As riots grow in this small University City, questions must be asked of its leadership.
This is a personal story for us here at the Shawnee Social, as we hear our friend and freelance journalist John Kelloggs has been caught up in the attacks. This dedicated reporter has not been heard from since.
At time of press, City Hall is claiming that this riot was a protest. Our journalist, Alex Montrose has been informed that these riots were for reasons unknown
Rumours from within feel the police department is incompetent, claiming the police chief of staff hid from real action. Paducah Police Chief Mason tells us she was very busy manning the phones.
Is there anything these youths will not do? Can Police Chief Mason manage the Youth threat? And what does this mean for the Paducah Community Festival this Sunday?
For more information, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can be sure in
Hugo Lewkowicz and Alex Montrose
Statewide Unrest across Mishigamaa - Mishigamaa Editor - 11:53 am
City officials from Romero City, Marquette and Grand Rapids have all issued statements to the press regarding violent incidents spreading across both cities.
Reports are coming in of riots – violent injuries and firestarting – which the emergency services are barely able to contain due to critical underfunding on a state level, and rumoured City Hall embezzlement in Romero City itself (according to an anonymous source in State Government).
All cities report that the emergency services have finally been able to contain the violence, but not before the mayor’s own house in Marquette was burned down, with only a lone Democrat rosette found at the scene of the crime.
The more excitable reports from the ground keep referring to “zombie outbreaks”, but at this point we have no further evidence as to the cause of the unrest, other than the Deputy Mayor of Grand Rapids refusing to deny the existence of zombies.
Civil Unrest in Ilinewek - Iliniwek Sports - 11:53 am
Pranksters dressed as masked clowns are causing panic in Ilinewek tonight. Early reports include several fires erupting around the city and police have been sent in to quell the revellers. The Mayor of Halperin when asked for comment stated ‘A few officers have been injured. The rioters are wearing disguises as to not be identified by CCTV.’
State police sour
Homeland Security – Don’t Fear the Reaper - Parker Biro Wabash - 11:53 am
Homeland Security states that the surrounding states are currently fully capable of handling their situation and no possibility of infestation from outside. He states Federal Govt stands ready to assist when requested.
White House caught flatfooted by reports of zombie outbreaks - National Reporter A - 11:52 am
After being informed by the national media that reports were coming in from numerous local media sources of zombie outbreaks, the White House was unprepared to issue comment immediately. Hopefully they will soon be able to provide the country with national leadership.
Mysterious ‘Impairment’ hits city - Ouisconsin Reporter B - 11:50 am
Representatives for Green Bay have today stated that the recent spat of violent behavior in their city is due to the “Medically impaired”. The cause and full symptoms are as yet unknown, but it has been proposed that a contaminant in the water, or excessive phone use may be the cause. Science has a way to go it seems.
Governor mobilising additional state troops – disease unknown - Adirondack Political News - 11:50 am
Governor Deurinck is mobilising additional state troops to help fight the outbreak. No clear statement was received on nature of disease.
Governor statement on “zombie outbreak” - Adirondack Editor - 11:49 am
Governor Tim Duerinck, running for president in the 2017 campaign, has released the following statement, confirming the spread of a zombie-like disease.
Reality challenges us on a daily basis but rarely at this scale. We are facing truly historical
circumstances. An outbreak of an unknown infestation is reported in many different states.
Team of our most senior and qualified scientists are trying to find the sources and a cure but
this Zombie-like infestation will require immediate action by each one of us. We need to
come together in unity to move forward.
As a Governor, it is my duty and honor to serve you in this difficult time but we will prevail. I
understand and share your fears and sorrow as a husband, father and brother. Let us
remember our forefathers and bring them honor.
In unity we will find the strength!
Gov. Tim Duerinck”
Ouisconsin, Racine- Riot at Sport event - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 11:48 am
A riot has broken out at the Racine Cricket Tourney the Kindles. A Mayoral Official comments “We have deployed riot Police to the event… There have been no casualties so far”
Ouisconsin Stay at Home!! - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 11:47 am
Mayor of Medicine encourages citezens to remain in they’re homes. with fires popping up throughout Oinsconsin and no information on the source the officials are rightly in a panic, although there are spotted reports on casualties we have no concrete evidence at this time.
Fres-no love for citizens? - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 11:47 am
Chief deploys FPD to protect his own property amid civil disturbances
Fresnadillio: A source in the FPD reveals that the Chief of Police is deploying officers to protect his personal property and that of the State Governor ahead of the lives of ordinary Fresnadillians.
The impact of these actions on his future career prospects remains to be seen.
A city spokesman described the police’s actions as an “appropriate and measured response”.
Urgent News! Zombies in Dayton! - Ahao, Susannah - 11:46 am
Riots in the outskirts of Dayton, Ahao, have been described as a ‘zombie outbreak’ by an eyewitness. He went on to describe the sight as a “shambling, biting, undead horde”.
This uprising was beaten back by Dayton’s police department, who stated the tactics used was ‘beating them on the head’.
More information will be given as it arises.
President unsure of who to support as successor – No Secretary of State despite Terrorist Threats - National Reporter A - 11:46 am
In discussions with national media, the President stated that she was unsure who she would back as her successor in the next election, though she did state that she would of course be supporting a Republican candidate. Clearly bipartisanship is not a priority for this administration.
Interestingly, the position of Secretary of State is currently vacant and appears not to be a priority for this White House. Hopefully there will not be any international crises in the near future, despite the Joint Chiefs of Staff having been quoted regarding imminent terrorist threats.
Strange Things Moving - Powhatan Editor - 11:45 am
- Savini palace Mayor is dedicated to modernizing the police for and emergency services partnered with hex-tech a company that engineers communications technology and emergency services gear. The mayor was talking with governor and said his city was fine and graciously said to help other cities first the governor decided to prepare to aid charlottes ville but not declare a state of emergency and move in which would cause panic
Interstate Communications Breakdown - Parker Biro Wabash - 11:45 am
A breakdown in interstate communications is currently disrupting Homeland Security correspondence with out of state colleagues. Currently trying to rectify the situation. What does mean for federal support?
New Amsterdam mayor on Susquehannock zombie reports: “Let them come!” - Adirondack Editor - 11:45 am
After the reported zombie sightings in the state of Susquehannock the Badger News has been collecting comments from political figures all over the state.
State Governor Tim Duerinck says “Nothing weird has been reported” in Adirondack. He adds that, in case of a crisis, the state is fully equipped to handle this. Homeland Security has reached out to the other states and is investigating the situation.
However, New Amsterdam mayor Elina Gouliou was seen almost inviting these so-called zombies into her city: “It they want to come, let them come, let them try!”. She was confident that the city’s infrastructure and emergency service can handle anything if anything might happen.
National Guard Mobilising - Ahao, Susannah - 11:42 am
Reports have come in of a large scale movement of the National Guard towards to NG Headquarters outside Toledo. It is suspected that this is for a weekend of training, but this is unconfirmed.
The Commander of the National Guard has been spotted enroute to speak to to Governor.
Terrorist alert IMMINENT! - National Editor - 11:42 am
Alex Beck, the vice-chair of the Joint Chief was quoted as saying, “America is on a high-threat level due to the chatter on the Internet regarding an imminent terrorist threat. Nothing has materialised as yet.”
Ahao Smackdown in Battle for Republican Primary - Ahao - Naomi Young - 11:40 am
CINCINATTI and FRESNADILLO, AHAO: The Governor of Ahao has announced he intends to run in the Republican Primary. This comes hot on the heels of the Mayor of Cincinatti has announcing his own candidacy.
The Mayor of Cincinatti, Kyle Raymond, is running on a platform of “From America, For America”, advising, controversially, that he wants to raise the minimum wage in line with inflation as well as provide tax incentives to keep manufacturing at home in America.
The Governer, Mickey Holman, has held a rally announcing his candidacy with backing from the Mayors of Toledo and Cleveland. He frames himself as a family man born and raised in Ahao with many years of fighting for the people of our great state.
Finally, Dale Lythgoe Chief of Emergency services in Toledo has also announced that he will run in the race.
Disturbances in Across State! - Ahao Editor - 11:38 am
CINNCINATTI, AHAO:- BREAKING: Police have been deployed to two locations in the city of Cinncinatti to deal with large scale disturbances. No reports of casualties and no paramedics have been deployed said the city’s chief of emergency services. Updates as they come in.
CLEVELAND, AHAO:- Casualties in Cleveland confirmed after disturbances. Confirmed reports of fires spreading across the city centre.
Breaking News: Youth in Revolt - Shawnee Editor - 11:38 am
Citizens of Wiederhorn have been left baffled and confused with the recent absence of their Mayor Ibbotson and Deputy Chief-of-Staff Cutts. Both senior and well respected members of the establishment, liked and loved by all, have not been heard from since two days ago. Talking to the remaining staff at the Wiederhorn City Hall it seems they are busy out of town. Deputy Mayor Moutsinas, acting as a spokesperson from the Wiederhorn Mayor’s office has told the Shawnee Social “they are at some kind of conference”. When pushed, we were told they were at an emergency briefing in Ouisconsin, although as of yet we have not been able to verify this story
People on the ground have been telling a different story. Rumours of bands of youths wearing low hanging jeans, playing popular music and speaking in slang have reached our office, an understandable cause for concern. Is the disappearance of our beloved mayor and these youths just a coincidence, or is this the start of a urban nightmare.
The Governer Firefly tells us the Wiederhorn are “not very forthcoming with information… I have nothing to say about that. That’s their problem.” Can the Wiederhorn Office run as an efficient and effective department without their Ibbotson and Cutts? Only time will tell.
For all the news about dreaded youths, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can be sure in
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Trustworthy Jim Gillie - Iliniwek Sports - 11:36 am
Governor Jim Gillie today announced a new ‘State Emergency Response Plan’ that aims to unsure the state of Ilinewek is fully prepared in case of ‘another uprising by those damn liberals’. Furthermore he announced a huge increase in state funding to the fire and police departments as well as on public health. ‘A healthy voter is a happy voter’, he stated and went on to say ‘they’re also happier when they are neither on fire or being mugged’
Governor Deurinck “No idea” who will follow him up - Adirondack Political News - 11:36 am
In case Governor Deurinck succeeds in winning the Presidency, he has no idea who would be most suited to follow in his footsteps as Governor.
Military liaison: “No zombies” - Susquehannock Reporter A - 11:34 am
In a reaction to the reports about zombie sightings, military liaison Rombouts of Susquehannock state denies that this is possible: “The mere idea of zombies is laughable, there are no zombies whatsoever.”
“Zombies” sighted! - Susquehannock Reporter A - 11:33 am
Reports are coming in from Allentown and Scranton about so-called “zombies” being sighted in the streets. In Allentown they can’t really believe that they are zombies, “they don’t exist, right?”
Scranton is mobilising its police because of similar sightings. Police chief Oderkerk says he is taking this threat seriously, but “it is not terrorism, we have everything under control”. The emergency services have confirmed what they call “zombie-like behaviour”, people are aggressive or catatonic, so they are thinking of drug abuse.
According to Erie’s emergency services, everything is quiet, but they are prepared.
State police drill exercises ongoing - Adirondack Editor - 11:33 am
The deployment of state troops has been widely noticed recently in the state of Adirondack. Governor Tim Duerinck has stated that these are merely drill exercises in order to keep the police troops on sharp.
Homeland Security confirms that “nothing is happening”. “Everything is 100% safe”.
Small towns feel neglected by Governor, big cities feel safe - Adirondack Political News - 11:31 am
Recent interviews show that Governor Deurinck has the support of the bigger cities in the state, however the small town of Binghampton clearly indicated that they feel left out in the Governor’s policies.
The big cities clearly indicated that they feel the safety of their citizens and overall security levels are more than adequate.
What’s Up With Wabash? - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 11:30 am
After reports of “zombies” come out of Wabash, this reporter has to ask – what have they been putting in the water over there?
Ouisconsin, Science- Are the Stars right? - Ouisconsin Reporter C - 11:24 am
Local astrology enthusiast Ann Loaf has been arrested for being a public nuisance. “The stars are right. Beware the end times for they be coming.” She shouted from her cell. The local retirement home called a disturbance and she was promptly arrested.
“The stars are all right, nothing out of the ordinary” quotes Dan Hambridge of the College of Minor Importance Technologies.
BREAKING: State governor Tim Duerinck runs for president - Adirondack Editor - 11:23 am
Breaking: Adirondack state governor Tim Duerinck from the Adirondack Democratic State Party runs for president!
The promotional flyer above has just been released. Duerinck’s campaigning motto is “Strenth through Unity”. After the recent typo discussions on the state’s new motto, we are glad to see that no spelling errors are present in this communication.
Furthermore, sources say that governor Duerinck has stated that he finds it quite symbolic that it is exactly the word “togheter” that has been misspelled. Is the state administration out of control? Is the governor still in control of the state’s business? To be continued…
Multiple Zombie Outbreaks Across Wabash - Wabash Editor - 11:23 am
As Wabash mayors try to pool their emergency services in the Carousel Project, under Chief Fro of Boyle City, multiple zombie outbreaks have been sighted in Richmond, Fort Wayne, Gary, and Boyle. Several of these are near both schools and universities.
The Vice-Governor told the Bloodhound that he has the utmost confidence that the cities of the state can deal with this “paranormal activity”.
Chief of Police joins New Amsterdam election campaign - Adirondack Editor - 11:22 am
The New Amsterdam Chief of Police, Kris Van Beurden, is running for the office of Mayor
of New Amsterdam. If elected he vows to correct the shameful way the city
has been treating its police force. He vows to improve police pensions and
improve healthcare benefits and states the city’s men in blue will no longer be left
behind. Van Beurden is a member of the Republican party. His hashtag is #VanBeurden for Mayor.
The current mayor, miss Elina Gouliou, a Democratic party member, has also announced that she will be running for re-election.
Going Do-nuts! - Ahao, Susannah - 11:21 am
Exciting scenes in Cleveland today at the opening of the new donut factory, Kleveland Kremes. The much anticipated facility was opened by Lucinda Quinn, Mayor of Cleveland, in front of huge crowds. The event was much publicised, with the promise of free baked goods for attendees.
However, the sweet atmophere soon turned sour and the Chief of Police ordered a SWAT team to be dispatched to control the rioting mob.
Crossing the bottom line - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 11:20 am
New developments in cubicle case
MANSFIELD, AHAO: Local police today confirmed that they have received “fresh leads” in the case which has been discussed at watercoolers across the county and left law enforcement scratching their heads – just who is the infamous “scat burglar” depriving municipal buildings of vital supplies?
More on the situation as it progresses.
Springfield, Joliet – More Money for Education, Public Services - Iliniwek Sports - 10:09 am
During a recent interview the mayor’s offices of Springfield and Joliet laid out their plans for public spending during the next fiscal quarter. A spokesman for the Joilet’s mayor’s office praised the ‘patriots in blue and the men and women of the fire service’ and promised extra funding their way. Meanwhile the mayor of Springfield stated that nothing was more important than education and said ‘The brains of our young folk should be nourished to provide for a better future for all residents of Ilinewek’.
Mayor Bourgeois: “You cannot pass!” - Northland Editor - 10:03 am
In a hastily-convened press conference astride the Rainbow Bridge over the Niagara River Mayor Jano Bourgeois warned the undead hordes of Adirondack “You cannot pass!”
In response to questions from reporters, the mayor explained, “”I am the servant of Niagara Falls, wielder of the Flame of Ontario. The infestation rules will not avail you, Flame of Buffalo! Go back to the Shadow! You — shall not — pass!”
Joliet Mayor ‘Who was Abraham Lincoln?’ - Iliniwek Sports - 9:55 am
Confusion abounds as a representiative of the Joilet mayor’s office seems unaware of the 16th president of these United States.
More to follow…
Apple releases new Ibook - Susquehannock Reporter C - 9:46 am
Apple has shown its new device, the Ibook, in their yearly conference at San Francisco. Graham Pilens, the CEO of Apple, has promised their new e-reader will be a revolution in current state-of-the-art electronics: “The power of Ibook’s cores will allow the fastest, most efficient of the market to function quietly, guaranteeing an outstanding performance; not only for your reading enjoyment, but also work on documents, presentations, and media.”
Apple aims this way to enter the Ibook market currently in control of Microsoft. The CEO hopes to raise the company’s importance and stock market prices- dropping lately due to the poor performance of the latest release of their smartphone.
New Amsterdam mayor Elina Gouliou runs for re-election - Adirondack Editor - 9:44 am
The city hall press officer has just announced the candidacy of New Amsterdam mayor Elina Gouliou for re-election. The #gouliouformayor campaign features mayor Elina on a USA flag stating “United, we can do it again”. What it is exactly that we can do again is not stated. Surprise?
Gencon Music Greats Announced - Parker Biro Wabash - 9:43 am
Advertised as a “musical shamble”, this years line up includes such geriatric giants as, The Zombies, The Greatful Dead and, once again, The Rolling Stones. Asked as the current happenings in the state sre in any way worrying, rock legend Keith Richards said “I feel right at home”.
State of Adirondack announces new logo and motto (including typo) - Adirondack Editor - 9:35 am
“We build our future togheter” says the state of Adirondack’s new motto. One would say that a state administration could at least afford a decent spelling check.
The banner with this new motto has been spread on behalf of Gov. Tim Duerinck and shows a soft pink-and-purple background with the new logo as well. Particularly remarkable is the style difference between the old-fashioned text in the logo, “Adirondack – Liberty and Prosperity” and the motto, flashy in stylish white with a very modern writing error in this fast-paced society.
Furthermore, the logo shows a ribbon in blue and red with a bird spreading its wings.
There has been no further comment from the State so far on this sudden change of logo and motto. What is up here?
Update 11h54: The state’s press officer has stated that the above mentioned spelling error is indeed a mistake but there has been decided not to correct it as a sign of openness to imperfection: “Nobody is perfect” are his words.
Moreover, strange things have been seen around the State administration’s building: people seemingly running around mindless like a headless chicken. Might they have something to do with this utterly stupid mistake?
People of Shawnee: Shawn the Shawnee Shrub - Shawnee Editor - 9:16 am
Wiederhorn, Shawnee: We all know and love the charming mascot of the The Shawnee State Shrubs, who have been led into university footballing hall of fame by their controversial coach Bill Tucket. But who is the man behind the shrub? We went to find out.
When I first came in to Shawn’s flat I was taken aback by how humble his home was. Father of five and mother of three, Shawn’s cosy flat is home to 9 potted plants in total. Amongst the clutter you’ll find college applications for the elder oaks, and hand paintings from the little ones’ nursery.
“So tell me Shawn, what first drew you in to mascot work?”
“Go shrubs!” Shawn warmly chants, offering me a mug of tea.
“Fascinating. And do you find your children inspire you in your work?”
A tear wells in the area where Shawn’s eyes should be. “Go Shrubs” he quietly chokes.
“Finally, do you have any words of encouragement for you aspiring mascots?”
As I leave Shawn, I can’t help but reflect on what an inspirational figure he is to the community. I look forward to watching this career rise.
For more “People of Shawnee”, look out for the Shawnee Social – Press you can can be sure of
A Quiet Northland Morning…What could go wrong? - Northland Editor - 9:06 am
Happy 150th Northland Day! - Northland Editor - 6:00 am
Journalist goes missing - Iliniwek Sports - 9:51 pm
Ben Harser, our Pullitzer prize winning journalist has been officially
declared missing by police. Ben, who broke the story about trafficking last year identifying links between big corporations Ouiscconsin and gangs in Mishigamaa, is not short of enemies. Police reassure us that they are talking to several persons of interest.
Nicolas Hooks has been seconded from the sports desk to cover.
Crypt-ic Crossword - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 9:16 pm
This week’s puzzle is now available!
See if you can detect a theme running through this grid, courtesy of the good folks in our Ahao office.
You can play online at http://crossword.info/oddtwang/Cryptic
or download a PDF via http://tinyurl.com/unsoc-cw
If you’re in Ahao, why not stop by the Badger offices and pick up a copy in person?
Knowing Me Alan Partridge, Knowing You, Ahao! - Ahao "Wee" Ken D'edition - 9:13 pm
CENTREVILLE, AHAO: Actor Steve Coogan made an unscheduled stop in Ahao yesterday during a transcontinental flight which was grounded due to another passenger’s ill health. That’s certainly a memorable Trip!
Pig Suspected in Subway Ram-raid - Ahao - Naomi Young - 8:40 pm
WASHINGTON COUNTY, AHAO: In further updates to our last story, it now seems Millie may be facing charges of her own.
The 3 year old Gloucester Old Spot was found supine in an alley outside Main Street, with food strewn around the place. The nearby Subway had its window smashed and large quantities of stock missing.
“It was a complete pigsty when I came in this morning!” said Chuck Farnsworth as he was cleaning up the detritus, “It seems pretty obvious who the culprit is” he added.
The police have taken Millie to a nearby farm where she is being held in solitary confinement until the effects of the Marijuana wear off. They stated they have no plans to charge her, though Chad may face criminal damage charges on top of his earlier arrest.
Chad Spohn Goes On Bender After Pet Pig Eats His Marijuana - Ahao Editor - 3:14 pm
WASHINGTON COUNTY, AHAO:- So much for living high on the hog.
An Ahao man allegedly went on a bender after his pet pig ate his stash of pot.
On Thursday, deputies in Washington County, Ahao arrested Chad Spohn, 44, on disorderly conduct charges that started after he discovered Millie, his beloved pet, had gobbled up his marijuana.
Deputies arrived at Spohn’s house after he called 911 several times and said he was having suicidal thoughts. During one call, he said he was holding a butcher’s knife to his own throat, according to the police report.
Spohn’s wife, Heather, told officers that her husband was already depressed because of their pending divorce before discovering the pig got into his cannabis.. She said he then downed an entire bottle of Everclear , a strong alcohol.
HIs wife told officers that Spohn gets very upset when he does not have any mariuana.
In order to arrest him, officers subdued Spohn with a Taser. He was charged with disorderly conduct by intoxication and resisting arrest, both misdemeanors, and later released.
Spohn is out of custody, but Millie may not be in his life much longer, according to a Facebook post dated Jun. 27, two days before his arrest.
“Anyone want a pig? She is free and comes with food and cage,” he wrote. “She is house broken as long as you show her where to go. If you have a dog, she will follow it. I just dont have time for her anymore.”
Ahao man surprised to catch 50-inch muskie - Ahao Editor - 3:03 pm
CENTERVILLE, Ahao (WCMH) – An Ahio man shared pictures of a 50-inch muskellunge caught over the weekend at Caesar Creek State Park.
“I got a really bit muskie on, biggest one I ever laid my eyes on,” said Cole Menker as he tried to bring the giant fish into his boat. “I haven’t caught a lot of muskie in my life, he looks like he’s a high 40s.”
Menker and his brother were fishing for saugeye with eight-pound test line when he caught the giant fish.
He posted a picture of himself holding the estimated 50-inch fish after he managed to reel it in.
“Moms Birthday today! She must have threw one down from heaven,” Menker said in the post.
Menker released the fish after taking pictures.
Bill’s Donuts receives honor from People Magazine - Ahao Editor - 2:55 pm
CENTERVILLE, Ahao:– Just a short drive from Columbus, there is a Dayton area doughnut shop that’s getting national attention.
Bill’s Donut Shop was featured Monday in People Magazine for its famous doughnuts.
The magazine gave the store the “Reasons to Love America” honor.
All of the donuts are made by hand in the Centerville store and it is open 24 hours a day seven days a week.
Montreal’s Annual Zombiewalk to Proceed as Scheduled - Northland Editor - 11:51 am
“I’m sure it won’t be a problem”, commented Jacques Strappe, organizer of Montreal’s famed Zombiewalk.
As Montreal celebrates its 375th anniversary, and Northland its 150 years of confederation, the Paris of North America contiues with its plans for fun and frivolity despite the panic to the south.
With festivals set to run all summer, Montreal’s Mayor Chenille Nogodere is determined to go ahead full steam with his lofy celebratory plans: “With all the money we spent on the beautiful orange cones around the city, you think something like an undead plague in America will stop us? Like our Prime Minister’s father said long ago: Just watch me!”
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (AP Aurelia Ontario) - Northland Editor - 2:22 am
“Well I don’t know, they just showed up at the door”, stated Mrs. Ida Olgunquit, when asked about her new American “friends”.
Ida, a kindly 84-year old resident of Aurelia, Ontario, took in a family of people who she believed to be lost, beleaguered American tourists.
“They were all dirty and grunting, wearing their ‘Make America Great Again’ hats. I thought they were lost so I invited them in for tea.”, the lovely lady continued, “I didn’t suspect anything until one of them tried to bite Captain Majectic’s tail [editor’s note: Captain Majestic is Ida Olgonquit’s Persian Cat].”
Mrs. Olgonquit called 911 shortly after serving the American visitors her reknowned steak tartare, which seemed to please them very much. When asked why she didn’t call authorities earlier, she simply stated “that wouldn’t have been very polite, dear.”
Chief Derradji: No fire too hot handle - Northland Editor - 1:59 am
Niagara region emergency services chief Islam “Le Pouvoir” Derradji has reassured local citizens that “no fire is too big, no conflagration too hot to handle” for the men and women of the local fire department.
As large plumes of smoke rose from the nearby city of Buffalo, Chief Derradji expressed his hope that the chaos seen South of the Border would not reach Northand. “All I can say is avoid open flames indoors, don’t overload electrical outlets, and replace the batteries in your smoke detectors annually. Apocalypse or not, your life may depend on it!”
154th anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg - Susquehannock Reporter - 12:04 am
Gettysburg, Susquehannock – Reenactors and spectators alike are looking forward to the annual Gettysburg Civil War Battle Reenactment this weekend, exactly 154 years after the original Battle of Gettysburg on July 1-3, 1863.
Thousands of Civil War reenactors will reenact several actions of this historic battle, starting with “The Ambush at Hunterstown” on Saturday, July 1st and finishing with a segment of “Pickett’s Charge” on Monday.
One of the biggest and most popular civil war events in the country, it is not just about the battles. There will be live mortar fire demonstrations and a living history area where visitors can experience life in a civil war military camp. Added to this are many demonstrations including civil war music, 1860’s ladies fashions and civil war medicine, and, for the first time, interactive activities for children.
Experience living history! Day tickets are available at the gate.
Susquehannock Annual Dairy Fair Opens - Susquehannock Reporter - 6:46 pm
Tonight marks the start of Erie’s main event for the year: the Susquehannock Annual Dairy Fair! Farmers have been drawing into the city with their stock from far and wide, hoping that this year, they will be among the hallowed few to gain the highest marks in their class and gain possession of the coveted Erie Dairy Awards. Word is out that this year’s prizes shall surpass everyone’s imagination with the John Stark Tractor Company putting up their new range of combine harvesters on the ‘prize table’. Watch out for our weekend special edition showing all the competitions, and prizes!
Boyle City hotels fully booked for Gencon 2017 - Wabash Editor - 2:39 pm
Boyle City, Wabash. Hotels are reporting that they are all fully booked for the forthcoming Gencon Games Fair. The Mayor of Boyle City congratulated the convention on its popularity and especially looked forward to the megagames that were going to be played there this year. The mayor now seems fully recovered from the recent episode when he claimed that ‘we are all living in a megagame’ and put it down to his incredible excitement and enthusiasm for this new hobby.
Surly Tourists Spotted at Rainbow Bridge Border Crossing - Northland Editor - 2:21 pm
There are many reports of surly American tourists crossing the border at Rainbow Bridge into Niagara.
The unkempt, barely verbal tourists seem single-minded in their efforts to cross into Northland for the 150th celebrations.
Representatives from the NBSA (Northlands Border Security Agency) were unavailable for comment.
Kanawha State Fair Coming this Summer - Kanawha Editor - 2:08 pm
Kanawha loves the State Fair, and it is back, coming in August! Eat hot dogs, corn on the cob and roasted peanuts! Enjoy the ferris wheel and the giant slide!
Northland – Yours to Discover - Northland Editor - 2:00 pm
Green Bay Quarterback reassures Ouisconsin - Ouisconsin Editor-In-Chief - 9:53 am
Six times Pro-bowl quarterback A.A. Ron today reassured fans that the ongoing undead apocalypse won’t affect the teams performance. “I mean sure the crowd is a bit more bitey than usual” he told Badger news earlier today, “but we’ve always had (re)animated fans and I know that the guys will rally round and keep playing no matter what”.
Director of stadium security at Lambeau Field Brian Favre also wished to reassure Ouisconsin football lovers. “While a higher than average number of stadium goers were eaten during the first game of the season, we have moved quickly to address the situation” he stated at a press conference last night. “Since we began stocking fresh brains at all concession stands things have improved significantly. We are also looking at suspending the season ticket of any customer caught devouring a Packers supporter”.
Northland Post issues commemorative stamps - Northland Editor - 5:15 am
To mark the 150th anniversary of Confederation, Northland Post has issued a set of commemorative stamps.
Unveiling the new stamps, Deputy Prime Minister Aaron Brennan stressed the importance of this year’s Northland Day celebrations on July 1. “One hundred and fifty years ago, our forbears came together in Charlottetown to eat lobster and build a new country. At the time, they faced enormous challenges in bring together so many different peoples from coast to coast to coast. Today we are a people bound together in our common love of tolerance and diversity, our shared disdain for Toronto, and our collective inability to afford real estate in Vancouver.”
In what may or may not have been an oblique reference to the recent epidemic of undead-related mayhem South of the Border, Brennan added “We may all soon die as endless hordes of bloodthirsty lifeless fiends spill across our borders, devour our children and small pets, and litter our pristine streets with mangled body parts torn from the very bodies of the living—but, my fellow Northlanders, we will do so together, and do so with some very nice commemorative stamps as well.”
Northland Public Health Agency issues new advisories - Northland Editor - 2:41 am
The Northland Public Health Agency today released revised health guidelines for the month July.
“We are warning all Northlanders that plentiful spring rains, followed by a warm summer, have resulted in unusually high pollen levels across southern Ontario and Quebec.” said it statement. “Consequently, watery, itchy eyes and frequent sneezing are likely to afflict those suffering from seasonal allergies. These can be treated with simple over-the counter medication.”
The statement continued: “In addition, if travelling South of the Border this summer, travellers should be aware that growing numbers of Vicious Animated Corpses have been reported in areas of Mishigamaa and Adirondack. If VACs are encountered, we advise against approaching. Instead, it is recommended that Northlanders apologize politely, and withdraw from the area immediately.
Environment Northland forecast for July 1 - Northland Editor - 10:16 pm
Top experts agree: Montreal bagels are better - Northland Editor - 8:03 pm
Experts from the Northland Institute of Culinary Arts today confirmed what all Northlanders have long known: Montreal bagels are vastly superior to those from New Amsterdam.
In contrast to the more bread-like bagels made in New Amsterdam (above right), those in Montreal are made with malt and sugar with no salt, and are boiled in honey-sweetened water before baking in a wood-fired oven—resulting in both superior taste and superior zombie-killing capabilities. According to a statement issued by the Institute,”Our strict scientific testing has confirmed that Montreal bagels are sweeter, more delicious, and can incapacitate the undead when thrown with sufficient velocity at the head. Moreover, the wooden paddles traditionally used to place them in the oven can be sharpened and used as a defensive weapon, and the paper bags they come in when freshly baked can double as an emergency treatment for hyperventilation. By contrast, puffy New Amsterdam bagels simply bounce off their targets, and—when sold in plastic bags—represent a serious choking hazard for small children.”
NBC announces new season of “Dick Danger: Apocalypse Survival” - Northland Editor - 7:36 pm
Popular reality television star Dick Danger will be back for another season on the Northland Broadcasting Corporation prime-time schedule, according to Emmy Nant-Menasse, Director of Strangely Relevant Programming at NBC.
“Dick Danger’s surviving fans have let us know that they want him back, regardless of whatever charges he faces in Costa Rica,” said Nant-Menasse. “Whether it’s wielding a blood-stained machete against ninja thugs in a dark ally, impaling an alien predator on a sharpened traffic cone, extracting drinking water from a dead racoon, or just being a Dick, no one else does it like Danger.”
In a statement put out by his publicist, the star welcomed the NBC announcement. “Danger is my middle (and last) name, and so I’m very excited to be appearing in Northland for another season. My viewers are lucky to have me!”
A feature-length autobiographical movie, “Danger: Awesomeness Revealed” is scheduled for release later this year.
Northland Armed Forces may consider “limited call up of reservists” - Northland Editor - 4:11 pm
A spokesperson for the Northland Armed Forces has confirmed that the NAF might consider a “limited call up of reservists” if the crisis South of the Border grows any worse.
Such a mobilization of reserves—last seen during the Great Maple Syrup Shortage of 2015—would follow either declaration of a state of emergency by the federal government, or a request from the Ontario government for assistance under the Emergencies Act.
Chief of the Defence Staff General Daryl Cartier expressed confidence in the NAF’s ability to deal with any eventuality. “Despite having an underfunded regular forces component and reservists with decades-old hand-me-down equipment, the NAF is second to none. During the Zombie Invasion of 1812 our brave Northlands forces turned back the invaders, and we’re ready to do it again.”
He was quick to add that it was unlikely to prove necessary to burn down the White House again this time, however.
PM Judeau reassures Northlanders: Be happy, don’t panic - Northland Editor - 3:53 pm
Prime Minister Trustin Judeau today took a break from visiting an experimental yoga camp and organic farm to reassure Northlanders that a growing epidemic of violence and chaos South of the Border were “nothing to worry about.”
“Like you I have seen the news reports of mass murder, of shootings, of bloody walking corpses devouring the very brains of the living—but these should be put in context,” Judeau said to reporters as he lunched on a mixed salad of organic alfalfa sprouts and locally-sourced cranberries. “We’ve seen this sort of thing before. We’re well prepared. People should go about their daily business, whether it be eating poutine with the family, or welcoming immigrants, or deploring violence while celebrating a national game that is regularly punctuated by on-ice brawls.” The emergency services are well prepared for any eventuality, he added. “With Northland Day approaching on July 1st, I would urge everyone to be happy, don’t panic, and to bask in our great and friendly country’s innate sense of smug self-righteousness.”
Super duper WAMControl tests Badger local news site - Adirondack Editor - 2:21 pm
what, you need more to understand what’s going on???